Welcome to the new world. God save you, if it is right that He should do so

Can't wait to see an indie film about a small town Nebraska story shot in sepia because it's south of the border.

About that, how come Canada doesn't have a cold blue colored filter?
- Wouldn't theirs also be sepia? You know. Maple syrup shaded.
- Happy cake day!
- I bet Canada does have a blue or grey filter in many American movies, filmmakers often use blueish filters in snowy scenes.
Nebraska story shot in sepia because it’s south of the border.
It's not though? Unless the map was changed between when you posted your comment and the one I'm seeing now.
- I think they confused Nebraska and Kansas?
Nebraska is north of the border.
You may have mixed it up with El Kansas.
- Cansas
  You have to adjust the spelling a bit. Eg. we spell it Corea not Korea. lol
  (Funnily enough, "cansas" means "you're tiring" in Spanish as in "¡Ahh, cómo cansas!")

One generation later, none of the Americans remained. Having been removed from their threat for so long, they were now completely devoid of the natural defenses that were necessary to protect them from the devastation of Kinder Surprise eggs.

While I would honestly prefer this to our current situation, I vote we Europeanize things instead. Single continent North American Union, but instead of 3 meganations, we instead go fully independent for each state in the us and Mexico, and each province in Canada. But with free travel between the new, much smaller nations. Let's see how fast these conservative ass states who love to boast about their fucking fiscal responsibility last before collapsing and getting a bailout that requires they start offering fucking healthcare.

I have my doubts that a Republic of Sinaloa and the Grand Dutchy of Jalisco are going to work out.
- There would likely need to be some reordering in the build up to The Great Dissolution and New Unionization
Good idea, only a tiny correction: North America goes down to Panama and includes the Caribbean.
But the EU doesn't include all of Europe as well, so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
- Keep Ohio independent, like a fucked up Switzerland

Honestly, I think Mexico has a better chance cleaning up the cartels than the US have cleaning up, well... Anything.

If Mexico does that, this map looks pretty good

Without America, cartels don't have income.
- Or guns. :/ There's literally one single gun store in Guadalajara for reference.

Is there some way we can ensure Ohio goes to Mexico?

btw, am in Michigan.

Hell no. Or rather I should say: ni cuando el infierno se congele.

Feel like Mexico is getting a raw deal here.

Why? They just got back all their former territory, and then some. As well as taking the largest economy in the US, and most of the largest military resources. Oh, and a fair amount of our aerospace industries. Also an absolute shit ton of oil refineries.
- Yes but also
  Fl*rida

I mean joining Mexico sounds better than continuing to let Alabama be Alabama. We’d probably improve our public health, public transit, and healthcare options.

Maybe we could finally get rid of our racist, shitty constitution from the early 1900s (longest constitution in the world!)

I think Mexico should get Alaska. Just to further increase the distance between it and it's country.

Give Sarah Palin's village to Argentina. Because that would be funny.

I'd be happy to have Mexico right next door!

I like how the Carolinas are Canadian. It's like the map maker knew they're too racist to even try giving to Mexico.

They're going to have a great time with the deep south and the sun belt, though. We got the better end of this deal, even if the level of new population means we basically are going to be America again.

Yeah, but this version is better.

A Knights Tale!

I feel like Nebraska would burn the place down with them in it at the thought of having healthcare that isn't advertised on Facebook.

Sure, but who gets Hawaii???

Hawaii.
- Japan Strikes Back
The Great Polynesian Empire.
After becoming independent from France, Tahiti will conquer all of the Polynesian Triangle and establish a maritime domination of the Pacific.
Don't they have the Union Jack on their flag?

YEAH CANADAAAA

Canada! Fuck yeah!
- ...comin' again to save the motherfckin day, eh?..

For a second I was wondering why Manitoba got to absorb so many states.

So is Maryland the only US State now?

We say "The Duchy of Baltimore" now

Proud new Canadian checking in!

This wouldn't be so bad for new england

Very little change. I already love maple syrup.

