I'm drunk, so I'm not gonna do it, but I'm wondering

I'mma leave this up since I'm late to the party on this one and there's already a discussion, but in the future please remember rule #2 and phrase all post titles in the form of a question. This is like Jeopardy! ;)

On that note, if everyone is on board and copacetic, I say go for it and you deserve some mad props for pulling that off.

In my experience, drunk texting an ex is never a good idea, but it takes different strokes to move the world.

Don’t ever text an ex while drunk.

Thought: “I want to text my ex”

1. Is it past 8pm? Do not text.
2. Are you drunk? Do not text.
3. Jack off, then consider again if you still want to text
4. Did you break up with them, leaving mixed feelings? Do not text, you will hurt them
5. Did they break up with you? Do not text. You will hurt yourself.
6. Was it a mutual break up? Then why do you want to hook up? Someone will get hurt.

Unless you were previously just a fling/FWB, hooking up randomly with a long term ex is the pathway to pain and hurt, for one or both of you. If one of you is still healing, you will just reopen that wound.

Do not drunk text your ex for a hook up.

No way, especially not in the past ~4 years. There is only one ex that I consider, and she's specifically on my to don't list because it will end in disaster. But damnnn, she's on the list for a reason. She wasn't particularly gorgeous, sweet, caring,... particularly anything except physical intimacy.

The best description I can give is to imagine if before we are born, we all are given a certain amount of points that we can spend on building our character. Our souls can spread points on a spectrum of traits: intelligence, speed, love, charisma, agility, physical beauty, openness, fine motor skills, music production, etc. Al "Tico" Einstein dropped a majority on intelligence. Leo The Vinchi put a bunch on ingenuity and painting. Great Alex put a bunch on military strategy. This girl, my ex, put a few on looks, a few on being annoying, and dumped the rest on sex. She then used a cheat code to get more points and put those on sex too.

Tho she is quite skilled with certain intimate behaviors, she doesn't do any one thing mind-blowingly well. Her strengths are her attitude, disposition, and desire paired with a body physically fit enough to actualize them. It's like imagine your favorite adult actress, but she's not acting. She is really like that all the time. She could be mad, sleepy, hot, hungry, whatever, it doesn't matter. You could be in the outside pool of some hotel in downtown Tampa during a lightning storm while she is in the middle of one those passionate borderline PD fights with you where you are seriously asking the universe, "Wtf is happeningggg‽😫" It.doesn't.matter. She will flip like a switch and be ready to go Riley-Ried-on-ecstasy wild. That's what this girl is like.

She's kind of ruined sex for me since I keep pointlessly comparing everyone else to her. It's like having a Ferrari for a while, then going back to regular cars. Most of the time you get an Accord, sometimes a Carolla, and when lucky, you get a Nissan Z. Sometimes you get a Mustang, and you can slowly mod it to ride better than the Z. They're all cool and get you there, but no matter what, it'll never be anything like the Ferrari. Even when you're with the Nissan Z and you open the throttle wide, you'll still wish it rode like the Ferrari.

Despite that, I still don't engage (even tho she hits me up ~once/6 months) because all the points she dumped on sex left no points for sanity. She is crazy. Call-the-cops crazy. Use-furniture-to-barricade-yourself-in-a-room crazy. Flinch-when-you-hear-her-open-a-door-followed-by-her-foot-steps crazy. That's why I have her on the to don't list. So yeah, I'm prolly going to capitulate sometime soon and meet up with her to "catch up".

Don't listen to everyone else, they clearly don't know your situation and that it is totally different to theirs. It's a fantastic idea, and can only end in the situation you are hoping for. Please keep us updated on how it goes :)

In case that wasn't motivating enough for you to try this amazing idea and report back to us (v. important) try these sentences:

• you miss all the shots you don't take
• would you rather live the rest of your life not knowing?
• if no one took risks, we'd have never crossed the seas

Not even on a good day.

Nope. Been there, done that, turned a relatively amicable breakup into a "you're a piece of shit and don't ever speak to me again" situation, ruining another friendship in the process. It's a horrible, horrible idea.

Also drunk and I understand the desire but no

No

I consider this fairly often, since I'm often drunk and plenty of my past relationships ended amicably. And, every single time that I sober up, I'm glad that I didn't call/text any of my exes.

So don't do that. Wait until you're sober, and it's daytime where you live, and you're sexually satisfied, then think again if you should be texting them.

So I can definitely imagine amicable breakups where there is still sexual contact (e.g. you don't get along living together, but you're both fine being fwb).

But if the first time you're thinking about it is when you're drunk, that's not be a good sign. Sleep on it, then tomorrow think about what you want the "relationship" to look like going forward. If they're likely to feel the same way (as a person that lives inside your computer, I don't know them), you can ask them with a clear head (and not in a flirty way). Just respect their answer and don't be a creep if they say no.

No.

Nonononononononono

No

nope. Inadvisable.

If you have to impair your brain and thought process to do it, is it really such a good idea?

I don’t want to sound judgemental or anything, but how about making this decision at the point of your life when you are not getting drunk to even consider this option?

Because obviously, I don’t know the effects of this decision and no one else here could fully know, but I am sure, the best, most healthy decisions are made from a proper starting position.

Love the edit, OP

It depends on how my wife gets on with the ex, I suppose.

Not even sober....

Absolutely not

Have a wank and ask the question to yourself again, you just honry.

My ex wife did this last month. But she wasn’t drunk, nor was it just a text. I received a pic of her nude bottom half and the text: open if you want to visit.

I left it on “read”.

Amicable or not, this is just using the other person.

No. Walk it off, drink some water and go to bed. Nothing but evil can come from texting an ex.

Never text your ex, block and next..

no, it's never a good idea, not even out of desperation

I personally wouldn't recommend it

I wouldn’t even dare tbh especially as all my relationship eventually got super toxic, wouldn’t even be on my list 😭 I would rather die than be anywhere near them 😭

The best thing you can do in this situation is masturbate and get it out of your system.

My wife and I have hooked up with one of her exes, the reason they broke up was over whether or not to have kids, but unless you’re certain that they’ll not be mad don’t do it. Even my amicable exes I’d be annoyed if they only messaged to hook up

I have an anecdote about this very subject.

My ex tried to get back together with me after a 2.5 year on/off relationship where there was no intimacy and I'm pretty sure she had no intentions of ever putting out. The reason I didn't trust her was that she straight-up ghosted me and cut me out of my life twice before, and the last time we broke up, I had the choice of either salvaging a vacation to Santorini into a five day solo trip or end up £1k out of pocket.

I was kind to her, I listened to her, I agreed to meet with her for a meal. We talked as if we didn't have a two year absence hanging between us.

When it came time to pay the bill, I insisted we split it. Her face immediately dropped and the whole mood changed.

She blocked me afterwards.

Nah, I'm not attracted to her anymore. We're friends and it'll stay at that. There are fundamental reasons for which we broke up and sexual compatibility was one of them. Sex with her was always "alright". Never mind-blowing.

When I was younger and drunk, I'd text crushes and embarrass myself. None of them cared for me one bit. Since then, I have been drunk once and being rejected is one of the reasons.