True dat

Because I'd look like this:

Fat

Because I'm fat and ugly. I don't want to see it and trust me you don't want to see it either.

I remember something about them being hunted to extinction

Understanding dryer settings.

Personal dignity?

I just realized that the examples in the meme leave out an important part of the ensemble: calf-high white tube socks with multicolor bands at the top.

If you're gonna rock it, rock it all the way.

Aside from my slab o'flab making people wish my top had not been cropped, those daddy dukes look like junk-crunchers.

I don't have a younger sister I have to share clothes with.

Girl, step into any sports themed gay bar. We are still dressing like this.

We grew up watching those dudes get butchered in increasingly-grotesque ways by a diverse conglomeration of psychotic murderers and animals, both natural and supernatural.

I'm good with my plain black t-shirt that's long enough to serve as a dress because I'm fat and need uberlength shirts to make it over the curvature of my Moo Deng pregnancy and still have enough fabric left over to not leave me looking like I'm wearing a cummerbund made from pale hairy human skin.

Fat guy dress > being split vertically, starting at the willy, by an industrial saw because I unknowingly spent a summer afternoon in a swimming hole that once hosted a cruel gang of teenagers who pretended to befriend a lonely man with a deformity and subsequently caused him to drown in it by shoving him off the rocks into the water even though they knew he couldn't swim.

Beer belly

The shape of my body.

I don’t want to disappoint gay guys.

Gents, this is not for you; it’s for her. 🙂

My fear of getting arrested for disturbing the public peace.

We live in a society.

Because those hunks never survived the movie.

not being a hunk, for starters... but also it looks uncomfortable

Being the first or second victim is a pretty good disincentive

No way, this is like wearing the red shirt in Star Trek.

Lotta people here have some body dismorphia

It does seem like short shorts are coming back.

Because it’s considered “lewd” and “indecent” when I do it and I’m not allowed within 500 yards of schools anymore.

I work IT in a construction yard and dont like the oil and slurry shit getting on my thighs when I have to fix the internet in the wash bay. Weekends are fair game but I'm a twink not a hunk so the pull off is different.

High fructose corn syrup

Self-respect mostly (at least what's left of it).

My fragile masculinity 😔

Dad bod.

I don't want to look at my disgusting flesh-body and I'd rather nobody else saw it either. Rebuild me shiny and chrome, then we'll talk about showing off.

Exercise

My wife.

I mean, my big fat body, mostly.

I dress like this in the summer as a nonbinary person

Thankfully, other men.

I don't want to be killed off like them?

Misses says my T-shirt tan ruins the look, not the dad bod ❤️

It's too cold where I live

Because our bodies are gross and threatening.

I recently got a one shoulder top that I'm wearing at home, does that count?

Every single men's top I've seen are too big...

I'm from the 80's and nobody wants to see someone my age dressed like that.

I could dress like that... for money.

I'm still traumatized by spandex being a thing when I was in primary school.

Gym was .... embarrassing.

All those pockets too small to carry a phone.

I like vaginas and having the opportunity to see one every now and then.

The "Fire Island gay" look is not for me. (Aka Midriff-baring T-shirts and Nut-Hugger shorts.)

I’m tall and thin so my clothes do look like that

It’s really uncomfortable

Were any women involved in this? Seems like the industry was full of older white men making all of the decisions back then.

Sheer sex appeal

I don't want to show anyone up

Do you find a beer gut sexy? How about Dad Bod?

I kinda dress like this in casual situations, no cropped shirt though. But I'm considering making one out from an older shirt.

Because eww, I don’t want to

The middle one (at least) is from Sleepaway Camp. Terrifying ending.

Same thing as the last time this was reposted. Didn't change in a few months.

I'm not old enough =(

hard to find those in men's sizes these days 😅

Just how gross and sad I'd look in any of these outfits.