Would it make sense for a person in a "privileged class" to move from a red state?
Trying to gauge if I'm going crazy or a little too much "online."
I currently live in Texas, and moving has been on my mind a lot lately as the Republican party and Texas itself seems to be slowly moving toward fascism. I don't know when the slide toward fascism will stop, and how much more authoritarian the state will get. I do not feel very good about my tax dollars going to support this state.
I am a middle-aged cishet white man; middle to upper middle class software engineer. I have leftist opinions (libsoc/ansoc), but I'm not an activist (I am very introverted, probably a little bit on the autism spectrum, and pretty much a hermit right now). I do seldom indulge in marijuana consumption, which is illegal here.
I really don't have much tying me down here. I have no close friends, no family in the state, and no current romantic partners. Last year, I moved within the state for a job, but the company was bought out, and everyone was layed off. I have very high autonomy at my current job, and could probably work fully remote if I wanted. Moving would be expensive (I am in an upside-down mortgage), but I have enough savings to take the hit.
I am personally feeling very isolated here (Texas suburb), at this point in my life, and am thinking about moving into some sort of intentional community (eco-village, cohousing, or land trust; not a commune) in a blue state (or even in Canada if I could pull that off).
Also, the weather in the last 2 years has been absolutely oppressive, and I have a hard time keeping anything alive in my veggie garden :)
Am I being over dramatic? Should I just stick it out here, and try to rebuild my life in a state that doesn't align with my beliefs?
Also, I've heard arguments that libs should stay or even move to red states, but I'm not convinced. The state rules with an iron fist, and pre-empts anything progressive Texas cities try to do. And the district I live in is already pretty solidly blue. Not to mention, red states put families that contain females or lbgt people in danger.
You seem to not be enjoying your current situation anyway so I'd vote for a change. We are all very small fish in a big sea when it comes to changing states whereas you can make a big change in your own life.
You can only choose what's right for you. I've often said that if I was able to work remotely with a high paying job that I would buy a big house in a small town.
This is something that I think about often. There is an argument that progressives should try to stay and change things for the better where they are. I think to some extent, though, that only works if everyone is operating in good faith. The government there is essentially conducting a full assault on any progressive measures. Just recently, Texas passed a law that automatically overrules any city ordinances that they dont like. More progressive cities like Austin can try to pass laws to protect tenants or workers, but it won't do anything. It's hard to make a positive impact in those circumstances. You also have to balance out the fact that by living there X% of your paycheck will go to that govt via property/sales tax.
On the other hand, where do you move to? There are lots of communities with skyrocketing real estate prices that they blame on remote workers (not sure how legitimate that is), so people are getting priced out of the communities they've been in for ages.
In the end, I think it's impossible to make a complete moral determination either way. The only thing you can do is just try your best at whatever you do. Whatever you do, I'd definitely recommend trying to build a community wherever you are. You might not be able to get the local laws around you to reflect your values, but you can do your best to help those around you.
There's plenty of things going on in Texas that affect everyone. The biggest one in my opinion is the horrible electric grid and refusal to connect to the rest of the nation.
I just moved from NC to the Pacific Northwest for very similar reasons. Remote work in tech and no close family ties back in NC. My partner and I moved here a few months ago and while the cost of living is definitely an adjustment, it has been a positive change in every other way. The weather is great and the people are wonderful. I no longer get nervous or anxious going out in public. I actually enjoy restaurants and farmers markets here. You only get one life. Be happy.
Gotta go with what works for you. But as a fellow cishet middle-aged white engineer, you could not pay me enough money for me to want to move to Texas. Or Florida. Or most of the middle of the country. If I were in your shoes, I'd be out as soon as I had the means to leave.
I mean, I'm a fuckin' weirdo who loves both heat and humidity. So I'm not really the target audience for that particular argument. But I get that I'm a weirdo, and most people don't like living in the desert or a swamp. Personally, I'm much more turned off by their politics than I am their weather.
