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Stamets @lemmy.world

2w ago

3 Wishes

56 comments

Reminds me of this comic which was also made in 2019 or 2020 i believe.
- Saw a funny continuation where the dogs first wish is for them to swap bodies and his second wish is that the person couldn't talk.
  
  That sounds more like cat wishes to me.
  
  The tragic comedy is when the dog wishes the human can live forever.
  
  Someone posted a version of that in the comments. A bit dark!
- I'm willing to bet the comic came out first.
  
  I found a thread discussing this and the claim is that a tweet came first, but i wasn't able to open the imgur link provided. Either way, i definitely saw the comic and not the tweet

- ok but like isn't this a great outcome for the human? that dog has to go to school and pay taxes now. jokes on him
  
  Is this why dogs always stare creepily when the lovemaking starts?

BALL. I WISH FOR BALL.
- This is where two balls comes in handy.
- Granted. One of your testicles grows back.
  
  I SAID BALL NOT TESTICLE. JUST BECAUSE I CAN TALK DOESN'T MEAN I UNDERSTAND IDIOMS.

Technically it can already talk using its own language.
To talk with human words requires a bump in intelligence which would end up in severe depression once it realises the dynamics of ifs existence.
As you didn’t wish for that intelligence you’re now stuck with a dog that barks with human vocal cords. Its first wish was made using body language for the genie to pet them. The second wish was to trow a stick.
- To talk with human words requires a bump in intelligence which would end up in severe depression once it realises the dynamics of ifs existence.
  A bump up in intelligence that allows for speech, doesn't mean it inherently becomes aware of all the existential dread in the universe or becomes unhappy with its station.
  See: children.
  
  all the existential dread in the universe
  See: children.
  
  Man I had existential dread at like 3 or 4 when I started wondering what happens after death and what the meaning of this existence is if it's limited to one lifetime... I'm not even bullshitting.
- Tell that to LLM bros 🙄
- Here's the real genie answer, complete with ironic consequences based on a literal interpretation.
- Technically non-human animal communication isn't language.
- Language = pain

Dog: I wish my human was never sad and will live forever.
- I wish we could eat poop together

"I wish I had my balls back"
"I wish for the humans balls to be removed"

"I wish for a litterbox with infinite cat poop."
Dog

Just make sure you don't try this with your cat

That's nice. I'd wish for the scientific knowledge to create sustainable fusion. That way I could be rich, famous, and save humanity.
- Youd think it would go that way.

Dog: whatever it is you’re trying to say, I don’t understand you.

wish one: I want to be the best boy/girl
wish two: I want to overcome my fear of the demon cat

I wonder what the dog would wish for?
- Food. Twice.
  
  Granted. You get dog food twice per day, as usual.
- Sausage!

56 comments