Budget Rule

Wouldn't it be better to use all that obsidian to build nether portals so we can build a public transit system on the bedrock roof?

Now that you mentioned public transportation the US will never agree to the project
- The US would sooner build a gigantic obsidian orb than even think of building high speed rail anywhere.
Honestly why don't we have a nether portal transit system already. Server is how old at this point? Smh my head.
- Ok but has anyone actually tried it yet? You could be the first
Or maybe we can feed the homeless obsidian?
- I'm pretty sure at that size the obsidian eats homeless.
They placed it right next to Bay Bridge too, a place in dire need of traffic decongestion.

Turns out it'd be a dissapointingly small sphere:

US annual defence budget = $800 billion 2% = $16 billion Obsidian cost per kg = $5 Total kg in budget = 3.2 billion kg Density of obsidian = 2.6 g/cm3 = 2600 kg/m3 Total volume of sphere = 3.2b/2600 = 1230769 m3 Volume of sphere = 4/3 π r^{3
Radius = (3V/4π)}(1/3) = 66.48 m

The sphere would only stand at 133m tall, I propose we instead utilise the entire defence budget for a much more skyscraper like 490m tall orb

Nobody said it had to be a solid sphere, how else would you get it to emit the ominous hum without attuning its natural frequency by carefully designing the thickness of the obsidian layer?
ignores engineering and construction cost. but we can assume that all people involved would work for free, because its a massive honour
- Obsidian Orb is really Roko's Basilisk. Allowing you to live is your payment for building it.
Well that's assuming it's completely solid and not hollow. Hollow would probably be pretty huge, although the structural rigidity might not be great. Maybe we make a giant obsidian 3D printer and print it at like 10-15% infill.
- An obsidian 3d print is less crazy than you might think. It's essentially rapidly cooled lava.
  Need something to hold the lava, then pressurize it to squeeze it through a nozzle that that has attached cooling units.
You're assuming one year of budget. I take it as 2% per year and something of that size would likely take 10+ years to build out.

It would also crack instantly. Obsidian's not durable.

yeah right. it takes a long time to mine, even with a diamond pickaxe
Why should it crack?
- Because Obsidian is really fragile. Maybe a bird hits it by accident, shatters the whole thing.
Found the shill for Big Limestone.

My only question is why we didn't build the orb back in the Eisenhower administration when it was most needed.

Congress had a huge Anti-Ǒ̴̰̘̲̭̿͑̒̒͐̀̋̕͜r̷̡͍̼̹̥̻͖̤̅͑͌̋͌͗b̶̡̛͈̺̬͙̰̙͖̘͔̳̲̦̦͖̄͆̃͂͆͠ caucas after WWII. It's a miracle we got the Ǒ̴̰̘̲̭̿͑̒̒͐̀̋̕͜r̷̡͍̼̹̥̻͖̤̅͑͌̋͌͗b̶̡̛͈̺̬͙̰̙͖̘͔̳̲̦̦͖̄͆̃͂͆͠s we did.
- Oh, you mean like the one in Cincinnati?

Would be a far better use of the 'defense' budget than what they're currently spending it on.

Thats funny because more than 2%, more like 40%, of our defense budget is going into a black orb never to be seen again and is completely unaccounted for.

I have the feeling that if we shook execs at Raytheon and Lockheed upside down for long enough a fair amount of that would fall out.

2b2t players:

Just imagine the size we could build if we used all of the defense budget. It's resonant frequency would blow the eardrums of everyone on the West Coast and kill all marine life. One day when I'm presadent...

I don't think "resonance frequency" means what you think it does.
- Sure I do, its when the Acoustic suspension and the harmonic distortion collide creating a Bass Reflex that shakes your ass.

Why would it hum and am I taking this too seriously?

That's the best part - nobody would know!
- But even so, if you were wise, you would hum as well.
Large homogenous objects make noise. Most theories i've heard think it's a result of vibration/internal stresses.
- But is the joke that it will hum because that feature is money well spent, or because a large orb just does because of science, or because it just does and no one knows why?
Well because it comes out of the defence budget it would be a military installation and therefore the hum is classified
I think you're not taking it seriously enough. The number of benefits from this would be immense.
- Think of all of the use we got out of the Omaha Cube! And it only whistles!
Why wouldn't it hum?

Something one might propose to build in Night Vale.

Please do not disregard the obsidian sphere in the Night Vale public swimming pool. Make sure to give it all due attention. But not too much attention, so as to make things weird. Too little attention, unfortunately, will also bring about its ire, and we all remember what happened last time. Simply apply the recommended amount of regard to its ominous, strangely comforting hum, as it gently lulls you to sleep.
And now: the weather.
- Wow. Nice to meet you, Cecil. Big fan. Please don't ask me to work as an intern.
There have been reports of a large black orb near the dog park. Ignore them. There is no orb. Nor is there a dog park. Besides, mysterious, humming orbs are nothing to worry about anyway. So why are you bothered by these reports? And now, the weather:
- In fact, I would much rather live in a community where a wholesome, humming orb would be a welcome sight. If people report every single ominous orb that they see, why, there would be less majesty in this world. That sounds like the kind of austere, silent community that Desert Bluffs wants to be, and do we really want that to be the place we call home, dear listener?