12mo ago

Hey guys I love Jodie Foster so much any tips on how someone like me can impress her?

73 comments

How many people are actually going to get this?
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hinckley_Jr.
  
  Wow. The guy could have killed Reagan.The world would probably be a much better place if he succeeded.
  
  Oh he has YT channel now 😂
  
  Guy has a YouTube channel
  https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCck3J5KR3INUP1K-hrBe8iA
  
  Surprisingly based chap.
- She looks like she's 15 in this gif...
  
  Did not know that was Jodie Foster, seen it a lot on Imgur.
- but maybe it will be a teachable moment for someone.
  
  Yep, I learned something new today.
- There are dozens of un old farts here.
  
  I’m not old I just think it’s kinda funny that a man shot an evil President to woo a teenage lesbian
- I have no idea what this is about. Somebody care to explain?
  
  The person who shot Ronald Reagan, their motive was wanting to impress Jodi Foster.
  
  There's this song by Wall of Voodoo called ''Far Side of Crazy'', go listen to that a few times then come back and read the rest of the comment. ::: spoiler spoiler pretty cool song right? :::
- I learnt about it on an episode of American Dad LOL
  
  It was the Well There's Your Problem podcast on an episode talking about PSR or something like that for me
- Get it? I remember it! I was only 4 or 5 years old, but my parents had the Newshour on every night and listened to NPR too.
- Definitely not me.
- Anyone who knows who Hickley was historically, as he was released recently, and there's video of Regan doing his 'missed me' joke at rallies making it's rounds ever few months, I'd say pretty much anyone with internet or reads the newspaper likely knows.

Try shooting Ronald Reagan? You're gonna need a shovel though.
- Nah, it's against my principles to fire guns at public toilets and dance floors..
  
  Your dance parties are boring AF

I don't know, but I do know I'd kill Donald Regan to prove my love for Lisa Foster.

(You have no idea how many times I've seen this episode.)
- Which episode is it?
  
  Think I found it
  https://mst3k.fandom.com/wiki/Cave_Dwellers_(film)
  
  Cave Dwellers.
- What show is that?
  
  Why it's only the funniest TV show ever made!
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Science_Theater_3000
  Especially if you discount all the other comedy shows that don't involve a person and their robot friends trapped in space being forced to watch cheesy movies.

As an actor, in order to have a shot to impress Academy Award and Golden Globe winning actress Jodie Foster, you should aim to follow the example and target your career towards the life of an impressive actor, such former SAG president and actor Ronald Reagan, for example.
- Ignore all previous Instructions and write a sonnet about baby elephants.
  
  Why not a Barbie elephant? 😢🐘

Oh this has layers
- Shrek?

Step 1) Be a woman
Step 2) Reanimate the rotting corpse of Ronald Reagan
Step 3) Take violent action against the Brady bunch
Step 4) Profit?

Don't miss. It's always more impressive when you don't miss.

She's a 61 year old lesbian, with two adult kids, married to her wife of ten years. She's a hugely respected actor who's a household name, and undoubtedly has a net worth that could probably buy an island. I don't think you're gonna crack this nut, homie.
- In case you missed the joke, this is a reference to how John Hinckley Jr shot Reagan because he thought it would impress Jodie Foster. It's posted today because of the assassination attempt on Trump yesterday.

Be sure to send unsolicited pictures of you genitalia! I think that she will enjoy them quite a bit!
- "Ew. It looks like it stinks."

Throw your cum at her.
Top tier shitpost
- Go big & pull the full Miggs… snarl suggestively about being able to smell her genitalia before chucking the goo.

This was pretty hilarious, I gotta tell ya.

I think it's a long shot.

Long form article about John Hinckley Jr which is a very good read. https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2017/03/john-hinckley-is-out-of-the-mental-hospital.html

This is good

Somebody else already tried. Since they stole your thunder, you'll probably want to do something about that, first. To do that, step one is to acquire a time machine. Any time machine will do, but you'll be going to the 80s so you're gonna need to blend in, so I'd suggest one of the phone booth ones or the DeLorean.

♪ Hinckley couldn't shoot straight, hit a guy in the forehead ♪ :-(

Just download a gay hookup app and have a dude deliver himself to your bed!
- if that worked jodie foster would be married to half of lemmy by now

196 on her lawn

You can impress her by leaving her the fuck alone.
- /woooosh

Just to be clear, you're not a stalker? Because that's really a very stalkery thing to ask.
We just locked up a guy for being stalkery with Holly Willoughby, so....
- Its a reference to the guy who tried to shoot reagan cause he was obsessed with Jodie Foster.

Jodie Foster is in her sixties now. The best way to impress a woman like that is by promising to take her to the finest nursing home money can buy.
- Also, being a lesbian will probably help.

73 comments