Since you have the means and nothing to tie you down, I'd say go for it. It would be interesting to try living somewhere different. You only have so many years to experience life. Any sort of rural area further North should still be affordable and be kinder to your vegetable garden.
agree with what everyone else has said here. worry less about "should" and go find your tribe wherever it may be.
as i once said to a friend who contemplated the same kind of move years ago, if it doesn't work out you can always move back. not like it's a one way street.
Try a Midwest swing state! I live in a backwoods town in PA, and although there's not much of a chance of a Dem winning a local election, we have enough major cities to keep fascism out of the State law.
I might be very wrong, but I wouldn't be against Texas and Florida leaving and starting their own countries. Let all the boot licking racists go live happily together far away from me.
Recreational marijuana is illegal in PA. I've kinda been using recreational marijuana laws as a litmus test on how authoritarian a state is. Also, I do sometimes use marijuana, and don't want to go to jail. I've had a few close-calls here in Texas (once, the cops just stole my weed). Been looking at rural NY as a possibility. I may visit some intentional communities there soon.
The states are not liberal or conservative, it's the fraction of rural/suburban to urban areas. It's extremely rare to find a left leaning rural population and similarly difficult to find a very right urban one. Find a place that suites you, but keep in mind your hood's politics will largely be controlled by population density https://engaging-data.com/election-population-density/
Yeah, I know. I grew up in a very rural area, and now live in a major metro area. It's not so much the people in my area that I have a problem with, it's the state government. I've met plenty of like-minded people in my area, and most have been contemplating moving out of state as well, lol. I'm trying to figure out where I want to set down roots at, and right now it seems like a gamble that Texas won't become more authoritarian in ways that negatively affect me as time goes on. Even current legislation could negatively affect me if my life circumstances change.
I left Texas many years ago and you couldn't pay me enough to move back. Get out. Go experience other communities, cultures, and locations. Go somewhere where any future romantic partners have actual human rights and healthcare. Go somewhere that doesn't have a state flag as part of its identity. It will be an adjustment, but change can be good.
If you have to ask, it might be best if you move. But you'd most likely fall into the same habits and become isolated again. Have you tried joining a club or something?
I was born and raised in Texas and left over a decade ago for all the reasons you mentioned. I do think Texas will eventually turn purple. The Republicans are going more fascist because they know this too and are having to get even more aggressive to try and stop it.
I simply refuse to live in a red state. Only negative is a higher cost of living esp housing where I landed and further from family. But I feel more at home even tho I’m not where I was born.
Texas population is purple, we just need more people to vote. My work and social circle are 85% blue and 15% moderate red. You're going to find people who agree and disagree with you in any situation and that's how it should be. You have to do what's right for you, but wherever you are, vote and encourage people around you to vote. That's the only way anything gets better.
"people who [...] disagree with you and that's how it should be" I mean... except for human rights. Like there's a ton of crap that no decent human should agree with going on in states like Texas, Florida, and more. Some of that is inexcusable, even if the person is uneducated and easier that way. Plenty of knowledge freely available on the internet. Many of the social positions of conservatives simply cannot be excused, even as a "we need differing opinions"
Honestly in all this it's easy to forget about the simple things. Does living where you are make you happy? Florida is likely imploding at present as the draconian laws being dredged out are going to cause issues. Notible ones. Republicans are basically cutting off their own noses to spite their face to make their supposed utopia and the logistical problems are mounting meaning a greater degree of cognitive dissonance will be required to maintain enthusiasm.
There are people who are having to flee because they can't be healthy there. You are not an exception to this. If you can't be healthy where you are then being beholden to the gridlock of politics is affecting you in a way that is not ethical. Yes, we trans folks and people affected by abortion bans need allies. But we can't fault people for their choices to leave because they are unhappy for the same reasons we are.
Epicurean ethics run the trans movement. At it's core is this set of principles : you, like every other living thing are in the right to seek the circumstances under which you best flourish. Minimizing the pain experienced, your own and that of others is ethical. Avoiding pain is not an unethical choice.
Whether it's denying their government tax revenue or staying so you can lend your voice to the movements you believe in it all might come out in the wash in the broader sense of politics - but you also deserve kindness.
While I wish I'd done it with better financial timing, it worked out and I'm glad I'm here. Hell, it sounds like your skills are a good fit for certain places, too.
