She's a witch!

For better or worse, if you weren't fat they wouldn't diagnose you properly either. I've been diagnosed with:

•Too skinny (this is particularly funny bc the complaint was fainting and both the low weight and fainting are from hyperthyroidism as I now know)

•Too tall

•'this is normal for young women' (if it were they'd all be unable to work traditional job)

•Psychosomatic ailment (depression on my medical record is the bane ofy existence)

•Just unlucky

•'this must be an unknown symptom of your existing illness'

•Lacking exercise (I do 2 hour long swims a week and walk 3-5k every weekday)

•Probably lying about the amount I drink (both water and alcohol)

Is this problem with only having male doctors, or do women doctors pull this bullshit too?
- I got kind of the opposite of that at the hands of a male doctor. "You can't have Long Covid, only women get it."
  But the female doctor I got after that wasn't much better. Third female one is at least taking me seriously.
  To have the fun of experiencing what doctors are like when you have a chronic illness play You're Just Imagining It.
- I had a female doctor, when told my joints hurt so much I couldn’t use my hands for basic tasks, say to me “Well what do you want ME to do about it??”
- I had a female doctor who loved to tell me I was too young to be experiencing the things I was experiencing. Like I had neck pain from an incident at work (which has been ongoing for like 10 years now) and she said "oh young people just look at their phones too much". I also had a reaction to a piercing and she was insistent that the problem was "piercings and tattoos are bad for you", yet when I swapped the ring out for a hypoallergenic one (no thanks to anything she had to say to me), it cleared up extremely quickly.
  But anyway, she was at least able to diagnose my PCOS, which a male doctor had prematurely diagnosed as "pregnant" so that was nice.
- Women doctors have NEVER given me real pain control for endometriosis pain, even in the ER. After my surgery (which I woke up during and literally it was as painful as the periods I'd been having), I was given 3 days of opiates and then nothing (took 2 months to fully heal, was extremely painful for 2 weeks).
  Meanwhile, one male ER doctor DID give me Robaxin one time as a muscle relaxer, and it was AMAZING. It took off that sharp edge of pain. I think he was very concerned about undoing stereotypes of male doctors and women's health. Love him, he is a good guy
I get the alcohol thing a lot too because I make a lot of ketones naturally and celiac can also mimic some of the physical signs of alcohol. Thing is, I CAN'T drink alcohol bc I have a gene that basically means I'm on an MAOI at all times - I would get a brain bleed and die if I drank. I get blood spikes and migraines from freaking too many beans or meat. It's probably why I've never liked alcohol to begin with.

This is gonna hurt someone's feelings, but doctors don't call people fat unless they're overweight. It's just that, as a society, we are fucking delusional about obesity and lie to ourselves and others constantly, distorting what a healthy weight even looks like.

