2w ago

The weasel timeline

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Some say that to this day the weasel is still there being accelerated ever closer to the speed of light.
- that lucky bastard.
- Shine on, you crazy diamond!

No, because all this shit can be traced back directly to Regan, and probably Nixon. Nixon cut the break line and Regan shoved it off the cliff.
- Here's something not many people consider.
  Before Reagan, popular media had tons of intellectual content. Superheroes would hang out with Edgar Allan Poe or Sitting Bull. Cartoons like Mr. Peabody taught kids the names of historical figures and Bugs Bunny played opera.
  Then Reagan deregulated kids TV and you got half hour long commercials for GI Joe and The Transformers.
  
  Holy shit, you are right….and I can remember that shift vividly.
- The murder of Lincoln and not fixing the country after the civil war is probably the root especially for the southern strategy that Nixon would go on to use.
  The murder of both Kennedy brothers is the next point, because it opened the door for Nixon who got the economy ready to inflate and fuck over Carter, which got us Reagan and the rest of the “conservatives “ who are actually fascist racists greedy asswipes.
  
  Thomas Paine was right. It goes back to the founding of the country (at least) and the refusal to form a truly egalitarian society, embracing human slavery instead. This made the US Civil War inevitable.
  
  Well I guess absorbing enormous amounts of Nazi scientists, agents and soldiers into it's service did not help much either.
- Americans really do think they are the center of the universe
  
  Yeah, man...it's not like the largest global superpower of the last century has an effect on the rest of the world economically or anything. Must just be burger-brain.
- I think we made a big mistake coming down from the trees in the first place.
  
  In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
  
  Even the trees had been a bad move, no-one should ever have left the oceans.
- McCarthy really fucked it all up for us in 1954 with the lavender and red scares. That helped set the stage for those later cunts.
- And then Trump stomped on the remains and took a shit on them.

I like the theory that the Mayans were right and the world ended in 2012.
A redwood can be dead and still stand for years...
- 2012 was the start of the end, and it wasn't just an instantaneous catastrophe.
  
  I have to agree with Stephen King and say that the Kennedy assassination was the moment it snapped.
  Going heavy in Vietnam started the destruction of the US economy, and Nixon tripled down on it.

Portal 3 plot leaked.
- Weasel is a typo. It’s suppose to be Wheatley.
  Wheatley was accidentally accelerated past the speed of light and now exists outside of time in a godlike state.
  Still can’t make decent puzzle rooms for shit.

It was a Field Marten, not a weasel. The Pompiers still share around the image of its incredibly crispy corpse that was retrieved from the service tunnels at CMS Point 5.
Timeline thing is whatever, the collisions happening in LHC are less energetic than sunlight on a sq cm of grass, they're just much better controlled and measured.
- I guess the NPR article screenshot comes from the other timeline where it was a weasel then.
  
  It's part of the weasel family.
  
  Free shrugs lol.

and just how many times has this ...weasel thing happened?
let me guess. it's impossible to know.
- It could have already happened hundreds of times and we would never know it.
  
  omg Sadam's aware of the loop. he's laying that way in protest of reality!
  mindblown.exE
- The TenForward memes have escaped containment again.
- To quote Douglas Adams about a similar concept in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
  "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
  There is another theory mentioned, which states that this has already happened"

I'm aware of the theory that a stupid cop shooting a gorilla put us in this fucked up timeline.
- People suddenly pretending to care for animals is funny as hell
- Dicks out everyone, you know the drill...

Valve intro sting
- I'm not sure why I felt the urge to make this after seeing the guy on the right's hard hat... Yet here we are:
  
  I think he's an alien tbh
  
  Cleary he is a direct descendant of the extraterrestrial ruling class of human-alien hybrids that ruled over ancient Egypt, rofl.
  /s of course
  
  Every construction worker is an alien when you don't know how hard hats work.
  
  I can guarantee that the front of the netting isn't in its slots, and is pushed up above his forehead, essentially nullifying 95% of the effectiveness.

except in the other timeline, the hadron collider opened a black hole and swallowed the earth whole.
- they got the better outcome regardless
- How do I transfer over to that one. Is there a form to fill out or a portal or something
- Sounds lovely
- Correct, but they got sucked into an alternative reality and plan full assault on Judgement Day
  
  Well they should bloody well hurry up then.

The weasel just wanted to go to a timeline where his family is alive.
It didn't know it would create the Weaselpoint paradox.

Was it a lab leak, or live market?

They're waiting for you, Gordon. In the test chamberrrr.

Where's Gordy when you need him?

I missed that Pauly Shore movie.

I heard it was a stoat.

Wasn't it when a bird dropped a baguette on it?
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2009/nov/06/cern-big-bang-goes-phut
https://time.com/archive/6933968/did-a-time-traveling-bird-sabotage-the-collider/

Wie is de koning van Wezel?

This timeline is great. I'm going to go ahead and continue living my life and enjoying the timeline I'm in. Not finding ways to constantly make myself depressed by finding and pointing out every negative aspect I dislike. I try to focus on all of the positives instead.
- Are you advocating blissful ignorance as a like. Lifestyle? I'm glad that you have enough money and stability to do that lol if you're poor or marginalized blissful ignorance is not an option if you intend to survive.
  
  No. I'm just advocating for focusing on the positives in life. I enjoy technology and engineering. Just got a 3D printer and am absolutely loving learning about it and improving my abilities in CAD. Also love going out hiking and spending time outdoors, my state has really being making a lot of improvements in that area.
- Honestly, same. It's just harder to make jokes about life being amazing.

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