7 mo. ago • 91%

What's a funny incorrect use of a word or phrase that always makes you laugh?

45 comments

The other day, I heard "Embrace yourself!". Instead of "brace yourself". I think I prefer that version

31
- Plenty of compassion there, I like it.
  
  4
Demo is used as an abbreviation for both demonstration and demolition. Usually it's pretty obvious which one is intended, but every time I hear someone say "demo" I try to imagine what kind of chaos would result if the wrong usage was assumed.

29
- "We're having a demo in the break room in five minutes people!"
  
  5 min later
  
  Boom!
  
  "OMG why are there so many dead bodies? I told everyone to stay clear of the break room!"
  
  9
  
  Now lets go to the staff meeting (bring your own staff).
  
  3
Had a coworker whose first language was not English. His English was good, but some coloquialisms went over his head. At one point, I had to explain the difference between a "butt dial" and a "booty call."

25
- Down pack instead of down pat. I got it all down pack.
  
  5
- "Ah yes, sorry for call you so late yesterday, was just booty call, no worry"
  
  2
Specific/Pacific.

You have to be Pacific.

You mean specific?

Yeah, that's what I said: Pacific.

In my family we now call it the Specific Ocean.

20
- I thought specific was what I heard on TV as a child, until I came across the spelling somewhere.
  
  3
- My coworker says pacifically where she means specifically.
  
  2
These are usually eggcorns

Anyway, there was once a joke on Friends, where - to massively paraphrase - Joey said 'the point is moo ... not even the cows care about it'. I sometimes use 'moo' instead of 'moot' just 'cos it amuses me.

17
- My wife and I will sometimes tell each other "your point is moo" when we disagree on something, and if they insist we just start mooing at each other.
  
  3
- ‘Cause it a-moooses you?
  
  3
- "It's like, a cow's opinion. It's moo!"
  
  2
It's a doggy dog world.

17
My friend used to go to the store and ask the clerk if they had any cosmopolitan ice cream.

10
- Similarly, I like when I hear someone ask for Napoleon ice cream.
  
  "You'll have to try invading Russia during the winter for that flavor."
  
  5
  
  In Soviet Russia, ice cream screams for you.
  
  3
In German, my mom often says igelhaft instead of ekelhaft. She loves hedgehogs though.

10
I had a boss one time that would say "feast or fathom" instead of "feast or famine".

9
- I find that cute!
  
  2
  
  You would till it's overtime you don't want to put in.
  
  5
This might not be exactly what you’re asking, but my daughter calls marshmallows “marsh pillows.” And they will now forever be marsh pillows to me.

8
- I will also call them that now.
  
  3
- My Diabetus Pillow
  
  2
Rickyisms. Water under the fridge, worst case Ontario etc.

6
During a cycling workout, the instructor said “our destination is breathless” as a motivator to really push hard. I thought she said “our destination is breakfast” and honestly, I prefer my version.

5
My Polish mate, who's English was pretty good but still had a noticeable Polish accent, was asking me about some weird pronunciation of a word or I corrected him in something.

He said "Ah Potato, Tomato. Doesn't matter". I burst out laughing, some guy actually tried to correct him on it.

I also like "We will burn that bridge when we get to it".

4
A Wikipedia Editor Has Spent Years Removing 47,000 Incorrect Uses of 'Comprised Of' - Yahoo News

4
- pedant doesn't understand what a living language is
  
  2
  
  Language is the only thing in the universe that has meaning.
  
  2
- I had to look up what was wrong with it and still it seems like a very minor difference. But hey, I spend my time playing video games, who am I to judge what is worthy of one's time.
  
  1
I love singing love songs and replacing the word You with Poo

4
- Same here, and me with wee
  
  3
  
  Which makes The Last Goodnight's song Pictures Of You so much fun to listen to.
  
  2
Old timer's disease

3
Nip it in the butt.

It’s nip it in the bud, bud.

3
My kids call McDonald's "Old McDonald's".

"Can we go to Old McDonald's pleeeease?! 🥹" 🥰❤️

Obligatory: we rarely go if ever, generally just on road trips when we don't want to stop, and even less since they declared war on their traditional lower to middle class base by raising their profits insanely over the last few years, conceded they were doing so, and the CEO basically said "the little people can eat a dick, we're bougie now."

But the kids sure are cute 🥰

2
"Very unique"

"My work" when referencing a place of business.

These less make my laugh than cry though.

1
'Emails'. Except it's a mean laughter and I wish they would stop.

1
"Seize the day"

I imagine people are being told to have a seizure

1
Go watch some YouTube (channel: that’s a bad idea).

1
I'm a Briton living in the Netherlands; I've lost count.

1

You've viewed 45 comments.