Trump Pledges To Use Obscure 18th-Century Law To Marry Daughter
Trump Pledges To Use Obscure 18th-Century Law To Marry Daughter
PALM BEACH, FL—Outlining his ambitious plans for a potential second presidential term, Republican candidate Donald Trump reportedly made a pledge Thursday to use an obscure 18th-century law to marry his daughter. “We’re moving full steam ahead with ‘Operation Ivanka,’” said Trump, who credited his p...
Wow, this onion went down way too easily. I was fully ready to believe it.
76This is the first time I actually did a double take at an onion article lol. It got me good too.
27Sometimes we eat the onion long before it arrives.
2
Terrible attempt at satire, completely unbelievable.
Why would Trump ever worry about the law?
72He can't order anyone to force her until he's crowned by the Supreme Court.
Then he'll make it an Official Act.
4
Does she know? :o
36It's an 18th century law. Her knowing is irrelevant to him.
25Shh, don't spoil the surprise!
2If you think she doesn’t, you haven’t been paying attention.
1
To be clear, he doesn't want to marry his daughter. He wants to fuck her.
33It's sad that I actually needed to check to see if this was an Onion article or not
25Reads the title
Goes WTF
Goes back to reread the title in moderate disbelief
Notices the website is theonion
Fuck you onion, you almost had me the first time around!
5
Had me for a second until I realized that he wouldn't know 18th-century law.
12I mean in his defense... This is an onion article after all. It's only mostly believable.
11don't tell him about prima nocta....NO PRIMA NOCTA!!!
8wow, almost had me again!
6