Sounds like the most sensible option

sed s/demon/daemon/g

The install is complete.

Ok, but imaging playing one of the new Doom games with that set up:

Action starts to get intense.

The tension, and temperature rises.

Suddenly, a whisper at the back of your mind "hail satan hail satan hail satan"

As more enemies appear, and the temperature rises, it becomes louder, pulsing in your ears. Somehow a whisper that is now shouting.

As you cleanse the demonic filth, the chanting subsides and stops, bringing a measure of peace, at least for the moment.

The demon is Bill Gates fueled with the tormented souls of Microsoft employees that just got layed off. The solution is to print out a few Arch wiki pages and a usb stick (with Arch) and say "the power of Torvalds compels you" until the PC is once again pure. Than keep your PC pure by avoiding absolutely proprietary software and always praying to Tux for more features.

Well… the satanists I’ve met definitely seemed like a Linux crowd, so it’s not the worst suggestion prior to sacrificing a goat or something of that nature.

I think such circumstances require TempleOS.

I am running Ubuntu Santanic Edition

Linux doesn't have this? Man, I guess I'll stick with windows. That shit is metal AF.

I think HellOS comes with demonic teeth drivers right out of the box.

When was the last time you saw a possessed Linux system? Don’t worry I’ll wait

my Linux has dæmons all over it
- The good dæmons compete with pathogenic bad dæmons, and are essential for the computer's health.
All my Linux systems are possessed by daemons
Every linux comes with perl and bash, possession is a single script away

You can probably configure the demon in Linux

demonctl stop hellfire demonctl disable hellfire demonctl enable regular-fire demonctl start regular-fire demonctl set --force body-type=human horns=2 eyes=2 tongue=forked skin=red demonctl add --object electric-guitar demonctl speak "play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls"
- /. tribute.sh
- lp1 is on fire
- Meanwhile in BeOS and Haiku; isComputerOn() isComputerOnFire() isComputerCursed()
How do I daemonize my demon?

Demons prefer FreeBSD

Stupid Linux Guy doesn't realize that by installing Linux, you install even more daemons on your machine!

Just because they're daemons doesn't mean they're bad or malicious. Assuming they are is racist.
Install FreeBSD
Nah we know its just that all the demons end up clogging up the pc portal and all of them trying to enter at once end up blocking each other

Honestly TempleOS might be the way to go on this one

my arch laptop with i3wm is riced to look like temple OS.
god loves elephants, and so do i.
- my arch laptop with i3wm is riced to look like temple OS.
  Yoo, let us get them dots

systemd keeps daemons under control, the computer will be fine with Linux.

TempleOS

Did you see the templeOS rice the other day on unixporn?
Dude had fuckin nix on there
- Have not seen it. Got links? I'd look it up, but I'm unsure whether we're talking Lemmy or Reddit

I just pictured someone throwing pages from the manual on it going "THE POWER OF LINUS COMPELS YOU!" Yeah. I'll see myself out.

In the package, there will be a large square of herb-scented paper. This is the entire code for VüDü. Fold this paper into an origami shape resembling the animal you're installing VüDü on (see also Appendix II). There are folding directions for common animals in the box. Make a hollow inside your paper badger and add a little more blood and hair from your animal.
Don't lose the paper; replacements are expensive. There are recipes for homemade paper on the Web, but getting all the information correctly transcribed is a huge task, as this must be handwritten; furthermore, the requirements of herb collecting, drying, and curing are formidable.
Some man pages are more suitable than others.

This is like 99% of Lemmy users.

"How do I fix this issue with my computer?"

"Have you heard of our lord and savior FOSS?"

would actually solve 90% of problems.
- With Linux:
  I don't have forced updates.
  I do have driver compile error when I update the kernel.
  I don't have spyware recording my screen.
  I don't have Discord record my screen when I want it to, either.
  I don't have ads for games in my launcher.
  I don't have HDR for games in my Steam library.
  Etc.
Literally saw this on Mastodon yesterday.
"How come emailing a document to myself is still the easiest way to send something to another device?"
"Have you tried using Linux?"
- I mean they aren't wrong. KDE connect on phone and PC is a game changer. GS connect if you use Gnome Desktop. Not only can you send a file instantly, you can also copy your clipboard between devices, answer SMS on your PC, or have the phone pause your PC media when the phone rings. Its amazing. There is a windows version but it doesn't work properly.
- It's not the best way though. Idk why you'd hate on someone actually providing a solution.
- Is it? With the advent of cloud storage, it seems that is the easiest way. Any cloud storage, any OS, its the concept of cloud storage that solves this problem.

If you install Linux properly you'll get the experience with spirits you'll need.

Gotta keep those daemons at bay.

Don't worry. Systemd will absorb them all. One to find them, in darkness to bind them...

Best way to kill -9 a daemon 🤷

https://youtu.be/0rG74rG_ubs

it's true though, specificity TempleOS

B-b-but TempleOS isn't Linux!
- It has a compiler and lets you talk to god. What more do you need?

    
$ sudo systemd-inhibit lucifer

I'm inclined to believe that's normal Windows behavior at this point...

I'm sure you have no ulterior motives on this subject, maxwells_daemon.

Hence freebsd was born.

Install TempleOS to sanctify your computer and rid it of demons once and for all.

FreeBSD might make sense here too with Beastie. Just lean into it

On the next episode of Unix surrealism ...

Sounds like a standard windows 11 install to me?

Sounds like something windows would do…

Your computer wants to be possessed by Daemons sir

Daemons > demons

Nothing wrong with just suggesting Linux tho. And the satan part is obviously just a nice goodie of your PC.

Exactly! More proof it runs on a huge variety of hardware

I mean, the graphics card issue sounds like a Windows virus to me, so probably would be fixed with a Linux install.

Demon: What the fuck, how to I install Chrome, what the heck is a tar gz? Fuck this I'm out

there are other demons? and they're invisible?? What if they grow superteeth on my CPU teeth? dot deb? how do I run a dot deb? "man top"? "man mount"??
fucking hell looking up manual pages kills me every time. i run mint btw