Scientists Discover 512-Year-Old Shark, Which Would Be The Oldest Living Vertebrate On The Planet
Scientists Discover 512-Year-Old Shark, Which Would Be The Oldest Living Vertebrate On The Planet
A couple of months ago, a group of scientists discovered an ancient shark in the North Atlantic ocean.
Imagine how racist that shark must be
70"Oppressors are way too soft these days. Colonizers from back in my day knew how to handle indigenous populations - biological warfare and slavery."
17"too many damn land animals in our waters these days. Back in my day you wouldn't see a land animal down here unless them Krakens started kraken their ship down here, damn Landers"
7
This is really cool, but I’m not so sure about the source.
Choice quote: “Previously, scientists used the size of the animal to determine their length.”
59That and snopes debunked it: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/512-year-old-shark/
53Between 272 and 512 years old. Still freaking old.
15
Surely the age of the animal was similarly determined from the age.
14You can tell that it's a Greenland shark because of the way it is.
10I read that part three times to make sure it wasn't me miss reading.
9Oi'll tell ye, when me miss is readin' oi steer well clear of 'er.
1
From context it's quite clear that "length" was supposed to say "age". Seems more like an accidental mix up of words rather than bad source material.
8Yeah, I know what they were trying to say. The whole thing reads like a middle school research essay though, it's completely full of errors and very strange word choice. That wasn't even the only error in that one sentence I quoted. Regardless, it's a very cool topic, just the source (the website, not the research) is a bit questionable.
Granted, I'm usually too critical this early in the morning.
11Well, to be clear, analyzing an animals size is one way to determine its length.
7
That shark has seen some shit
19Mostly fish shit.
12Theres no way that thing still "sees" anything
5That shark has experienced some shit!
3
Iirc half of them are blind due to parasites in the eyes.
3
Lets make it a candidate for US president or a senator. Does it still qualify to become a LA Laker?
19Can't be President. Senator is still on the table though.
3If you were born in America before America was America, are you still American?
3
They don't really mention how they get samples of eye lenses to perform the dating.
15Retrieving samples would be the last thing on my mind if I was dating a shark. I'd be preoccupied choosing an appropriate appetizer and getting that silver fox back to my underwater cave.
21
Grandpa shark do do do do do do
9Look how soft and cuddly those eyes are
5Is the preview picture… not showing a shark to anyone else? I clicked on the article and didn’t see this picture there either.
3Looks like Luchador Bowser to me.
4Related articles: Bowser is 513 years old, beating out an old shark
2
I just assumed the shark is a luchador.
1Wow, I didn’t know luchadors could make it past 500.
1
kbin does that now and then.
1
Chinese: “Quick! Kill it and do something weird like snort it’s bile because it might make something totally unlikely happen!!!”
1Australians try not to be racist challenge (impossible)
-1People that live in China and who follow traditional Chinese medicine but who may not be ethnically Chinese try not to consume an endangered species challenge (impossible)
2