Sure, but sometimes (a lot of the time, from the experiences of multiple women in my life) doctors use "you're overweight" as a thought terminating phrase and won't even begin to look at other possible illnesses or treatments other than "you're overweight, you need diet and exercise".
By all means, if obesity is impacting their health it is something that needs to be addressed as well. That doesn't negate other health issues that happen to be comorbid with obesity, though.
- Exactly this
- Regardless of gender, this is where doctors go if you are obese, because most of the time, it's because you are obese.
  Then of the patients that insist the obesity has nothing to do with it, some of them are right but the majority of those skeptics are wrong and just won't do the diet and exercise. It's hard if you try to take every one of those doubts seriously at first only to ultimately confirm the initial diagnosis over and over again in the patients they give a benefit of the doubt to.
  Body positivity was a warranted reaction to the drive to be underweight, but obesity is too far the other way. Being a touch 'overweight' while also being reasonably active seems to be the sweet spot health wise, but obesity can produce just all sorts of health issues that people don't want to admit are related.
- You could've stopped after the first word.
  Also, "if obesity is impacting their health" is delusional talk. Obesity always impacts health. There is no if.
Okay, but being fat isn't relevant to someone's broken arm or many other diagnoses, the point is that they act like it is the only thing when it is clearly not that.
- Being fat is a risk factor and a complicating for an alarming number of ~~considering~~ ailments. There's a reason why fat people get hammered at the doctors office about losing weight.
  HOWEVER, the obesity epidemic in the US and other Western countries is a result of a fucked-up food system and an urban planning system that encourages a sedentary lifestyle. Like, individuals can choose to be less fat on their own, yes, but we're not going to make progress on this issue as a society unless we agree to change the fundamentals causing the problem.
Hell, in my experience you have to be solidly obese before they will say anything, and even then only with something else to point to, like out of range liver enzymes, cholesterol, or sugar.
- I had doctors tell me to lose weight and eat more fiber - I was literally hypocalcemic and dying of celiac. They wouldn't address the celiac/conditions I was there for because I was obese (because I was starving from being severely malnourished from vitamin deficiencies due to malabsorption). I was shitting ONCE A MONTH on 10-20 fiber pills a DAY. I had microcytic anemia for years at this point. I had very low blood pressure (nurses ask me if I'm about to pass out). I was sleeping 18-23 hours a day. My normal body temperature was 93-95F (93F is hypothermia fyi), incl an episode on a hot day in the south inside my car in full sun with the heat on and me shivering.
  They kept telling me it was weight and needing to eat more fiber and exercise. I was, prior to this, someone who jogged every day and ate healthy btw and a normal BMI.
  I ended up getting my own genetic tests and diagnosing myself, later confirmed by a gastroenterologist. They use "you're fat" so they don't have to do their jobs and think further.
  Now at a normal BMI, I get simultaneously "You're too young for this," and "you're too old for this," and "You look too healthy for this," and still they do not give a FUCK about my celiac and barely understand it.

“Anxiety” is the 21st century hysteria. Then it goes into your record so other doctors can summarily dismiss you as “difficult.”

This. It’s literally what most people who report physical symptoms but the doctor can’t find anything get diagnosed as.
I usually hear "stress"

That was the 20th century that they skipped I guess. We as a whole got so overweight that by the 21st century we just started defending it.

I feel bad posting that recognizing your name also runs a wholesome community..

Haha it's fine
A friend of mine, who is just at the border of “normal” and “overweight” on the BMI scale, had a doctor refuse to remove a shard of glass from her hand until she lost 20 pounds. He said the surgery was too dangerous at her weight. There could be complications.
She ended up cutting her hand open and doing it herself.
- That seems strange, although depending on how tall she was weight diffentials get pretty small. Like if you are 5'5 or below the difference between obese and normal is under 25 pounds (small window for overweight) It's only 40 pounds at 6'5. People are always built differently though so it's weird. When I was in my best shape I was always considered overweight according to the BMI chart because I was between 5'10/5'11 and was always around 187 pounds. No doctor would have called me fat at that time because I ran 5-10 miles a day and could dunk a basketball with both hands, I was lean but density was just high. I don't know anything about surgeries but I would figure they have to do with blood pressure and clotting habits maybe? The doctor likely was just an ass, hopefully her hand healed up well. Pain in the ass medical field we have here.
Edit: apparently Wholesome and Lemmywholesome
Womensstuff? Strangest echo chamber I have ever seen since they accept AFAB Transmen and AMAB Transwomen but specifically exclude AMAB men. I get it, it's called women's stuff, but it's just as unwholesome as any "boy's club". I cringe every time I see the passive aggressive, warning/power trip when some supportive cisman comments. Just read her comment history for examples. Genderfluid peeps out there ducking the banhammer every other day.
Getting a lot of righteous indignation in my inbox. Femcel energy.
- The internet is male dominated and everywhere you see people talking from a point of male privilege. There is a single community that imposes measures so that it isn't and you are complaining that you can't write on there. Get a life. Cis men are not being oppressed by being barred from discussing on there, you got the entire rest of the internet for yourself.
- Wholesome and lemmybe wholesome, I don't meander into the others
- And you give Aunt Lydia pick me energy.