Hmm, can we go halfsies on California, if no deal, we could maybe take florida off your hands to sweeten the deal, we have a couple friends here florida could play with. Might keep them both busy.

Mexico wouldn't be willing to go halvsies on their former territory that would be the most profitable territory that they are regaining. Especially since "states rights" aren't a thing anymore, so Florida and Texas can go suck dick when it comes to Federal Laws in Mexico, which outlawed slavery the day they wrote their Constitution.

But I don't want to learn French. I can struggle through with Spanish though.

Don't worry the Rest Of Canada doesn't really bother to learn French anyway. It only works the other way around. Unless you want to be a politician or move to Quebec, and even then...
I should know, I'm a native French speaker. Doesn't it show? Did you have to learn French to understand what I just wrote? No, because WE are the ones that have to learn English.
Source, other than my ass: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/62/Canada_map_bilingualism_2003_ridings.jpg
Acadians, Québécois, and Franco-Ontarians are more bilingual. All French speakers.
Sorry if I kind of broke the joke but, here's some facts.
- Hehe yeah, my parents got us all to learn french anyway, I don't use it much, but it helps to read a surprisingly large amount of other languages knowing english and french. I could probably more easily learn a few others if I get a reason to. But yeah, have only actually encountered 2 french speaking people in my 40 years so far. So the side benefits of learning it were certainly the more important part. Not even sure I could still follow an auditory conversation in French, but I read it fine.

Utah should be in Canada+ imo. It would mess with the nice straight-ish border over there, but then if that's what we're going for the Carolinas should be in Mexico+. Also Maryland and Delaware are apparently independent?

Hold on. Why does Mexico get the worse part of the USA?

They need the Carolinas for the full set.

Cede Florida to Cuba!

In 2020 election, GOP said Biden would do this because he's a communist. But they only said this in Miami. Blue margin for Miami was successfully diminished by Cuban vote, and FL was no longer a swing state.

Who gets Hawaii?

Oh god no. Canada, my querido vecino. Can we please trade a few states? I'll give you Texas for Maine. ¿Trato?

I live in Kansas City. I would love this outcome. We'd be that Tijuana of Canada.

You know neither of them wanted Tennessee.

Kentucky? Bourbon.

Texas? Barbeque.

Florida? Beaches.

What's Tennessee got?

Coal
Shitty liquor store moonshine that's no where near as good as real moonshine, and Dolly Parton.
I guess Memphis style barbecue, if you're into that. I'm not. Prefer my BBQ to be SC mustard base, a la Maurices (though, I won't spend money there anymore). TN does have some damn fine fried chicken, though.
They call themselves the volunteer state? I don't think anyone had the heart or patience to explain that enslaving human beings isn't a form of volunteerism.
Tennessee has some of the best whiskey produced in the US, they also have some banging mustard based BBQ, and chutney based BBQ.
Oh, and Dolly Motherfucking Parton.

Cede the entire area to a new "national park" a park the size of the Old United States.

Else, combine Baja and California to California Grande.

California Grande.
We need this.
except NO humans allowed at all

Where's the Gulf of the United States of America though?!

Wait, Why is Maryland White? Somebody take Maryland damnit!

Either way I get affordable healthcare, then it's either tacos or poutine, and I'm NGL I could go either way on that.

A more realistic map may be blue, and blue if right option/candidate, contiguous regions of US joining Canada, and the more common pre-election GOP threat of remaining US invading Mexico and then assimilated into red US.

Why not Canexico? Or Mexida?

I'd settle for Earthanadexico

Uh, shouldn't California have fallen into the ocean? It's at fault... or something

Wasn't an American Dad episode? I vaguely recall a character that speaks in a Canadian dialect with a Spanish accent.

it would probably be in everyone's best interest even considering canada can't even take care of itself with its current land and population.

I don't know enough about mexico to comment on how much more they could take on.

I would be ok becoming Mexican living in Utah, I love Mexicans.

Mexico can't afford to fuck with CA's GDP power, so yeah, I'm okay with this. I'd rather be part of Canada, though. They seem kind.

It's a simple vice. Poutine or burritos, choose wisely