???

Some people like to hover to avoid touching the seat... And this is what happens if you hover.

56

And that's why people want to avoid the seat in the first place...

26
i wonder how people like this existed in the ancient world where all toilets were not only communal but had no privacy.

12
- You only spray poop on someone once.
  
  Then you get told, and never do it again.
  
  10
- In Rome, slaves would go into the bathroom to sit on the seat to warm it up so that your own personal butt cheeks did not have to touch cold stone.
  
  I imagine the slaves would also be used to clean the toilet seat when you were done as well.
  
  Possibly different slaves:-).
  
  4
That was me many years ago.

At some point I learned/realized how the pros and cons stacked up -

Pros:

komfee

Cons:

404

(Provided, I do have a pre-sit wipe policy evertim)
4

we had a similar sign. it was required due a large number of contractors from india who didn’t use toilets in .. appropriate ways

34

That sounds like they were molesting the toilets.

5
Nah it's the western nations that use the toilet wrong. Sitting to poop is bad for you. It killed Elvis! You should have provided a squatty potty.

1

bathroom regulations are written in poop

32

OSHAT will come down on you hard

15

Easy. Someone of a different culture was standing on the toilet seat because there are cultures with holes in the ground and that's basically the toilet.

Likely the person was unaware how to handle the situation.

21

Common in plenty of places

16
- I hate squatters. They're common in France, too, or at least were 30 years ago.
  
  12
- I actually prefer these. No dirty seat, most flush like normal, and for my anatomy at least, the squat position keeps everything clean. Like it's the way we were meant to go. Can't imagine trying to balance on the rim of a bowl, though. Anyone confused by western toilets must think we're nuts.
  
  4
- I would never be able to use these.
  
  Not because of their nature, but because I would have to Slav squat to get into the correct position. And even at my thinnest, I have never been able to Slav squat without turtling over backwards.
  
  I can only squat while perched on the balls of my feet, which require them to be much closer together and produces a much more upright position, putting any pants and underclothes that I have rolled down directly in the path of any brown bombs.
  
  3
Confirmed. Saw plenty of signs like this in Japan. Not quite so... graphic with the shitnado, but same spirit.

14

You ever been into a stall at a concert or sporting event? There’s almost always a toilet like this. People are monsters.

17

I've volunteered at them. One particularly interesting (and thankfully paid) just was washing out the portapotties (from way back, with a pressure washer). I've seen things that shouldn't be humanly possible, how does one shit on the ceiling?

16
- Oh, on the ceiling was almost certainly a drunken wiping accident. Wipe, inspect fingers, discover ¾ of your turd on your hand, wildly flail until clean.
  
  7

16

Somebody did this at our place.

The poor cleaning ladies took one look, then went out for a ten minute fag break to draw straws. It had been done just before the weekend and this was a Tuesday, so they almost needed the pressure washer.

They blamed one of the fat lads for it, but fat lads don't hovershit. This was the work of a younger man, unaccustomed to the feeling of unfriendly porcelain upon his virgin cheeks. Suddenly caught short and needing to do his first workplace poo, but also unable to accept that his bottom might have to go where other bottoms had boldly gone before.

13

Some international folks are used to squatting. I've seen (don't ask how) people squat with their feet ON the toilet seat. That's how this happens I bet.

4
- Yep, that's exactly what happened when I was on escort duty for recently recruited Iraqi police. And my god the result looked exactly like second stick figure image in the OP. I'm glad cleaning it up wasn't part of my job.
  
  I also watched a guy reach into a urinal and use the urinal cake as hand soap. I feel kinda bad that I didn't stop him, but he did it with such speed and confidence that it was the right thing to do, it was too late by the time I realized what was happening.
  
  6

Ooh I have a story I can tell. Once I had to pee extremely bad while I was at the grocery store. I run to the bathroom essentially kick the door open and immediately stop. You know those illusions where if you look at it from a specific angle you can see a perfect shape drawn on through multiple surfaces? Imagine that but with this toilet. From a certain angle it looks like somebody shotgun blasted a perfect circle around the toilet. Sprayed on the seat, the wall, the tank and the floor. To this poor fuckers credit there was a singular wipe streak across the back of the toilet seat but looks like he promptly gave up. Then the smell hit me, my nose hairs inverted inward. For a fraction of a second i said fuck it I really need to pee, but I wasn't a couple inches into the bathroom before I just slammed the door shut and walked away. The smell stuck with me for hours.

13

My friend works at a fast food place and they said it's amazing how many people will just shit everywhere.

It's like a daily occurrence.

13

When I was a dishwasher at Cracker Barrel it was my job to clean the bathrooms during the day. Once I was called to the ladies' room to clean it, and it looked like not only did she bend over, but spin in a circle while spraying shit everywhere. It coated the floor and five feet up the walls.

I would have loved for the bathroom to have this sign.

9

I don't think it would have helped.

2

Dear Lord,

Please save us all from this fucking shit.

Amen.

9

Ironically enough, hypochondriacs who don’t want to touch the seat while shitting. So they crouch over it, and rarely in as vertical a position as when sitting directly on it.

8

~~hypochondriacs~~

*germaphobes

FIFY

4
For some reason I always thought it was just assholes.

1
- technically it's always assholes
  
  7

I'm guessing OP never had explosive diarrhea that you barely managed to get to the toilet!!! Then again normal people clean after themselves so the sign being there means that some assholes are going to that place!

6

The fact that an alarming number of people leave shit all over the bowl and even seat. Almost like they shit hovering over it

5

Almost like they shit hovering over it

Yeah, that's what they do. Ive seen multiple women admit to it when the topic of how gross their bathrooms are and I've SEEN men drunkenly fall over while doing it while in there for my own uses at some events

When I say seen I mean I'm using the urinal and a guy goes in and clearly never touches ass to sear, then falls over. Sure, drunk people CAN fall off a seat, but not that often

2

Imagine having explosive diarrhea and getting into a toilet stall and worrying you're gonna shit your pants... and someone has pissed all over the seat.

I'd make a big mess because of the last guy's little mess.

5

Every rule and sign needs more than one occurrence

5

Toilet seats should default to up when there's no force on them. Like with a rotation spring or a counterweight.

4

That used to be a thing. The Crapper Toilet company used to have a sprung toilet seat. It was of mixed success. The rubber stops on the bottom of the seat were made of natural rubber. As the rubber oxidized it would get sticky. This led to the seat sticking to the bowl for a moment. Then spring up and hitting you in the ass as you stood up. It gained the name the crapper clapper.

Mostly though do you really want a seat sliding up your ass as you stand up?

6
- Couldn't one just hold it down while standing up?
  
  1

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet and shit on the outside of the urinus

https://youtu.be/bjVNOGEWzv4?si=_JWitI-_8VnwuaLa

4

#unexpectedletterkenny

4

Taco Bell

3

2

You'd be fucking amazed at the vile shit (literally) some MFs will do in a bathroom.

2

It's called Wednesday morning at the grocery store near Taco Bell.

2

Imagine a far future archaeologist lizard person uncovering this and thinking this is the Rosetta Stone like key to deciphering our long dead language.

2

Sorry 😞

2