Memories from ages past

I used to Google image search boobs in the web browser built into my PSP

SFW, trust me
And now the PS5 doesn't even have a(n easily accessible) web browser.
- Kept getting exploited to hack consoles because Sony sucks at using hypervisors (although I'm anti-DRM, so...).
  XBone and Xbox Series still haven't been hacked, outside of a barely used escillation bug in devmode since MS uses hypervisors for everything, which essentially sandboxes everything into their own VMs.
Porn was by far the best thing I ended up using my PSP for. It wasn't advertised for that purpose (luckily), but I'm sure a large portion of younger owners found out that was the true purpose of the device.
- I mean, boobs are pretty great, but have you tried Renegade Squadron?
Omfg
! Core memory restored !

I have watched porn in 128x160.

I have ejaculated whole waiting for a naked woman loaded line by line.
I watched porn on the hustler I found in the woods
- Pshh that’s nothing, I had to wait for the steamboat to arrive and keep an eye out for any ankle while harlots descended down the ramp.
It was picpost.com after my parents went to bed. 640x480 jpgs that you got to see line by line. And if you could find a postage stamp video filmed on a potato, it was maybe 10 seconds and you put that on repeat until you finished.
pixelated nipples glittering in the dark off near the Tannhäuser Gate...
I used to have some JPGs stored on Zip disks lol

I once ran up a $300 AOL bill. Back when they charged by the hour.

I rang up over a thousand dollars in charges for using a number outside of my local exchange, which was at the time considered long distance (same area code). I had spent a couple days camping out in an IRC channel.
- Ah yes when "local long distance" plans were an unfortunate thing.

I used to be able to remember about a dozen phone numbers, now I barely remember mine.

I still remember my parents mobile numbers from 2008.
I do not know their current numbers.
- I remember my friends phone numbers from the 80's, and I have no idea what their numbers are now. Like I don't even know a single digit in their new numbers. I've never even seen the numbers. We tapped our phones together, and I magically had their contact card.

Oh man. I have a nostalgia for old cellphones like the Nokia or flip phones, but not the cell plans. There was initially no internet, but when it showed up it was super limited data. Limited texts. Limited minutes. But you could get free texts and calls after a certain time of day, like 5 or 6 in the evening. Plans were expensive. If you went over your allotment of texts it was a ridiculous fee like 25¢ or 50¢ a text. Same for call minutes. You were constantly clock and usage watching. I got one bill for almost $500. Ouch.

I guess it tracks that the type of person who would beat their son over an internet bill would also beat their dog. Some people have no business having kids or pets.

Right? What a horrifying metaphor

Ah, fond memories of tying up the house phone line all weekend for a 48 hour non-stop Starcraft marathon over AOL, getting pings on battle.net that were embarrassing then but are probably considered warcrimes today.

I remember my friends and I would all be in a waiting room to load a command and conquer map when we played online.
While waiting for everything to lead there was a progress bar so you could see how far along you and your friends loading bars were.
One friends dad as in IT and got high speed internet before the rest of us.
It blew my mind to see his loading bars zoom to complete almost instantly.
It's amazing any real-time gaming worked with all that latency.
I routinely played Quake 2 with 200-300ms ping. I had to abandon hitscan weapons entirely, relying on rockets and grenades to do any damage. I never dominated any pub matches, but I usually wasn't dead last either. Anyway, forcing that much latency on gamers nowadays is disallowed under multiple UN sanctions.

lost my virginity in a AOL chatroom

For some reason my brain read this in the exact way that Humpty said "I once got busy in a burger king bathroom."
Asl
- 16/f/ca u?
Ooh this is a real one, I lost my cybervirginity in a IRC chat before I even cared about losing my IRL one. In fact I was a bit late on that one (19 y/o)

My little brother ran up an $80 texting bill and I wanted to beat him like a dog, but I didn't.

it was quantumlink (aol's predecessor, for the c64) chat rooms for me. dad was long gone by then. qlink was linked to my own bank account, so i felt it in a different way. for 'porn' the most accessible thing was a simple hack for c64 strip poker so they started out nekked.

Did you happen to watch Halt and Catch Fire?
It was clear that Mutiny was Quantum Link.

I had a -3k rubles bill when they were like 30:$1 for browsing supposedly free services from my mobile carrier. Dad didn't touch me, but the look in his eyes was more painful than that. It was a great lesson in not trusting random ads and free stuff.

Not being a dick, asking honestly. Was it rare to not get beat in Russia?
- Maybe? My generation (millenial) had troubles with many kids lacking fathers who ghosted them or disappeared completely and not being educated by a combo of a mother and gramps. I feel lucky I had a complete family and one that was liberal enough to not touch me at all. Many of my friends didn't have that favor. A soulcrushing amount of them had just a mom, one that was depressed enough to scream at them and beat them when they didn't toe the line. Today it seems better in general, but less pairs even agree to have a child in this economy.

Getting in trouble for calling long distance...

My favorite Boomer porn stories.

One kid paid for a copy of Playboy with seventy five pennies he'd saved up.

Military kids knew when 'snap' inspections would be carried out. They'd warn the troops, who would hide their porn and beer in the woods. Then the kids would search out the stashes and abscond.

When I was twelve I was able to forward AIM to my SMS. Backs when texts where 11¢ a piece... $350 that month.

I remember putting stuff infront of the router to hide the internet LED when i played Maple Story and told my dad that all those others are NPCs

Dating when each sms cost $.20 was rough. In the long ago, BBS numbers were all long distance from our house.

Long distance was always a massive scam by the phone companies. Glad that's gone (now to do the same with international calls)
- And data caps. Like, I get capping at 10 or 100TB on a residencial line, but 50GB cell data or 1TB home data is wack.