*Cries in Debt*

"You could say I've already given you ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS"

43

We want a gift! But only if that gift is money!

16
Reference for those who don't get it: https://youtu.be/aiqKK4ysI7g?si=vacQZ6VZIlvmnIOT

It's a great bit.

12
- "What kind of coke head relative!"
  
  Oh the irony
  
  6
Unfortunately nobody wants to go a giant single structure college ala Highschool+, aka Community College. They want all the extra stuff.

2
- I did as close to that as I could, going to community then transferring to a 4 year. The problem is deeper than people wanting extra stuff, part of the problem is that nobody respects community college degrees, and they're usually 2 year programs.
  
  13

Why colleges ask for donations? I am not American.

33

Greed

27
- Well no, its for scholarships in the US
  
  -9
Because they like having money? Running a university is legitimately very expensive and there's always more to do. I think it's more common with people who went to business school or became pro athletes, etc. They end up with very profitable careers and a fond recollection of their time in college. It's worth it to the university to ask almost everyone just in case, because sometimes they find that one whale alum.

17
- Running a ~~university~~NCAA athletics program is legitimately very expensive
  
  FTFY
  
  30
So they can up their investment income from $1B to $1.0001B

15
- I looked up the University of Cincinnati's finances once because I never realized they were public. I think UC owns non-liquid non-realestate assets somewhere in the 30billion range. They still ask for donations, despite the fact they could give free education to every student for multiple years.
  
  10
Purelly and entirely because when it comes to money with no strings attached, having X + A money (if A is a positive real number) always beats having only X money, hence why lots of people are pointing out Universities with X in the billions of $ which still ask for donations.

It's pure unadulterated greed, trying to monetise a (not anymore deserved for most in the US) public image of Universities as places that help people have a better future.

7
For scholarships

-4

Since you know the person on the phone is doing work study, you tell them that you won't donate a dollar until your salary clears their tuition costs.

They stopped calling me!

31

"Oh shit, you didn't spend all of the $90,000.00 I literally just gave you, did you?!"

23

Had my university call me up about a year after I had graduated. I was unemployed and had not been able to find a job post-graduation. I explained to the person that unfortunately I do not have an income at this time and was still living at home with my parents and trying to find a job. Their response: "Well do you have a credit card? You could use that to donate and worry about paying it off later."

20

What's the problem? We can just add it to your existing student debt.

11

I work at a consulting firm that has the college I went to as a client. I get to bill their asses

20

So the money you use to pay off your student's debts is used to provide your income, which you can use to pay off student's debt...

It' the ciiiircle of life!

8
- The loan is used to pay the school. The debt is to some other party. Unless schools have been getting into the student loan racket, too.
  
  1

I am never going to financially recover from this.

17

But you have freedom ("free" as in "free to pay")!

12

My college used to call me monthly and I kept telling them I was unemployed, for a year straight. They haven't called in ten years now 🤷‍♂️

12

The joy of every college offering every degree and sport with tons of different offices which don't really teach you anything lol.

There's a reason they go through white collar fat like mad the moment enrollment goes down. Which has been down for like 5 years now.

Also most of those donations subsidize tuition for every campus I've ever visited.

And while they are looking for everyone's money, it's usually very well off whales that pitch in the vast majority of fundraising $s.

The joys of trying to keep the lights running on 100+ year old structures.

11

laughs in state-subsidised university

8

I remember freshmen calling me to ask for donations before I had even landed a job.

6

Is not tipping your collage really a thing? I get why some very greedy people don't tip their landlord or boss, but collage?

5

Dear University,

Please ease up on tuition costs for the class of 2027, and all classes after that. You're addicted to bankrupt-proof government backed tuition loans and it's time to seek professional help. Then we can talk about funding you guys out of the pockets of your alumni.

5

My college call me for offer PHD or some crap course (Yes, i am from Brazil and graduated in a underground institution)

2

You fucking spent it already?!

1

This made me laugh more than it should

0