If it suits you, find a place where outdoors is a place you can enjoy almost every day of the year. They aren't as rare as Texas makes it seem.
Red state doesn't necessarily matter, find a purple state or a purple district where you and a few like minded people can potentially flip a district. I moved to a perpetually 51/49 district, I did get involved a bit in local politics to help spread the word (mostly stopped during COVID). Within a few years, we flipped the district blue for the first time in like 15-20 years.
I encourage you to focus more on where you're moving to, then where you're moving from.
This is a chance to choose a community that supports your hobbies and interests.
As others mentioned, it also makes sense to consider the impact of local policies and amenities on both yourself and your future friends or lovers. Life can be simpler if you already live in a place that supports whoever you may end up building a life with later.
I'm like you, 50s, middle class software developer, WFH, never will vote conservatives. I'm already in a right place (Québec). Yeeeeaaaaarrrssss ago I wanted to move to the USA of course, opportunities, money, freedom, etc, then I saw what was going on south of my border and decided to stay in Canada, it was a good non move.
If I were at your place in life, I would definitively move, especially because Texas. Moving to Canada maybe be complicated, to legally work here (and don't go to alberta, the north texas), but maybe try New England? Boston for instance. If you prefer smaller city maybe Burlington? I don't know west coast enough now, but Seattle was in my plan years ago, but now I'm not sure it's the right place...
I'm right there with you in almost an identical situation only in Florida. Honestly though it doesn't suck here nearly as much as Reddit and the media want you to believe. At least not for people like us anyway...
At the end of the day I try to ignore all the macroscopic issues that I have no control over. There's a few things missing from my life here that are not missing elsewhere, so I'm 99% going to move soon.
I don't mean this in a selfish way but I think the best thing to do is whatever is best for you regardless of all the white noise around you.
I was in the middle of biker nazi desert town building expensive homes for rich people and yes, it was time to go once covid set in and their families started moving back and spreading their nazi propaganda at the local small destination town businesses. The weather is destroyed. We lost out monsoon 5 years ago. The weirdos in AZ jumping the border to cause trouble in CA has been annoying. The Republican representatives cater to racists and have been trying to switch leadership without elections. I shit you not.
Get out now because I assure you it is not getting better.
I'm in a similar situation to you. I feel that staying here and voting blue is better for helping than leaving to a blue state.
With the huge influx of people moving here from elsewhere (especially California), I really thought we had a chance to start tipping blue, but unfortunately it seems like no one that has a liberal mindset is interested in voting, at least in my area. Our voter turnout in my area is just abysmal. So despite living in a very blue city. Everything I voted for this last midterm election lost. Even things specific to my county.
With the huge influx of people moving here from elsewhere (especially California), I really thought we had a chance to start tipping blue
Weren’t a lot of people who moved from blue states conservatives who wanted out from there? I mean, I do know some people who moved for CoL reasons and not because of political views, but some people also moved because of the latter.
I can't say for sure because I don't have the data, but anecdotally, I moved here from California because I couldn't afford California anymore, not because of my political views. I live in a highly tech area of Texas. As far as I can tell, it seems like other folks that I have met that also moved were in the same situation as me. Just couldn't afford California anymore, wanted to move to another tech city.
Unless we have data, I don't think we can really do much other than speculate, unfortunately.
Honestly, it seems to me that you have all but decided to move and the only thing holding you back is fear of change.
Man, if I were in your position, I'd downsize my belongings and become a digital nomad and I wouldn't limit myself to the US. Spain, for example, has a newish digital nomad visa that you can get for a year, renewable for three (I think), and it's not really any more expensive to live there than a typical Midwestern city. Even cheaper in some areas of the country. If I didn't have a family, I would move there in a heartbeat, at least for awhile.
There's a lot to see and experience in the US too, though, so if you aren't feeling adventurous enough to live outside the country, you might look at Minnesota. Duluth, just as an example, is about the same cost of living as Dallas and today's high there is 69 (giggity) vs 106 in Dallas. I haven't been to MN yet, but I'm planning a huge road trip for next summer and northern MN looks gorgeous.
