What's the most notable skill a GF or BF taught you?

I was raised in a relatively high wealth family. Not personal jet rich, but still rich enough that we were going on vacation to fancy places a lot, dad had pretty cars, a big house, we went on ski trips, and played golf, etc. My wife was raised by a single mother with a more or less absentee father, working where she could to raise her two girls.

I already knew I was lucky and privileged, my parents kept telling my siblings and I, but it never really registered to me just how much. The skill I learned a lot about is empathy, I think.

90

That I'm allowed to have boundaries and a good partner won't cross them.

55

Not a girlfriend, but a date (that ultimately didn’t go anywhere). She was a teacher and I mentioned despite being a software engineer and having to take up to Calc 2 in university, I never actually learned long division. So, she taught me.

44

Only up to calc 2?! Why did they make me take Calc 3, Numerical Analysis, Discrete Math, and Sets and Logic?!

15
- Some of those I understand complaining about but honestly Sets & Logic is a great class for a programmer. I wish that was in the standard math path so that everyone got a little of it in high school, the closest I got was doing proofs in geometry which while that is a sort of logic training it doesn't really teach you how to make use of anything.
  
  Also, depending what you're building exactly, advanced Calc and Numerical Analysis may be very useful and/or required to perform. Especially if you're trying to accurately model something that happens in meatspace.
  
  8
- Same.
  
  2
How did you escape the pointless toil that is long division?

3

To press my index fingers and thumbs together to make a tiny aperture so you can see stars clearer at night.

42

Permanently Deleted

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- Well I'll be, would you look at that
  
  3
Woohoo Let's go on a date

3

My wife taught me to cook and that I was allowed to have feelings. I taught her a bunch of computer stuff and that she was allowed to have feelings.

42

I still can't cook, but my wife definitely taught me that I'm allowed to have feelings; And most everything I know about expressing those feelings without being a complete asshole and without going straight from calm to rant-y.

1

My first serious boyfriend taught me how to change the oil, change a tire, and rotate the tires on my car. Also that I don't like anal.

37

Hmmm. Technique and protocol is important in all of these.

Did it hurt?

7
- Bahaha! Yeah, when he whipped out that 4-way tire iron...
  
  10
Rotating the tires is really important! I really hope you do it every month as the manufacturer requires. Few people do.

4
I applaud the first part.

2

I recommend dating a chef long enough to learn how to cook, that is a super helpful skill

26

So, how do you do your onions?

4
- They are so particular about how onions are cut, and also salt and peppering EVERYTHING
  
  9

Integration of trigonometric functions.

25

Does him teaching me how to kiss count?

20

My ex (though really his mom i guess) taught me you can just run a half empty dishwasher. I grew up without a lot of money, so we weren't running the dishwasher until it was full (big family, so pretty often). But when you're one or two people, it never fills up so I was just hand washing dishes, hating my life. They ran the dishwasher every night no matter how full or empty it was. At 9pm, the dishwasher started. It's stupid to say it changed my life, but now I just run it whenever I want. I also run my washing machine all the time and folding half loads is so much better, I no longer hate laundry.

20

My wife was like this when we met. She also grew up more poor than me. I still see her washing a lot of stuff by hand that should be in the dishwasher. Old habits die hard. The unspoken agreement is when we run out of a utensil, or get down to one, we run the dishwasher.

One thing my mom taught her through me is not putting good kitchen knives or any wood through the dishwasher.

6
- Also, wood utensils, cutting boards, etc. need oiling. Just cheap mineral oil should do.
  
  2
It’s like 3 gallons of hot water and a bit of soap.

Should cost less than 0.50¢

2
seems like a waste of energy

0
- The dishwasher is generally more efficient than handwashing. It reuses the water, so you're using less water. In terms of electricity usage, I'm seeing around 2 kWh for one load.
  
  4

Suck the roof of your mouth with your tongue to stop a sneeze.

18

Pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth can also stop "brain freeze" from cold foods/drinks.

4
Why though? The thing that was supposed to be sneezed is gonna be still there?

3
- She had nasal surgery. Doc taught her this to prevent sneezing out the packing.
  
  3
Lol will try this

1

How to put on a bra.

16

Taking a bra off from underneath a shirt!

2

My ex taught me how to crochet, which was pretty cool of her. I've always wanted to do stuff with yarn and having someone there to guide and correct me was so useful. I'm not sure I would have stuck with it if I tried to learn via online tutorials.

14

Adding salt to your ketchup when eating fries, instead of salting the fries. That way it's always salty enough on every fry. Such an easy hack.

10

Wow, I've never heard of that, but that's really smart.

1

How to say so when something isn’t good enough. I’m super prone to just accept shitty delivery/products/service. My wife is amazing at saying “I was super disappointed” but in a way that gets the other person on board and often rectifies the issue. She’s super awesome at expressing limits without aggression and it’s definitely made me a better person to be around; before I would accept my own borders being crossed while the pressure was building and then explode with rage. Much easier to deal with things up front and then be authentic. Still learning but she’s great at this.

9

Thinking before speaking. I would just sort of stream of consciousness it before. I still do sometimes, because I like the surprising things that come out of my mouth, but it's handy to be able to rein it in when nessa

9

when nessa

Omg, thanks I hate it…is this a thing? I mean I might love it, not sure yet.

2
- Definitely not a "thing," and extra definitely not contemporary.
  
  I've only ever known one other person to say it, and that was the ex partner my comment above was about! They had a really playful way of speaking, and I realise in retrospect I've unconsciously taken on a lot of their little idiosyncrasies.
  
  I had to look it up, but it looks like it's a reference to this line from High Anxiety with Mel Brooks.
  
  2

Back massage.

6

How to listen to a woman’s intent over her words.

4

I drew Fire from Ifrit once.

3

That thing you like.

3

My GF in college whipped out excel and did some math in the spreadsheet while we were talking about something. So I decided to learn excel and that’s been a super useful thing to know my whole life.

2

That thing you like.

1