7d ago

I was minding my own business rule

88 comments

There’s a guy on our dog walking route that put up several Trump flags last year. My wife and I actually wound up having an interaction with him because he was spying on us through his cameras and got mad that we referred to the flags as embarrassing and said that Trumpism was a cult.
By mid-April, he’d pulled down all the flagpoles and didn’t even take the flags off them, just laid the poles with flags wrapped around them in the dirt by his driveway.
In May I actually talked with him. Initially I had no intention of trying to be nice to him - he just had done something sort of shitty a few days before (encouraging his dog to bark at our dogs). I was going to be like “Look, if you wanna call me gay slurs over your ring camera, that’s fine, but don’t encourage your dog to be hostile to mine.”
But somehow he tied his dog to military service, and while I was fully prepared to connect the lack of a veteran license plate to his statement to call him a liar and a Reddit ninja, he fielded the license plate question and said that he’d suffered a TBI that resulted in an appreciable percentage of brain dying, and that made him unable to be rational when he felt any sort of threat or insult. So he didn’t use the military plates, because he’d had negative experiences with motorists while using them.
I don’t know if I believe that - it seems dumb on the part of the other motorists. But I’m not willing to keep pressing for the sake of picking a fight. I’ll throw a barb, but not over-extend myself. It’s just not worth it.
So I listened, and we chatted - for like an hour and a half. My wife left after a few minutes with the dogs. We talked about politics, the world, our community, and how fucked everything is. He supported Trump because of the 2016 (Obama) economy. He believes in women’s rights. He is conservative, anti-immigrant, and believes in stronger policing. I told him I believe in increased social support, so folks like him can get out of the VA benefits trap. I told him I think the way to stronger communities is through stronger schools and increased civic engagement - more pride, less punishment. He even asked if we’d be willing to help train his dog better, because he notices that ours don’t bark at other dogs, and don’t pull on their leads. I told him I’d have to think about it, and ask my wife, since she’s the one who really had the patience to get our dogs where they are.
We parted - not as friends - but certainly not as enemies. Just - neighbors with a better understanding of each other.
- Boss, as a vet, I also don't have vet plates. In my case, It continues to feel like pulling military benefits when I did the bare minimum as a job when the market was shit. I don't like pulling veteran's discounts at restaurants/stores/etc. either.
  
  That’s fair. To be honest, the thing that sort of put me back on my heels about him was learning about the TBI - that explained his pattern of behavior. However, I can definitely see the point about not wanting the recognition via the license plate, or the reminders of harder times.
  After months of a mostly one-way back and forth, I really just was looking to poke back at him and was grasping at low-hanging fruit in the moment. Kinda glad I saw an alternative option once it opened up.
  
  If they're the kind of boit lickers that would go down on tou for it, take what you can.
- My boyfriend keeps saying that America needs a strong leader who can unite the people across the political divide like Lincoln did. That Trump was a divider for all people and he spreads divisiveness and hate whereever he goes and that most of the divisiveness we have today is because of Trump. He took smaller issues and poured gasoline on them and now we are here.
  He says the way out of this nightmare is not a violent revolution, but a leader who can unite the people and bring focus back to building a society that is better for all.
  He doesn't want Americans to lose their humanity because of one insane asshole. I am sometimes in awe of his cold head and warm heart. I try to remind myself of his words whenever I hear the next new retarded thing Trump has done overseas and how it's gonna affect not just America but the rest of us too. I go a bit feral sometimes, ngl.
  
  strong leader
  So...
  doesnt want americans to lose their humanity
  Little late on that
  not a violent revolution
  Do you know the longest I've gone in the past week without hearing a flashbang in the distance? Thats because people are asking them to stop. I dont think it's working.
  cold head warm heart
  Oh honey...
  
  The problem is the flock of Trump-wannabes.
  Trump not only poured gasoline and lit the match, but he proved that outrage politics work. He proved that it’s ok to be blatantly dishonest, immoral, and corrupt, and there were no consequences. He proved you can ignore the Constitution and legal restrictions.
  And others in his party have copied that approach, and also found it working (admittedly to a smaller extent). I don’t see this approach going away
  
  Lincoln was president during what historians refer to as 'The Really Nice Times'
  
  My boyfriend keeps saying that America needs a strong leader who can unite the people across the political divide like Lincoln did.
  I think your boyfriend needs to read a history book... Two of the most famous events of Lincoln's presidency are the only Civil War in the US has ever had, and him getting shot in the back of the head by the opposition.
  Not saying either of those are Lincoln's fault necessarily...
- Champion! What a great story
  
  Possibly even "Best of Lemmy" material. This story took me for an emotional ride, and the ending provided water to the wilting sprig that's left of my hope.
  ETA I just decided to go for it. Let's see what Lemmy decides.
- My amygdala hates that that seems the most effective way out of all this. A lot of people are lost and angry and get mad when they feel threatened. Some, sure, are evil as evil can be for the sheer joy of cruelty. But plenty are small and angry and dont think anything can be better so they lash out and follow the strongmen.
  The dead won't care why they did it or that they change. But those who live because they change might just care that they do.
  All I know is fuck I got tired being the only [slur] a bunch of rural republicans ever met, and I'm fucking pissed I had to leave for the reason I did.
  