Heat waves, droughts and extreme water events. If this is already a problem where you live, I would move. I need my garden. I need the world around me to be green and not burn me to a crisp or my quality of life is gone. I need my state to do what is possible to keep it green and cool and Texas does not have the best record in doing that.
For a 'hermit' person, finding a closer community could also be a very good thing. Do it when you are young. It's much harder if you're like me, approaching your 60s. The older we get, the harder it is to make big changes. I just made one because I know I'm going to stay single, but I don't want to be a lonely old person. I like solitude, but only if it is a choice, and where I live now I have a close-knit community when I need company and space to myself. I am happy with the change, but getting used to a new place takes a lot of time now and it is a bit scary how hard it is on me compared to even bigger changes I made when I was 30.
Blue states also need people to defend democracy. You can be a pillar of democracy anywhere in the US, and keeping democracy up will keep the red states from going completely crazy.
Whatever your decision will be, I wish you the best!
yes, it's the definition of privilege since most don't have that privilege and i've recently become a member to that privileged class (for now atleast); which is how i can recognize it.
i also do software and i was in austin and left a couple of weeks ago because i'm not cishet nor white but still experienced enough bigotry (especially from gay texans) that it was impacting my psyche, so i had to leave and i feel sorry for whomever is like me but is stuck there because of something as silly as not having the opportunity to do software.
I’m in the same boat in Texas right now. Want to move to a more liberal state, and have several friends who already have.
The reason I stay is every person like me who leaves makes Texas more red. And often times, a liberal Texan is a conservative Californian/Coloradan/Canadian, so moving to one of those place will also move them to the right, so both places shift red.
Case in point. I have a friend who moved from NYC to Dallas because NY was too liberal and their conservative votes didn’t count there. They lasted 6 months before deciding to vote democrat in Texas, because red here is further right than they are comfortable with, so their move made NYC and Dallas more liberal.
I'm left of the DNC (a socialist), so wouldn't be a problem. Only things "right" about me are I like target shooting, and dislike restrictive zoning laws.
If you think living somewhere else will make you happier, you should do it as long as it doesn't screw you over financially. Even if you're probably not at risk of persecution as a white male, I can fully understand not wanting to live in a christofascist hellscape. If you have friends in a more desirable area I'd consider moving there.
You sound like me. I'm diagnosed autistic (mildly), I'm a software engineer, I'm introverted, I'm definitely liberal leaning, and...I live in Oregon.
For now, I love it here (except Portland proper). So many great restaurants, bars, breweries, wineries, and a crap ton of trails and other parks and sights and sounds.
I live semi-rural and half the businesses here have pride flags and BLM signage. I'm non-white, but don't feel unsafe walking around where I am at night. My tech contract jobs are remote and I make more than enough to live comfortably.
It rains a lot here... though less so these days it seems. It's weird how many 100+ degree days we get now, but it's still a lot less than other people I know.
off topic to the question above.. but how do you reliably find tech contract jobs? i love the stability at my currenty company, but i hate just about everything else. 18 days PTO with little opportunity to travel (i have to be online 9 to 5 which really overshadows being somewhere) and have be interested in trying freelancing, i just have no idea how to find jobs regularly enough to have an income.
Honestly, early on, I wasn't reliably finding them. But that lasted maybe 6 months?
If I have a 6mo contract for example, I'm still applying for a couple jobs every week. I'm keeping in touch with recruiters that don't suck at their job and building rapport with them. I'm pinging prior coworkers and just seeing who/what they know is available.
Obviously, soft skills and resume matter too. I have enough buzzy technologies under my belt that it increases the breadth of jobs I can apply for, which helps.
Yeah, it was rough at first, but not like...I was destitute by any means. And now with enough of a network built up I'm relatively confident that even if shit hit the fan, I could find a job inside of 2 weeks.
If you're in the US (or I guess anywhere?) - just make sure to account for taxes...
Isolation sucks and (political) alienation does too. I wouldn't give too much about party politics, but supporting women and queers is a nice cause.
