I'm buying frozen pizza from now on rule

I’ll do it again

76

I hope the sauce burned your Giant Floppy Cock and you had to deal with burnt, loose skin lile the roof of your mouth....but on your Fían Floppy Cock

16

The garlic butter container slid across the pizza while the cheese was still liquid.

Or the person pushed it through and took the picture.

Or there was a massive air bubble.

66

Or someone slapped their cock on it.

103
- Or that.
  
  21
- Look for the guy with a burnt cock.
  
  20
- I don't think so, the way the displaced cheese is thicker by the presumptive tip means that at best someone slid their cock on it!
  
  19
Get the fuck out of here with your logic

11
- I'm a blast at parties, let me tell you.
  
  14
My scientific brain would think those other possibilities.

Or someone slapped their cock onto the pizza.

4

45

That "pizza" explains why Americans call it pie.

41

You people eat this mess and call it pizza?

It looks fucking diseased.

22
- Fuck no.
  
  Sincerely,
  
  New York
  
  23
- Definitely not Papa John's. It is the loosest definition of pizza. Below even Chicago Deep Dish.
  
  My favorite Papa John's memory (because if you're an American, you've been forced to eat this slop at some point) is we had an On Call shift for NCAA events (I worked at a sports site) so they ordered us pizzas, donuts, salads, the spread since we'd be there until 3am. This was three days after Papa John himself had to resign for saying gamer words. His face, prominently featured on all the boxes, had been replaced by a "Now Hiring" sticker in an inconsistent manner, which led me to believe the employees at the kitchen had some feelings about the guy...
  
  12

For all I know, you taking the pic could've done it

24

Taking a pic doesn't affect the subject that much!

7
- Quantum mechanics would like a word
  
  12

If this goes viral, I remember that racist, fanatical republican arschloch who used to do the commercials and realize I would probably not cry if his Papajohn stonk tanks.

18

~~IIRC, that dude got fired for asking a PR rep "why can't I say n----r?" in a call that got leaked.~~

//edited for specific details because it's way funnier

So he had been publically pushing against the NFL protests like a racist, and people didn't like it. The company hired a PR firm to help, and in a conference call with them he was whining about wokism or whatever and defended himself by claiming that, "Colonel Sanders called blacks n----rs." The call audio was promptly leaked

He resigned. Three days later the Papa John's cancelled the lease on his office and had him evicted lmfao. Within two weeks they implemented a policy that if John ever tries to buy more stock, all other stockholders can buy stock at half off to prevent him from ever controlling the company. Dude got fuckin razzmatazzed by his own pizza corporation.

Their pizza is still overpriced, dry, and bland tho.

12
- Oh my goodness, that epilogue to the events in question is like a rich and creamy dessert, I had no idea the repercussions were so swift and severe.
  
  Thank you for posting this, I'm amazed that I didn't know the broader arc of the story.
  
  2

Why is there a slice missing already?

14

Because someone put their dick in the pizza to make a funny

5
Needed energy to snap a photo.

5
How else is he supposed to power that powerhouse?

3

ok, gonna have to school some peeps with some pizza knowledge today.

First off, this is a thin crust. Dough comes to the store pre-made with perforations, you might get one small bubble in a thousand pizzas. So, not a bubble issue. (sorry @Ghyste@sh.itjust.works)

2nd, the pizza was cut previously from the incident as indicated by the cut marks of the classic "8 slice-large". These cuts have been covered where the cheese has been squashed from the smushing After cutting. (sorry @anothercatgirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone) Also, the ovens are designed to only allow a particular height through, bottles on top of a pizza wouldn't even make it in and the smell would be atrocious.

C, the standard thin crust from PJ's comes only with special seasoning (a small paper packet of seasoning) and some pepperoncini peppers, it does not contain the round garlic sauce containers. If it had, the marks would start round and end round. (sorry again @Ghyste@sh.itjust.works)

Two likely culprits in my book, one would be the oven attendants personal bottle. On busy days you have seconds to cut, package, and add all the sides (wings are the worse with extra sauce on them and extra side sauce you always run out of). Damaging a pizza can be a daily occurrence. Lastly, probably a sauce bottle itself. There are several of such size and design for the garlic Parmesan, buffalo, bbq, etc. Whole container full of bottles you usually hand off to someone helping you catch up and probably dropped it into the open box after cutting and before putting on the heating rack.

The reality, this was probably a bad pizza set off to the side on the heat rack. There are no sides present and typically you'll see a wet residue from the peppers once they're placed in the box (you don't put sides in a bad pizza/one being remade). The slice stolen was probably a co-worker grabbing a slice during working hours and another co-worker took the rest home. Probably thought it was funny and snapped a photo for the sharing feels.

edit: changed cooling rack to heating rack, I will now perform Seppuku with my pizza cutter for my disgrace.

14

When you realize it was a Take 'N' Bake.

8

I've never seen a papa johns pizza this appetizing before

7

Looks like a scoop or a bottle got buried in the topping before they put it in the oven and they didn't realize until after the oven so theyjust picked it out and put it in the box lazily. Could he burnt plastic be careful.

7

What's the problem here?

6

The sausage is missing, don't you see?

5

That’s a tiny dick

5

Your mother doesn't mind

10
Have you seen Papa John?

6

The papa special with extra large meat.

4

Must be papa's John

2

Extra meat

1