9 mo. ago • 99%

Jupiter has 95 confirmed moons

47 comments

If moons were cats, most planets would be the typical cat dad/mum, and Jupiter would be that crazy old neighbour with too many of them.

...wait a minute considering how our Moon developed, even moon adoption is cat-like! You don't say "I want a moon", the moon just hits you and say "you know what, I'm living here now!"

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Not shown: Jupiter occasionally tearing one apart and strewing its innards all around or abducting random passerbys and eating them.

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- It's okay, must of their kids are adopted anyway.
  
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  If I'm not mistaken, Luna is the only moon of same stone and lava as it's parent planet. Charon, too, maybe?
  
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  Read what you write.
  
  -18
- I was going to say, just like the god it's named after, but I guess it was Saturn who ate babies.
  
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  Who amongst us haven't snacked on some infant from time to time? Amirite, fellow atheists?
  
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Mars's kids are named Fear and Terror. Not the best parent material there.

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- Well, he is the god of war. He wishes his kids to grow up strong and respected like him. Don't be so harsh on the guy, he's doing his best you know.
  
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  You know. This could be hilarious as a premise. I’m thinking a monte python style comedy.
  
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- "The moons of Fear and Terror" sounds like an amazing crossover between DOOM, Fear & Hunger and Darkest Dungeon
  
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- Appropriately enough Fear (Phobos) is slowly getting closer to Mars and will eventually crash into it.
  
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  Just 50 million years or so to go!
  
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- Other planets have moons. Mars has a pair of hamsters. So hamsters named Fear and Terror.
  
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Don’t forget Saturn’s 145 moons!

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- But it's got rings for them to play with.
  
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  Because Beyoncé likes Saturn.
  
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  Jupiter has rings as well, they're just puny compared to Saturn's
  
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but a bitch ain't one

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- A bitch, I don't think so, but a cow, a bear, a goat (maybe) and probably a lot more are.
  
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"I got too many dang moons"

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Now are those moon little humans with limbs and a face or are those moon embryos

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Confirmed as in paternity test?

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- Jerry springer style.
  
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I would take one it it came along but the process of getting my first moon... not again

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Does that mean Kamoʻoalewa is a bastard child?

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- More an abandoned one?
  
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QI | How Many Moons Does Earth Have?

Edit oh wait that was just one time when they asked.

Here's a collection:

How Many Moons

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- I loved QI with steven fry, it's not the same now
  
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Lol, those moons better watch out. They've gone over the number 10! They'll be reclassified as minor moons at any moment now.

(Yes, I still think reclassifying Pluto as a minor planet is scientific bullshit.)

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None if the Martian moons are round.

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- Someone redo this comic with Mars's tiny potatoes dwarfed by Moon's glorious, massive tide-inducing, rotation-slowing hugeness.
  
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