2w ago

Into the meat grinder!

81 comments

Pretty much any animal. AFAIK, no burger has ever reorganized itself into a cow.
- yes, that cow is me
  
  is the grass good over there?
- That's what they want you to think. Wake up!
- However, I've seen plenty of butter cows

how many...?
Sieveral
- Where are the mods!? This comment should have been screened!
  
  Please don't turn this into reddit.

No actually works on more. If you grind a human into a seive into salt water, pour the salt water into a busy walkway.
After forensics is done in there... the cleanup crew also organizes it into sponges, Mops... and all kinds of tools.
- Crime Scene Cleaner is such a great game

Human attempt #32,324,568,693
fail
Human attempt #32,324,568,694
fail
- The Aperture Science Enrichment Center welcomes you to the Aperture Science 3 meter sieve. The only exit from this hermetically sealed chamber is through the carbon nanotube mesh covering the doorway. If you are not able to negotiate the carbon nanotube mesh on your own, an Aperture Science 90 kiloton hydraulic persuasion piston will assist you in the experiment. Testing protocols require us to inform you that in some rare cases the carbon nanotube mesh may irritate your skin, eyes, bones, and central nervous system.
  
  perfect
- 99% of mad scientist stop immoral human trials right before the big breakthrough!
- When Leeto got bored of the Duncans and didn't use his prescience. Don't mind me been listening to the Dune series for the umpteenth time again. Just the core ones of course.

But is it the same sponge? Inverse ship of Theseus!
- I forget which episode it was, but on Last Week Tonight someone compared some process to "turning a fried chicken nugget back into a live chicken." To which John replied "If you managed that, that chicken would be FUCKED UP. Imagine the poetry it would write, 'the things that I saw, buck buck bacaw...'"
  A sponge can un-puree itself but I bet there's a kind of scream we can't hear that it would never stop making.
- It's like the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly. It basically melts into a goo inside it's chrysalis, but apparently it's been demonstrated that they can retain things they learned before metamorphosis, so...🤷‍♂️
- I think the star trek transporter debate is more apt.
- Not after I'm done, never be the same again...

Aperture science intro

My brain totally omitted the first instance of sponge and for a moment I thought we were making sponges out of military personnel from a specific branch of the military.
- given the history of experiments on military personel, it wouldn't surprise me if we did
- I read sponge, but thought it must be a term for new recruits or something like that, which made the rest horrifying.

If I chop you up, in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out becomes you again... You are probably a sponge

You probably don't want to know the details of any science done before... What? the 90's?
- I'd restrict it to the 2010s to be sure. But it varies from one specialty to another.
  When again did medicine discovered that woman benefit from anesthetics when inserting an infra-uterine device? Oh it was by 2025...
  
  The lack of pain-empathy in healthcare is mind-blowing. I'm a white man in an excellent position to be listened to, but when I had appendicitis last year getting people to understand that no, I am in crippling pain and I think it's urgent was far to much hassle for someone in crippling pain. I can't imagine what it's like for women.
  I can understand folk getting jaded eventually but I often get the feeling that many people start out not caring.
- You know, it's always funny when sci-fi shows have doctors that refer to current year medical practices as "barbaric" or "Savage", but honestly looking back just 50 years? Same feeling.
  200 years ago, the local "doctor" will probably tell you to take a swig of the bottle he just dumped on your wound, because he's gotta saw it off. Hopefully they at least washed it since it's last use.
  200 years from now? Eh. Doc will wave a light over it, you'll be fine.
  
  We still have jokes and common knowledge about being sent to the psych ward if you reveal anything weird about your mind. I've heard stories only a few years old of doctors refusing to refer trans patients to gender clinics, which quite often means either needing to circumvent the system or death. Only last year I had the revelation that doctors are supposed to help me, not just tell me what I must do.

Get that grinder fired up! We might have to feed some of the bigger ones through a wood chipper...
For science!

Some of you will be fighting for your planet. Some of you will be dying for your planet. Some of you will be forced through a fine screen mesh for your planet. Those will be the luckiest of all.
- Shut up and take my upvote!

- Thanks for the lab meme picture. I miss r/labrats :'(
  
  I too was doing an analytic chemistry course when this first popped :) Never forget!!
  Hit extra hard because a friend was in a performing techno duo called Polytron.

All of them.

adjunct professors express the same adaptation if you ask any university

I hope spongebob never read this
- Iirc they make jokes about sponges regenerating multiple times. Stephen Hillenburg was a marine biologist and educator, which is what led him into making SpongeBob.
- Have you ever seen Spongebob? Way worse things happen to him.
  
  Right? I wouldn't be surprised if this has happened to him. He works in a fast food restaurant ffs. With a cheap boss and no concept of OSHA or food safety regulations, no less.
  If y'all knew what went down in the back of similar restaurants in the real world, you'd probably never eat at a diner again. And that's with OSHA and Health Codes.
  
  I feel bad about the one time he tried to start a fire and it worked until he realized he was hopelessly underwater.
- Why? It might be kind of reassuring. Nasty car crash? Pull yourself back together.
- spongekyle I will END YOU if you tell Dr Robert Khakis.

Humans

All of them?
- not all of them.
  Only the tasty ones
  
  How you think we know which ones are tasty?

the only one? what about slime molds?
- Not an animal
  
  Honest question. How is that sponge an animal and how is "animal" defined? If we grind something through a sieve and it reassembles surely the lifeform can't be too complicated.

But we can morph grinded meet in another animal
- Also morph grinded art into "art".

81 comments