Dissociative Daze

I'm not claiming you're anything, but I've heard similar thoughts from trans people while they were still figuring stuff out.

I consider my body to be a meat puppet. Maybe I’m one of those lil MIB dudes

Interesting. I don't recall ever feeling this way. What I see in the mirror I feel as being me. I find it fascinating how different people think and experience existence. People should talk about that stuff more.

Yeah kind of. When I look at myself on the mirror there always the feeling of "oh yeah that's what I look like", because that's not how I perceived myself. My "me" isn't a body.

I don't typically feel this way, no. It's kind of like playing a video game where you forgot you're holding a controller and so you just like, go around enacting your will on stuff, without really thinking about it.

It's common for schizoids, for example. Personally, I've noticed that it's more likely to happen the more social contact I've had. Generally I feel a disconnect with my reflection and if I need to look in the mirror when getting dressed or doing my hair I just avoid eye contact. .

At work, if I catch my reflection in a shiny bolt or something while I'm working on a bike, I flinch and have to look away, it makes me feel so uncomfortable.

I also get that floating feeling when having to talk to customers, like it's not me and I'm observing someone else from a distance.

I do feel like this at all times. :)

Have you ever heard of depersonalization? Maybe give this article a read and see if anything resonates?

Out of curiosity, have you always felt like this, ever since you were a child? I remember I only started feeling this third person sensation in my early teens. Like, I'd look in the mirror, and think, "who the hell is this guy and what did he do to the real me?" (well, not literally of course). I don't think this is something uncommon, I remember seeing a meme that went like

Me: Looks in the mirror
[thanos image macro]
Inner Child: I don't even know who you are

And that's pretty much how I feel

I also have a theory that this is more common among men than women, since women spend more time in front of the mirror (because makeup) and because women look nice, whereas men are generally ugly and therefore don't enjoy being "inside" their bodies (I mean unless you're FtM)

I haven't tried mirrors and acid but have you done mirrors in dreams? Because don't.

I love that feeling, it's strange but fascinating to see my face melt and age like that, if you look for long enough you might even feel like your reflection is falling at you

Notably, this didn't happen to me yesterday. I saw my reflection for a moment in a window while at work and was surprised to see myself. The person I am inside my head never had a face; the image I saw in the mirror was like a mask I'd always been wearing and couldnt take off.

I don't know why it happened exactly when it did, I've been transitioning for over a year now, but it's really fucking satisfying to finally take the "mask" off and see myself.

It's honestly similar to how it felt when I changed my name. Like this barrier between my 'self' and the physical world being torn down. Like taking a full breath for the first time.

Dysphoria is real and it sucks, and I wish that nobody had to experience it. What made the biggest difference for me, even before I could socially or medically transition, was just finally allowing me to address my own self as a boy, just in my own thoughts or in writing or art. That was the hardest thing for me, but also the most freeing.

I dunno where I'm going with this, just rambling at this point. But just in case it needs to be said, you are real and fucking resilient, you matter, and you're not alone. ⁠♡

"Are you

...

Me?"