Can't wait

66 comments

Oh sweet summer child... There isn't going to be many elderly millennials. Most of us will die off from our fifth "once in a generation" financial crisis, WW3, or the collapse of the environment. Hopefully the younger generations use our bones to build a better society.
- On top of the fact that you need to have saved money to pay to live in a retirement home.
  Are... Are there people that sort of really hope to just go from their patents' basement to a retirement home?
  
  Well if they bothered to submit those patents instead of leaving them in the basement then they might be able to live in a retirement home
  
  How many of us are still in our parents' basements? I'm nearly 40, struggling through our 20s was one thing but by now...
- Right?! I don't know any millennial whose retirement plan isn't just hitting a certain age and killing ourselves.
- Hopefully the younger generations use our bones to build a better society.
  Knowing people, they'll use them to bash each other in the face, more likely...
- A major problem is that the demographics for Millennial retirement are a lot worse than for Boomers. Boomers at least had a decent number of millennials to help support them in retirement.
  
  Oh my God not this birthrate bullshit.
  Birthrates aren't down by much globally. Just learn a language and don't be a piece of shit to the rest of the world.
  Maybe rationalize labor practices and add some automation while you're at it.
  What's really gonna stop us retiring is climate change

It's extremely unlikely that social security will still exist by the time we're old enough to retire, so retirement will be yet another thing reserved for the rich.
Unless you live in a civilized country (not the US) in which case enjoy your retirement you lucky bastard.
- I just hope that the current crisis in the US is a hallmark of the downfall of American capitalism and that the status quo can change long term. Remains to be seen if that’d be good or bad, though.

Jim sucks and is an office bully.
We're watching Futurama, fellow olds.
- I had the full run of the The Office on video. I had video editing software. I had it all planned out, how I was going to edit out 90% the Jim scenes from The Office, so I could play the whole thing on loop without intro or outro or the worst parts of the last two seasons.
  Then I stared in the mirror for a long time and I was like: wtf am I doing with my life? And I haven't watched The Office since.
  
  fuckin screencapped
- Dwight is literally a fascist and usually only falls for Jim's pranks because of his fascism
  
  Two things can be true at the same time!
  
  Extra reason to Futurama.
- Futurama has good science and absurdists jokes, but there is a LOT on Futurama that has not aged well at all, especially from a gender and sexuality standpoint.
  
  This conversation here is what the retired millennials are going to be doing, incapable of choice
  
  Perfect! We can do discourse!
- To be fair basically every futurama character (except maybe Fry) is a bully
  But I love watching it for some reason.
  
  Kif is a bully?
- Hell yeah, based gramps.

Retirement?

Well, hopefully those wealthy millennials will enjoy their distractions, homes, and retirement while the rest of us are dropped into the industrial grinders they use to reclaim the nutrients from our bodies.
- Come on now, you're making soylent green sound so industrial and devoid of feeling.
- They will!
- It is every citizen's final duty to go into the tanks, and become one with all the people.
  Chairman Sheng-ji Yang
- Boomers are starting to become homeless. Their kids the millennials will have it worse, as most millennials can't afford a starter home. Retirement will look like homelessness for many of them.

We have a collection of millennials and Gen z at our retirement home as staff. (Ofc)
We joke about this but it is put in place by us saying we'd also have to be picking up shifts to even live there. It would have to be a sort of inmates running the asylum situation because we're all working til we're in the ground.

And again everyone forgot about GenX, just the way we like it 😆
- "Meh."
  My Gen Z cousin had zero respect for me til they PvP'd me on an old-school Street Fighter arcade machine.
- I'll be listening to Nirvana and playing Symphony of the Night in my room. You're welcome to come down the hall to hang out any time.

Maybe The Elder Scrolls 7 or Grand Theft Auto 7 will be out by the time I retire. Probably not. Weird that both those games have their 6th installments coming out next.

Finally I can max out my Runescape character!
Logs in to Jagex, sees a blank screen
No... it's not fair..... there was time now...!
- MTX so crazy in RS now (RS3) that you’ll likely have to pay to move every click by then
  
  no joke

Zoomers dabbing in their retirement homes whilst their cloned grandkids look on in cringed puzzlement

Nah, screw the office. Make it scrubs instead.

I thought about this, but arthritis is a thing sadly. It's probably fine for non action games, but forget about playing smash
- The older I get (40's now), the more I think about how I probably won't be able to fully enjoy video games like I thought i would. My vision which was always perfect is starting to show issues already, whenever I pick up a game I almost always nod off or fall asleep within an hour or 2 and almost nothing prevents it. My hands will sometimes lose sensation and I have to drop my hand down and stretch it to regain feeling... I feel like I'll be like that guy in the twilight zone who outlived everyone and was finally able to read all the books he ever wanted but then immediately stepped on his glasses.
- Yeah smash destroys the hands of 30 years olds in the scene.
  What I'm looking forward to in retirement is finally cracking into games like Dwarf Fortress, Factorio, and Caves of Qud
- Fine, hearts of iron; all the survivors will be weird esoteric fascists by then anyway.
  
  Now you mention it, I would like to die taking some fascists with me, rather than from some suck ass old age pathology. Now I have way too much to loose, but in my old age, I'm going to be dead anyways, so why not. Maybe we see a rise in Luigis
  
  Don't forget about the commune of trans girls who will also weirdly be into Hearts of Iron and Warhammer 40k