Anon watches nature documentaries

This is depressingly accurate.

136

Wow, those were the exact words I thought

14

Now stretch it over twenty minutes, with constant repetition of the few known facts, ad "breaks" with a short reminded of what happened beforehand...

It's been a few years and I still wanna throw my phone off the window watching it : The Gift Shop

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Was about to post this: the unedited version at the end being included makes me think this came out of a David Mitchell rant

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Remember the show "Connections" from the BBC and they would take some technology like a steam coal shovel and explain how that somehow resulted in a series of cause and affect conditions that made the moon landing possible. It was like an hour of being spoon fed all this fascinating material in depth.

TV content used to be more nutritious for your brain. Then somehow everything became just pure fried sugar devoid of any beneficial or meaningful content. Why does everything end up being reduced to the lowest effort schlock?

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- Capitalism. I mean, probably. Sadly I'm reduced to getting all of my information from 3hr video essays these days so I'm a tad biased.
  
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- That's "cause and effect"
  
  Affect is about appearance: she effected an affect of indifference
  
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They captured it perfectly

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Annon or American documentary? /s

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- First one then t' other.
  
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British character on British TV:

"you alright, man? My mum said you'd been feeling a bit down and could use a talk."

British character on US TV:

"Cor blimey, guvnor! Me mam gave us a right old bollockin' on that you'd bin down in the dumps and could use a jolly ole shot in the arm! Roger roger! Say no more!"

61

Reality:

"What's up mate?"

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- "Alright?"
  
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OI OMELUNDAH YOU CUNT!

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- CUNT'S TAKEN ME BLOODY SON! OL SOUPS MUSS DIE!
  
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Reality:

"What's up mate?"

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British TV has to tone it down because British people get offended and think that the characters are just cartoonish stereotypes. Their US portrayal is more accurate because they don't have to tone it down.

Edit: britoids offended because I told the truth.

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- "embracing your Britishness abroad" is just a euphemism for feeling homesick to the point of delirium
  
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- Yep, completely right we all talk like that all day and don't notice. That's why we notice it sounds weird when we see people speaking completely normally in US shows.
  
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As an American, I wanted to read this but I got distracted and then bored because it's just text.

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As an American I never learned English. Why would I, when everyone in my country speaks American?

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I call BS, the part you’re lampooning is near the end! You’re a big fat phony!

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I call fake on the American one. Where’s the advertisement? Where’s the product placement and the political propaganda?

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THE MANTIS WON BECAUSE IT HAD THE ELECTROLYTES GRACIOUSLY PROVIDED BY BRAWNO! BRAWNO: IT'S GOT WHAT PLANTS CRAVE!

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- They used a big word: "graciously"
  
  They must be the smartest person on the planet! Make them president!!!
  
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Where's the 3dcg render that shows a human being performing the same feats as the Mantis

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This may be American TV, but I read that whole thing with an Australian accent

41

Only Steve Irwin did that shit with animals, and it was fucking irritating.

6

Forgot the 5 minute long scene in the British documentary where the animals are shagging each other

32

Anyone ever see that French? documentary where snails fuck to opera in slowmo? Good shit.

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- This was also David Attenborough for the BBC. lol
  
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The bottom one only plays on sunday afternoons one episode after the other preceded by America's Funniest Home Videos reruns on ABC Family or w/e the channel name is now.

29

I haven’t watched proper TV in 20 years so I honestly don’t know whether this is actually happening in peoples’ homes. The discovery merger lends too much credence to the possibility. Which reality show completed the enshitification of an already extremely enshitified service? Was it duck dynasty that set the trajectory for [current year]?

13
- Non primetime television has probably been garbage for longer than it wasn't. Only difference is that some of the shows they play nonstop were considered good or at least good for background fodder. My mom, for instance, needs something like cable to have on in the background for noise because a streaming service or my hard drive full of shows and movies gives her choice paralysis but putting on reruns of Castle yet again is easy.
  
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I cannot watch any Netflix documentary. They're all like this.

16

The Octopus Murders is quite good, but its also not a nature documentary.

I should note that my wife will binge "MerPeople" for hours at a time. But she got about fifteen minutes into Octopus Murders and threw up her hands upon discovering its mostly about SQL Databases.

2

Both these styles of documentary are on Disney+. We watched one called Crazy Predators Gone Wild! or whatever but the joke wore thin quite quick and we had to go back to one narrated by Charles Dance.

14

Does this apply to (political) news as well?

And ... is this also how other nations perceive British TV, like Brits do the USs TV?
(And in turn USA TV like an unfocused ferengi ad campaign that is absolutely 100% into selling whatever is on screen, regardless of facts or even if it needs selling at all, just bcs the selling itself, the up-in-your-face marketing attitude is expected or the program just isn't deemed serious bcs they obviously aren't trying enough?)

Im really saddened when really good (British too) documentaries use more and more fake sounds added in, just because (its cool, nice & pleasant even, but not the raw data I want to heart & learn how that actually sounds). Especially in cases where there is og sound to be heard. And they blend both interchangeably so it's even harder to tell.

Even worse are the semi-serious documentaries that have experts explain stuff, simplified but still accurate, then followed by some other 'for TV scientists' (not from that field) that retell the same thing, but with a few wild assumption added in and at least slightly imprecise (but no new information otherwise).

However, I also hugely sympathise with everyone involved, from field experts that researched & often documented the thing, down to someone writing the script just to stand helplessly and listen how someone else completely rewrites it 'to be more interesting'. And knowing that it has to be done this way to get the thing even produced and out to the public.

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Kind of. At least it used to. When I was doing offshore rotation little over a decade ago, we had two news channels onboard. BBC vs CNN. I remember them having the exact same difference in style, and CNN annoyed the fuck out of me.

"Knock off the CGI, I just want to learn what's up with the Chilean miners, or what this new terrorist organization in the middle east is".

I had a discussion with a coworker about this during commercial break, where I argued that BBC had more actual substance, where he argued for CNNs ability to make it more entertaining. Guess the nationality of my coworker.

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- Is it even news if the CGI never happened?
  
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And every video edit should be a camera pan, accompanied by a"whoosh" sound.

8

PBS Eons vs PBS Terra

6

I miss when educational TV was actually educational.

6

The TV show MANSWERS in a nutshell

6

Learned how suppository a hand grenade into prison from MANSWERS

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- I swear, that TV show felt like a military recrutment tool. I know the US military has some influence in Hollywood, so I would not find it too shocking.
  
  Also, targeting mainly men who watch a lot of TV and don't have much of a future or life would make a great demographic for military recruitment.
  
  Also, BOOBS FARTS, BOOBS FARTS, BOOBS FARTS! MANSWERS!!!
  
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Permanently Deleted

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