Archaeologists Keep Finding Massive Shoes at an Ancient Roman Fort—and They Have No Idea Why They're So Big
Just a moment...
Biggus Dickus' shoes.
He had a wife...
Incontinentia… Incontinentia Buttocks
Maybe it's a gag? Romans had memes and there are a lot of beings in Roman and Greek mythology that are essentially just oversized humanoids, so maybe the shoes are tied to some sort of mythological in-joke at the fort.
Maybe part of a psy-op?
Spread rumours the fort is defended by giants, have your troops bring these out to leave tracks... Don't know how feasible that would be though, both in terms of leaving tracks in places you wouldn't be observed doing so and in terms of them being believable enough for an actual tracker to believe.
Hey Nero look how big i made this shoe hahahahahaha
I mean ... maybe they had to keep some uniforms there for new recruits. and the biggest sandals rarely got used and got left behind when Rome abandoned the isles ?
Or maybe they are finding raw materials. Perhaps they would make shoes as needed, and they had soles cut to a huge size so you’d be able to trim them down to whatever size was needed.
And I'm still wondering why they are still wondering. So they are digging out oversized Caligae. You know that Caligae are? They are sandals. And they are digging them up at a fort at Hadrians Wall. Up in Scotland. Where things get cold occasionally.
Now imagine soldiers, standing guard or patrolling in the cold, wearing sandals. What would they do? They'd wrap up their feet in something warm, like lamb furs. Or cloth. But wadded up feet don't fit into standard-sized sandals designed for bare feet. Solution, rather obvious, is having oversized sandals that fit feet and insulation.
Gigantic? Massive? I was expecting hilariously big sizes, turned out to be my shoe size. Wtf. Is that insane that this particular fort had conscripts that were selected just because they were taller? Other cultures have preferred taller, bulkier soldiers, why this can't be the case?
Nope. You have hilariously gigantic feet.
That shoe’s sole was 12.6 inches long, which is roughly the same size as a men’s 14 in the United States, reports Live Science’s Kristina Killgrove.
That is smaller than my shoe size, those scientists have a dumb frame of reference.
Not my fault everyone else has weird and tiny feet.
Considering 6' people were rare 150 years ago, I'd imagine a size 14 would have been crazy 2,000 years ago.
Kind of rare, but not exactly unheard of. Kinda like anyone taller than 6' 8" these days. If you saw them, you might think "Wow, they're tall" but you wouldnt think of them as freakish.
Combine that with this being a Roman fort, and the fact that being a soldier was probably a pretty common job for big/strong men, and it's really not that surprising. Kind of a nothing story really. Imagine a bunch of future archeologists scratching their heads over finding a bunch of large shoes in an NBA locker room.
They were also shorter on average than modern humans. https://history.stackexchange.com/questions/17072/what-was-the-average-height-of-roman-men-and-women
It's not size 14.
Since May, archaeologists working at Magna have unearthed eight massive leather shoes that each measure more than 11.8 inches long.
So four pairs? Was there one gigantic dude there that kept losing his shoes?
11.8 inches is about 30 cm or size 47 in the european system. Which is big but not unheard of. I personally know 2 people wearing similar shoe sizes. Very possible it's just one guy who kept losing shoes.
We are longer on average now, so I'd argue size 47 is also more common now though. Making the 'it's just one guy'-theory even more likely.
That is a size 13 US which is a relatively common shoe size among men with big feet. Looking at the photo I could tell it was about the size of my shoes.
A mens shoe isnt really particularly large until you get to the limited sizes, like 14 or 15, where dudes have like two shoe options to choose from at any given shoe store. Pretty much every mens shoe is made in sizes up to a 13 consistently
11.8 inches is about a foot.
dons foil hat
It was for the giants. Cultures across the world have myths of giants. If any of those myths are based in reality, these big shoes could have been for the descendants of the giants that have interbred with us humans over the ages. By the time of Hadrian's wall these part giants would have been nothing more than large humans.
Spoiler alert: it was the main clown college in the Roman empire.
But seriously, that's interesting.
Big dick is the likely explanation.
Oh so they found where Biggus Dickus was stationed.
He goes by Biggus Dickus.
He has a wife you know ‽
They just wanted the shoes to last. Make they quality. Many layers.
And I'm still wondering why they are still wondering. So they are digging out oversized Caligae. You know that Caligae are? They are sandals. And they are digging them up at a fort at Hadrians Wall. Up in Scotland. Where things get cold occasionally.
Now imagine soldiers, standing guard or patrolling in the cold, wearing sandals. What would they do? They'd wrap up their feet in something warm, like lamb furs. Or cloth. But wadded up feet don't fit into standard-sized sandals designed for bare feet. Solution, rather obvious, is having oversized sandals that fit feet and insulation.
Time-travellling clowns.
Shoemaker's signs? Put a big shoe outside the shop? They still do that in places.
They had big feet?
True if big
First we need to spend 100k on researcher and publish at least 20 articles.
But yes, big feet.
Publish or perish, amirite?
And maybe hung? :)
Foot size is not particularly correlated to dick size- and wouldn’t have necessarily been a boon if he were. Apparently Roman woman preferred smallish dicks. (Which is why all the Roman statues of gods were lacking by today’s standards.)
Among other cryptids