I guess you're not the only one contemplating similar steps - given your class background I'd argue that it's part of a brain drain of so called 'red states' ('The South' isn't enough anymore). Political stability is part of QOL, but once intentionally disturbed there might be a feedback loop of brain drain, QOL decrease and political instability (because it sure isn't safe for many).
I think you also have at least some moving experience...
I never understood why anyone would want to live in Texas. Just seems like a bunch of insecure rednecks who is afraid of anything that isn't a straight white family . I know not everyone one there is but it does seem like the people in power feel that way
As someone has mentioned before, it's more of a rural/urban divide. Rural northern states are also full of rednecks. In my experience, rural Texan bigots are a lot more overt though. Stopped at a gas station in rural Texas once with my girlfriend (now ex), and the old women at the register refused to ring us up (because my girlfriend was black).
I'm in a similar situation in Florida. Florida is where I've spent my whole life and the natural beauty of the state is incredible. However the government here is insane. They attack liberals at every chance, and are rewriting education to fit a disneyfied history. My wife and I are currently looking to get out. Change here seems hopeless between gerrymandering, and the massive influx of red voting retirees. Michigan sounds amazing to me except for the winters. We've discussed Colorado , but it's pretty expensive, and the water management in the west is worrisome. We're just on the lookout for what fits us. The only thing that's certain is that we aren't long for Florida. I am forced from my home by retirees and insane politicians.
Yep. I'm middle aged and have lived in FL most of my life. While the nature is beautiful, they're paving over more and more of it everyday. It's hot and humid and buggy. But, the actual reason we're leaving is my trans child. I don't want to be in a state that actively hates my family. We're looking at Illinois.
It's horrendous how the Florida government is treating trans people. I hope you and your family find happiness and can live comfortably away from these bigots. Maybe one day Florida will change, but currently it's the absolute worst.
Also on a lighter note is your username a They Might Be Giants reference?
I just spent some time in savannah which was great. Reasonably priced and Georgia is a blueish purple state. Charleston SC is quite nice as well but more expensive. Something to consider.
If you don't like it, leave! That said, if you're worried you're too "online" as you said, you probably should also look for opinions from people not online.
Hey you sound just like me. If your going to move, perhaps somewhere like PA? It's got the benefit of being a battleground state, and there's more than enough rural areas, even relatively close to the cities, where you can continue your hermitage. I'm doing something similar (:
Hey OP, I am similar to you in most aspects but I'm a lot younger, so please take it with a grain of salt...
I also live in Texas, and honestly I thought a lot of less privileged folks or ppl with family ties would love to be in your situation and just leave? It's not just about politics. Even if tomorrow Texas becomes a liberal stronghold, it will still take possibly at least a decade to fix ERCOT, the climate issue, and flooding issues (if you live in Houston)... This clusterfrick alone was enough to prompt me to never live in Texas again once I'm done with grad school
Besides, my understanding is that there are a few left-leaning metro areas which have suburbs (or live in the city!) that don't cost that much more to live in compared to mid-/upper-mid-class TX suburbs, so there's probably no financial disincentive to move either
I did, and multiple friends are either actively working on doing the same or have expressed interest but have constraints (e.g. an autistic child who found a school / therapist they like, or non-ASD kids in hard age ranges to move).
Contributing to a pro-birth, anti-democracy, anti-reasonable-gun-control, transphobic economy in a hot humid climate that’s getting worse made no sense.
Texas literally banned ensuring workers get 10 minute water breaks every four hours. They banned cities voting to protect their own trees. Local democracies try to make things better and Texas says no. All the while, Texas refuses to employ a fair taxation strategy for less-urban areas, so blue cities have to fund the red counties’ school districts. Anybody not actively fighting to improve the political situation there should leave.
I haven’t missed the weather at all.
You’re underwater on a mortgage - this may not be catastrophic if you have a COVID interest rate and the place is rentable. Is that an option?
There is no “should” here. You feel unhappy with current arrangements and would not mind paying expenses to have better life elsewhere, sure, go ahead. It is your life, you do not owe to anyone, live your life. Stay, or leave, It is still (mostly) free country.