I get why doctors go straight to, "It's the fat." It's not fair, but it's understandable.

Put yourself in the doctor's shoes. The majority of people they see are fat. Don't believe it? Look around the waiting room. First time I realized this was a revelation. My old doctor serves almost exclusively senior citizens, who got to be seniors by not being fat. Now I go to other, closer offices and I'm often the only person in the room who isn't overweight. And there's always some morbidly obese person with a cast on their leg. Wonder how that happened?

Imagine how many cases they get in a week that are due to obesity, or aggravated by it. It's kinda like doing tech support where you think you already know what the problem is because you see it every damned day. "sigh... another one". If you're sincerely listening, you'll often catch yourself out! But docs now days gotta run us through the office like herding cattle.

They also have to talk to everyone like they’re a simpleton. I don’t like being on the receiving end of it, but I get it. I can only imagine how many people doctors see who have zero medical knowledge and need to gently be spoon-fed every bit of new information. It’s gotta be so frustrating, what with all the anti-science garbage filling society right now.
- Know why I'm good at tech support? I quickly gauge my audience's level of understanding and speak to it. Once you get a doctor that can do that, hang onto 'em tight!
  My doc rarely sees me, but after a minute or two she's dialed in to me personally. Best part? Old lady isn't afraid to give me her "stupid look" when I ask a dumb question. "Yeah, thought that's how it was."
  Had a young doc at CVS one day. Once he figured out I wasn't a dumbass redneck, merely a redneck, we had a 45-minute bullshit session where I learned quite a bit. Left me angry that we can't ALL sit down with a professional like that.
  anti-science garbage
  Got so frustrated taking my ex-wife to doctors for her first pregnancy, seeing all the vaccination posters and being harped on about shots and breastfeeding, finally popped on a nurse:
  "Look. We're not retarded. She's breastfeeding as long as possible and hit the kid with whatever vaccines are called for at whatever age. Just do it."
  Look on her face was like Will Smith seeing that alien's head grow back. I felt bad, but my frustration that they have to even talk that way! And fuck me, all the talk I hear now days about "evidence based" treatments. "Yeah! That's how medicine works! I got it!"
Add to that half the time someone who is obese and complains of an ailment, let's say muscle pain, they are adamant that it's not the weight. Because the weight is hard to deal with and they need it to be easy.
So yes, someone unfairly has a complaint without being properly heard, but it's in a chorus of people that just won't accept that their obesity is a problem.
- Right on. Legit complaints are drowned by the "it's not the fat" crowd.
No, they don't, and that's a horrific way to practice medicine.
Everyone is unique with unique diet, environmental pressures, and genes. We are not cattle.
Also, we have a working medical model for this - veterinary medicine, esp non-corporate vet med. No vet is looking at an obese dog without ordering a thyroid test at minimum and looking further. Only in human med do we blame the patient like this
- Didn't say it was proper practice, said I understood it.

Oooh that hits.

I went to a doctor for a refill on ear infection medication. That's right a REFILL, for something that had been previously diagnosed by another doctor. I told him this, so many fucking times.

Nope. I had Covid.

"Sir, I just need a refill."

He just screamed at me, in broken English. "NO, YOU HAVE COVID. GO!"

I did not have Covid. I didn't even have a cough, a sneeze, or anything. My ear was in pain, and I couldn't hear hardly at all... and yah know... it was fucking bleeding.

I did not get the medication he prescribed me. I got ear drops from behind the counter and took allergy meds and then hopped for the best.

Brother, you didn't even have to examine me. I told you what was wrong. You could've gone home early!

