4 days ago • 92%

The Animals Entering Noah's Ark by Jacopo Bassano

10 comments

What in the before jesus is this?

2
That's a whole lotta same sex animal couples. Repopulating the earth should be interesting.

3
How did the homosexual deer couple repopulate?

3
- Life, uh, finds a way.
  
  3
How the fuck did Noah get those turkeys?

2
Of all the Biblical stories, this one has the most sci-fi vibes that makes me think that life on Earth might’ve been brought here from another world. That’s assuming we accept the story as having some element of truth and taking a more wild interpretation of the story. It could easily be an exaggerated story about some regular flooding event and people having to migrate a few miles away with their farm animals, but let’s go sci-fi with it.

Assume that the genetic information for living things of one world was collected and transported to another planet to seed this new planet with life (artificial panspermia). If done early enough, maybe it’d account for the fossil record, it wouldn’t have been modern animals, maybe just microorganisms, basically the Engineers from the Aliens movies (this is essentially the backstory from Prometheus).

Somehow early man is made aware of this, but their dumb brains can’t even conceive of what it all means, they haven’t even discovered flight or DNA or anything, or the story itself was purposely dumbed down to be understood. So this story gets passed down orally and over generations morphs into Noah building a big ship and taking two of every animal with him to survive a flood. It definitely seems like an allegory about some disaster-induced migration.

2
- When I was a kid sitting in church daydreaming, already losing my faith, I would pretend that stories from the Bible were just misunderstood oral histories. Like what if humans were from another planet? Their polar ice caps melted causing the Earth to flood. A benevolent space fairing alien race stops by and saves them. The aliens explain what they're doing but over thousands and thousands of years The history was blurred into what was eventually written down. It actually made it a lot easier to stay awake during service.
  
  1
Where are the 40,000 species of beetle? The 28,000 species of ant? The 9,000 species of termite? Why did he bring bed bugs and Guinea worms?

2
There’s a really strong vibe of all of them being huddled together as kin, like the feeling you’d get upon ducking into a dome where your crew is all cuddling at burning man.

Strangers made intimate by using the same shelter in a storm. Random shoppers hunkered down in a grocery store together when all the roads are closed by a flash blizzard.

1
Those are some big fucking cats, man.

Edit: and ALL the dogs, apparently

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