OP, you mentioned that you are unattached but are you looking for a romantic relationship in your future? You also don't mention your sexual orientation. Are there enough potential partners for you (similar POV, politics, culture, hobbies, curiosity about the world, etc.) that a relationship would be harmonious? If you do establish a relationship where you are and maybe decide to raise kids there, how do you feel about the education they would receive, the ideas and beliefs they will be exposed to? What is your partner needs an abortion or your kids are LGBTQ+? Just trying to see if you are planning to be solo indefinitely/permanently - potentially creating a family will add more variables to your calculations.
Hey you've clearly been thinking a lot about this and where you want to take your life. It will take effort either way, whether you choose to build your life there or elsewhere, so feel the freedom to try something else. If you're undecided, maybe think about what you would regret the least. I've also thought making a quick pros and cons list for myself helps. Best of luck to you
We are moving out of our red state by the end of the year. I do have a dog in this race. I'm a mother to a daughter. We only waited because of opportunity, but we've been planning it since RvW.
I will always encourage people to move out of red states if they can, especially Texas. Find a place that makes you happy.
You can't be a useful protestor/advocator/supporter of any movement if you don't address your mental health and well being first. It's a bit more nuanced than do what makes you happiest, but more like do what makes you happiest and can still sleep well at night I guess.
I think you would benefit most by moving abroad. Staying in one country your whole life is very one-dimensional. If you move to another country, esp. overseas, you will look back on your current boredom as wasting your life and you will regret not having done it sooner. Go for just one year. You can always return if you don’t like it. You might be someone who says “I went for 1 year, but stayed 5”.
But first move to a purple swing state like GA or PA for just a month or two, then move your stuff into mini storage. Two reasons: you get to experience a different part of the US, briefly, and you can register to vote in a place where your future votes will count the most. Because that’s the state you will vote in while abroad. OTOH, isn’t Texas on the edge of being a swing state? It’s probably not a bad place to vote from.
I moved to a region where my lifestyle (accounting for wages, tax, cost of living) was effectively cut in half. Yet it was still the right move. My initial thinking was I will live anywhere for a year to get a different experience - I can always bounce back if I don’t like it.. if the pay reduction bothered me. I ended up staying ~10 years.
A big factor is where you are in life. Fresh out of university, it’s important to gain ground right away and perhaps get the house paid for, or nearly so. But once you’re a senior dev and at a point of calling yourself “privileged class" with a decent sized 401k built up (which is great to convert to a Roth while abroad), you’re only cheating yourself out of life experiences by continuing to chase the money. Some research concluded around ~10 yrs ago that people’s overall happiness improves as income increases up until the $55k/year mark. Beyond that, income doesn’t matter much. Of course that would be a little higher now with inflation but I guess the OP has cleared that figure.
I think it was around 15 years ago I started researching typical incomes around the world and I noticed that Japan paid SWEs double the US average. Cost of living was about 50% higher in Japan but it still worked out that a US→Japan move would have been a lifestyle upgrade. So there are some rare exceptions.
Things are going to change fairly soon. That's why the GOP is so frantic about getting voter suppression and their agenda in place before the demographics change. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4FqqVzH8-0&t=22s
Don’t let politics rule your life’, friend. I have far right wing opinions and live in what I consider to be a redistributionist socialist utopia, totally hostile to personal economic development. But more likely, like you alluded to, we both probably just spend too much time online getting politically polarized. Nowhere is perfect, and geographical political isolation is bad for the country. I advocate for localization, building the world you want where you are, and socializing even more online. My online friendships are more persistent and convenient, and sometimes deeper and more human than real life.
I'm afraid to ask and be totally disappointed, but where do you live that is a supposed socialist utopia? Cause I don't know if any that exist in this world so I'm afraid I'm just going to be disappointed by exaggerated rhetoric. Especially since I've never known any socialist concept to be hostile to personal economic development. Especially since it kind of requires success on a personal level to even be possible. But I'm hopeful you might know of some utopia I'm unaware of.
It’s a great place to live, even though I’m unemployed. My perspective is limited due to personal circumstance though. I’m just saying you can be happy and fulfilled even if you live in a society that doesnt perfectly match your values.