1w ago

It is crazy

31 comments

I didn't even get good grades!!
My mom didn't relax until she saw the actual diploma.

Then they get pissy when you self-normalize the frothing, twitchy-eyed mental pace that most assuredly indoctrinated in young, innocent you... 🤦🏼‍♂️

Turns out if you’re really really good at standardized tests, they just assume you’re good at everything. How the fuck do I adult, help!
- You just copy what other people are doing. When I got my first real job I was just looking at what coworkers where doing and doing the same. After a while you'll understand the why and improve things etc, after a while new people will look at you.
  
  It’s just impostor syndrome all the way down/up
- Tests as we fo them are such an outdated way of education. Is the point to make people learn things, or judge their memorization?

This is my wife. Unfortunately, she still has to because none of the drugs have had any effect for her. :-(

@ickplant Oof, that hit me in the feels

As a parent of a child with ADHD, bad grades are a signal they aren't able to cope or excel in their normal state. If the child is able to get good grades then it's really hard to justify putting your kids on a mood altering drug.
My oldest child has ADHD and is currently on drugs for him to be more successful. He started taking ADHD drugs in high school and that made it much easier as a parent to make the decision to put him on the drugs because he could provide intelligent opinion and feedback.
I know there is a tendency here to think that the parents are doing this for nefarious purposes, but wouldn't it be more nefarious to put your kid on mood altering drugs because they were hard to deal with?
Everything is a shade of gray for most kids. If it were black and white it would be easy. I want what is best for my kid, but that's not necessarily an easy thing to know what is best. If it's a close call, then it seems the safest route is the one where you don't give your kid potentially addictive mood altering drugs... and that's where we were for several years in junior high after he was diagnosed. He actually did quite well during covid doing school at home, and when he went back he struggled.
Let me emphasize again, this is not an easy decision. Almost all parents are trying to make the best decision for the sake of their child. You can always come up with the shit parent examples, but for every one of those there should be at least two or three good ones trying to make the best decisions possible.
- ADHD diagnosis doesn't automatically mean stimulants. I think this post is about diagnosis. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 27 years old.
  I had good grades. I somewhat succeeded in my job. But it absolutely tore me apart without even knowing it. I ended up with depression and severe anxiety. Drugs or no drugs, it would have helped me so much to know there are neurotical reasons for why I always felt like something was wrong. That my world is different from other people's. Psychotherapy alone does wonders.
  Also, ADHD meds (if dosed and used correctly) just raise certain neurotransmitters to a regular level. They are mind altering in the sense that they make your brain function as intended. Doing that may not always be necessary, but they're not like recreational drugs.
- We should delegate these decisions to professionals because otherwise, parents like you who go on vibes cause tremendous suffering in aggregate.
  Any treatment requires a willing kid and parent, but doesn’t the doctor’s expertise and recommendation outweigh your lack of expertise? I have a degree in this stuff and I would still prefer to take the advice of someone who knows better.
  The problem is, it’s easy for us to think we know something that we don’t. Often, we don’t have the breadth and depth of knowledge to make a reasoned decision that is better than the judgment of a specialist.
  
  My son's case wasn't severe. The specialist basically said "I can diagnose him with ADHD if you want" after seeing him for a 30 min session (may have been an hour). The specialist laid out options and let us decide. They never recommended anything. That's the way health care is these days in this part of the country. Don't fool yourself into thinking the specialist just knew the right answer and we just ignored it; that's not the way it worked in our case (and probably most cases).
  I feel like you guys are crazy to act like this is a infallible binary diagnoses or that one solution fits everyone. Or that as parents we shouldn't be cautious with a drug that will affect the way our child thinks. That's just bonkers.
- I'm grateful that your kid has a parent that's looking out for him.
  A key part of this meme is how many of us could "pass" in a school environment by one particular metric (grades), yet meeting that metric doesn't translate to success in life. Passing tests and getting high grades are things that we are told are important, but they only matter for that short period at the beginning of our lives.
  As a former ADHD student - getting good grades doesn't matter as much as developing coping skills that we can use as adults. Schools don't teach that. They want us to get good grades and obey our teachers, that's it. As a result, many of us (who were basically trained to be good students) have difficulty transitioning to adult responsibilities, which are very different.
  Decades of "teach to the test" and dumbing down of the educational system has resulted in many of us slipping through the cracks when it comes to practical skills. It's still a lovely thing for a kid to get good grades, but it's crucial not to consider it the most important part of education.
  Thankfully, it sounds like you're the supportive type of parent. I hope you understand any rants here are not related to you, I'm just still annoyed by the school system and its misplaced priorities.
- Drugs aren't the only treatment for ADHD. God, if someone caught it earlier and helped me learn coping strategies, I'd definitely be doing better!

This isn’t some gotcha though as getting bad grades is pretty much their main way of knowing you might have it.

Is this a complaint that we aren't forcing drugs on children more often? Weird take.
- Fuck me.
  "drugs" are one possible treatment for ADHD.
  Just being aware that ADHD is a thing that you might have would alleviate the great shame of being "a bit weird".
  Imagine if you could explain to a child why they're different, how many other people are a lot like them, and some easy ways to smooth over their rough edges.
  That's just so awful. Who would want to do that.
  
  Thanks for the cheeky explanation. Forcing drugs on kids is pretty high on my list of bad ideas. Giving a kid a label that helps them feel less weird and alone seems alight. Strategies to smooth rough edges sounds very helpful. But what sort of strategies? Do you mean things like these common ADHD accommodations?
  Preferential seating (near the teacher, away from distractions). Extended time on tests and assignments. Shortened assignments (while maintaining rigor). Instruction in note-taking or providing notes. Segmented assignments for long-term projects. Frequent feedback and check-ins. Movement breaks or opportunities for physical action (e.g., running errands, standing desk). Use of visual aids and reminders. Pairing visual and verbal instructions. Alternative methods for demonstrating knowledge (allowing them to play to their strengths).
  What's the point of giving a student with good grades an IEP though?

Given how much a bunch of guys complain about condoms.
Forcing women to raw dog adhd seems pretty spot on…
- Anyone who complains about having to wear a condom is going to be a bad partner.
  
  This is true, although a small portion of the population struggles with arousal when condoms are present.
  That being said... complaining isn't the right course of action if you've got that issue lol. Just gotta find different stuff to do!

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