6 mo. ago • 98%

Sad

36 comments

first divide up your friends into infinitely smaller and smaller friends until you almost have zero friends

91
- l you almost have zero friends
  
  I'm already there!
  
  13
- Do you think an electric chainsaw will do and then transition to filet knifes or..?
  
  11
  
  chum is chums
  
  11
  
  Just put a small "D" before them
  
  3
- I put them back together and now I have 12 friends, now what?
  
  7
  
  Keep going. You need to approach zero friends.
  
  7
- Friendsymptote
  
  4
One time I had to buy 40 watermelons for a local festival, and ended up having to get them from the grocery store. Didn't want to bruise them, so I filled 4 carts up and made multiple trips to the checkout. For a moment there, I was the lady from all the math problems.

85
I know orgy-preparation math when I see one.

51
- Much better than that time Dave brought taco bell for everyone before the orgy
  
  19
  
  It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
  
  Fortunately we were at Daves parents house, so no cleanup.
  
  16
- I have a pen
  
  3
  
  Pen-pineapple-apple-pen. 🎉
  
  1
You cut one pineapple, share it with 6 friends, and goo around looking for people that want the other 36 ones. Or maybe reserve 2 others for cutting through the week, so you only have to find enough people to get 34 pineapples from you. (The closest supermarket from here doesn't keep as many in storage.)

Have your math classes in fundamental school teach you how to find people that want pineapples?

34
- goo around looking for people
  
  What does that entail? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  
  24
  
  Upsidedown pineapples
  
  12
6 people get 6 pineapples each, and you get the extra without mentioning it to anyone.

Alternatively, 7 people get five, and you keep the 2 extras because you went to all the work and they’ll never know.

But next time maybe try buying what you need instead….

33
- Who's the 7th person?
  
  2
  
  Your mom.
  
  (As in the problem solver's.)
  
  6
Letting her know you drank a bunch of pineapple juice before your date.

17
So you figure out the volume of pineapples by creating an equation for their shape, then divide it up.

17
- Easy, that’s just nRT/P, assuming the pineapple is an ideal gas.
  
  6
- Assuming the pineapples are a sphere rolling down a frictionless slope…
  
  5
I was at a networking event with work people. They had a big tray of fruit and cheese that included a whole, unsliced pineapple displayed on the center, not being used. The caterers thought my request was wacky, but agreed to let me take the pineapple. The people I was with shamed me out of taking it, and I reluctantly dropped the pineapple. The ordeal became something we still reminisce about. I found a random pineapple on my desk one day. And we share pineapple-themed pictures when we happen upon something.

This particular day, I hit the .

16
Just cut off 37/6ths of a pineapple for each of your friends.

10
Everyone gets 6 pineapples, except for you, you get 1.

7
Permanently Deleted

5
Who told you I'm eating only one pineapple?

5
You do that kind of arithmetic quite often if you work in a kitchen.

4
At some point I did feel like this in college.

1

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