Therapy today is expensive and taxing, Not having to work on yourself sounds relaxing. Instead of evolving and changing your ways, You go to the doctor, they make you come and then your husband pays!

Source: Hysteria by Riki Lindhome

Ah, one half of Garfunkel and Oates. She is excellent!!

They diagnose everyone as fat, though. Unless you're a smoker or drinker in which case that gets the mark first. Unless there's any hint of "drug use" ever.

Unless you're underweight, in which case the solution to everything is to eat more. Yes, doctor, I am skinny, but I don't think has anything to do with me asking to get on minoxidil.
- To be fair, poor diet can contribute to hair loss.

Don't forget that in the 14th century if you fixed what the doctor couldn't diagnoses you are called a witch. Usually by telling people to eat their vegetables instead of live entirely off of organ meat

Organ meat is actually kinda good for you if it's varied.
Like, if you're doing full carnivore, that's how you avoid dying long term. But you need to be really deli;erate about it, like going vegan.
- I was just saying that telling someone to stop eating only liver and kidneys and instead eat something green to cure their gout would likely get you labeled a witch.

Find a doc like my old one. She's 65 and talks like a burnt out, grizzled cabbie. Listens close, takes questions seriously, isn't afraid to give you her "stupid look" if you deserve it.

Her clinic got bought out by the giant regional health gangsters, so she can no longer make decisions according to her professional opinion, gotta go with the gangster's policies. Had to quit going.

But hey! We got Obamacare yesterday! Now if I can find a new doctor...

I get the point but...

When you're a woman and well over 100kgs, don't complain about your doctor telling you that you need to lose weight.

It's not sexism

It's not discrimination based upon your weight

Nobody is telling you that you're ugly

It's not a macho thing where only skinny women are desirable

It's about your life, how long it will last and how much you'll be able to enjoy it. It's about your own health, please listen to your doctor and try to lose weight.

That's not what OP is criticizing, heavy women come to the doctor with genuine health issues (which may be exacerbated by weight), and instead of addressing the actual problem, the doctor just tells the pt it's caused by weight.

There's also catchall terms used for things they still don't really understand, like fibromyalgia.

Clearly Bipolar.

There are 19,102 women's health centers in the US. There are 233 men's health centers in the US.

Yeah, our society totally doesn't care about women's health 🙄

Medicine has always assumed a male patient, which is why it's redundant to call something a men's hospital and why it's necessary to specify a women's health center. Women are the "other" under patriarchy, and men the default.
Women weren't even included in clinical trials in the US until 1993.
read more here:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women's_health
Simone de Beauvoir's Second Sex covers a lot of ground about women being the "other" in case you wanted more on that.
- Beautifully executed.
That's because western medicine is based on ancient Greek medicine, where women formed their own bodies of medicine for childbirth separate from the male doctors. The male doctors were HEAVILY involved in the military, so much of their medicine was written down and preserved. A lot of women's medicine did not survive the Dark Ages for this reason, so medicine as a default became synonymous with "men's medicine." That's also why the birthing position changed for women - men took over their medical jurisdiction over childbirth.
Of course, women have a lot more women specific health issues than men have men specific health issues, so it makes sense.
There are certain areas where, as I understand, women are less diagnosed when they should be compared to men (e.g. heart conditions), but in other areas both men and women face a doctor shrugging and moving on rather than arriving at a diagnosis.
- I went to the ER because I woke up with extreme period pain at 4am. Thought my IUD and perforated my uterus, it was so painful. I was givej nothing for the pain, not even Robaxin. Meanwhile, my ex right before that woke up weird and his neck was sore, went to urgent care and they gave him Robaxin for 2 weeks. Lol.
  I ask for anxiety meds for IUD placement and get nothing. My ex had dentist anxiety and was given Xanax.
  I ask for low dose estrogen, denied. My ex asks for hormones incl finasteride (which increases estrogen in men....) and gets it.
  They deserve treatment too ofc, but like, it isn't the same.