  I think fixing their shit isn't our place. It kind of can't be.
  Id really rather spend twenty hours talking to a thoroughly unpleasant piece of shit than half that staring through a scope and pissing into a bag, or twenty minutes cleaning the guillotine. I honestly would.
  And sometimes it works. I guess. But usually it's a waste of time. We don't have much of that left. And we mostly aren't the people they would be able to hear. I fucking hate this shit. I'm fucking great at talking to awful pieces of shit, i post fucking recreationally (no offense, dear reader. I don't mean you¹)
  ¹yes. Yes i do.
  
  The really funny thing is that I’m in a heterosexual couple. My wife is bi, but the closest I tread to the rainbow is polyamory.
  It’s not even a good insult!
  Oooh. I’m going to associate you with a group that has shown incredible resilience and generally embodies such dastardly values as embracing their true selves, seeking or building community, respecting each other, valuing mental health and self care, and living in defiance of what is expected of them.
  I’ve been given more insulting compliments.

The predictable conclusion of fucking around.
- God, that was a shitty night. The day after election day 2016 was horrible and I felt sick all day, but in 2024 it was a kind of grim numbness. I knew that what's happening now was coming and I felt so fucking powerless to stop it and hated my fellow Americans who voted for it (or didn't bother voting in states where it mattered) so much. Those last two things haven't changed.
  
  You might feel better that they definitely legally cheated with gerrymandering and voter restrictions, but they probably illegally cheated too. Both Trump and Musk implied that, I believe them.
  
  You remember the day after the 2016 election? I drank too much to remember anything else I might have done.
- Don't have the image, but
  'Have the day you voted for'

A friend of mine…didn’t vote. But she’s disproportionately impacted by these policies. Whenever she brings it up now I find I can’t respond. I don’t want to lose my friend, it’s important to me that we work through this and make better choices later. But it is so hard.
- Talk about the next vote and the protests in between. Going over mistakes might be satisfying in the moment but it's not productive.
  That said, I wouldn't hold myself back 🤷‍♂️
  
  Ive explained to her why she is about to lose her health insurance potentially. She’s low info, it’s crazy how apathetic many people are. But also…a shithole red state is all she has ever known. So it’s almost like she doesn’t believe things can be better even one state over.
- People won't do the absolute bare minimum to inform themselves, it's so aggravating. I see this in everything, not just politics. Please tell me there are more people slowly losing their mind and going mad over this.
  
  Apparently there are plenty of people who do not exist in a permanent state of wonder about the world around them. For me, that was harder to accept than it ought to be…ongoing battle as you can see with my friend here. But yeah, most people have a baseline that doesn’t include the need to be fully informed, I reckon. At least in my experience. Aggravating at times, disappointing, confusing…then again not having to experience those must be blissful.
- If the topic comes up again, ask her, "if you were really stupid, would you want somebody to tell you?" And no matter what she says, pokerface and change the subject or leave.
- Electoralism≠politics
  Maybe the way to connect woth your friend is by doing something more substantial?
- Ask her "What lesson have you learnt from all this?"
  
  Yep, and precede it with something like "I enjoy our friendship but I have to ask..."
  Put the emphasis on the friendship and how both can learn from it.

Has the removing of MAGA ornaments in shame become a widespread phenomenon?
- The few that I pass on my way to work are all still slowly fading in the summer sun.
  
  I regularly pass by a house with a giant "He Won" flag with string lights in the front window thats been there since 2020.

Meanwhile, I saw some asshole driving a cyberbrick yesterday. A lot of them are still proud of their identities as assholes.
- I see a lot of them around here (Bay Area) and I always glare angrily at them.
  
  I'm on the opposite coast, but I see them almost daily. The other day I saw one with a camper attachment on the back.
  ETA: Behold! The most uncomfortable-looking camper I’ve ever seen. On the plus side, if you’re struggling to start a camp fire, this thing could start it for you!
  
  I can't help myself but to laugh at those dumb ass dumpsters. They're even worse looking when they're moving somehow.
  
  When I spot them parked, I write "STUPID" on a post-it note and place it on the driver's side door.
- A cyber truck parked in my area. Out steps a 50yo woman. I live near an organic spa treatment place.
  All I did was give her a wtf face when she exited. And she rushed back to her vehicle when I saw her again an hour later.

Have the apocalypse you voted for.

Mine just shot at me, ymmv

They're not taking down the flags y'all are dreaming
- No, they definitely do take them down. They might put them back up though when shit doesn't affect them.
- They used to be a trump billboard and about 15 "fight" signs on my way to work. Now all there is just a store that just happens to also sell trump merch
  
  A house on a corner that I need to pass on my commute had a massive Trump flag facing the intersection, back during the election.
  Not long after, the massive flag was taken down. A smaller flag was put near the house.
  Now there's nothing.
  For a short time in-between, they did have signs up for local politicians. As someone who tries to actually research all the local candidates, it was convenient for me to know which candidates I didn't have to bother with.
- The neighbor who had a massive Trump sticker on his car no longer has that sticker.
  There was a RV camp on my way to work that has multiple Trump flags. It's gone now.

Sounds like a great opportunity for them to learn the lengths to which they're exploited and manipulated daily. Hopefully they take it.

notice how magats and the social media partially stopped talking about trans people.

These are caricatures. Politics flavored entertainment.

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