Ballaholic I'm guessing

She isn't going to order her own meatballs and is going to pick off his plate. He wanted to make sure he got to eat his fill before sharing.

247

That's a good theory.

50
I've literally done exactly this

41
- Found the meatballs guy
  
  18
He knows his wife likes the meatballs, but isn't going to order her own, so he eats two, claims he's stuffed, and let's her have the last one.

He actually is stuffed, because the ones she saw him eat were actually numbers 7 & 8 and she's happy because she gets a meatball without ordering extra food.

So wholesome!

30
Joey doesn't share food!

18
What happened to communicating with your partner

2
- This is non verbal communication.
  
  8
- You're not married, are you? Eating something off your plate is communication.
  
  3

Probably he's on a diet and his wife won't let him eat more than 1 order of meatballs.

139

☕

8

WHAT WAS HE HIDING

That he wanted six extra meatballs?

134

Maybe it’s a trick question.

Like maybe he was hiding a corpse in the trunk of his car, which he murdered by slitting their throat with Occam’s razor.

17

Imagine all the time this guy saves by typing like he's doing it with his fucking face

69

It's sorta greentext-like

22
He's an amateur, he typed out "ate" instead of using "8"!

20
b4

That’s a bingo!

8
But what is he hiding?

6

Bro wants to eat his own meatballs

Wife wants to eat his meatballs, and not ask for her own

Bro gets early, gets his own meatballs.

Wife gets to restaurant, sees new meatballs

She starts picking on husband meatballs

Bro shares

Wife happy

Everyone happy

66

This is probably the most charitable interpretation of this scenario. Good for you.

I figured his wife put him on a diet and he was having none (or three times) of it.

37

His heart disease

41

I know someone who's husband would go to taco bell in secret and she would see the charge alerts on her phone.

39

Why his his bank account logged into her phone? Are joint bank accounts really a thing, or are the wife and I the weird ones for keeping our finances separate?

5
- My wife and I keep our finances separate too.
  
  Except we both send money to an account that's in my name offsetting the mortgage on the house that's in my name too. My wife wants access to this account because she's worried if I die the bank will make it hard to get at the cash since it's offset and joint savings all in one.
  
  Not to mention we don't have wills and she's been pushing for that for a few years.
  
  The more I think about it, she might be planning on killing me haha
  
  12
- my wife and I are joint, just easier that way. what surprises me more is that someone would set up alerts for the low expense levels that would be triggered by Taco bell.
  
  I don't really understand why folks would do separate it just seems like more trouble for no benefit unless there has been a specific reason or issues to trigger that.
  
  (for example my dad and stepmom had separate accounts after she spent so much one Christmas that I had to pay their rent)
  
  9
- All our accounts are totally joint and wife and I carry basically the same credit cards. No reason to be separate IMO. Only need one check book that way and I can pay all the bills for all the cards in one place.
  
  9
- Are joint bank accounts really a thing
  
  They're a thing
  
  3
- My wife doesn't work so it's all joint
  
  3
- We have joint and personal accounts.
  
  Joint account for bills, if anything were to happen to me I would like her to be able to pay bills, or even see they exist to cancel them.
  
  Joint account for salary deposit and a joint savings on it for covering our 3 months of bills.
  
  Personal account for discretionary spending, each month we put some pocket money in each of our personal account to blow on beer/taco bell/whatever.
  
  3
- Are joint bank accounts really a thing
  
  Are you joking? Of course they are a thing lol
  
  3
- You're not the weird ones. I used to have joint accounts with my then-wife, but I'll never do that again. Mainly because I will never marry again (ridiculous concept if you ask me - the government charging you money so that they can approve your relationship is bananas to me, and then paying them more to dissolve it if it doesn't work out), but also because I haven't met many people out there who manage their own money well, so why would I ever put them in a position of control over the money I earn?
  
  1

He’s cheating on his diet, as others mentioned. I feel like you should be able to just talk to your wife about going off diet once in a while…

37

Some people suck though. Dude would probably catch hell from his wife Karen.

-1
- Eh someone who gives their SO hell for not sticking to their diet is not necessarily “Karen”, it’s unnecessary to frame it this way
  
  18
- Maybe he was unhealthy obese
  
  3

I don't know why i'm a fat diabetic

34

Big bones and bad genes, clearly

0

“ Wait… I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?”

33

Ahh Ron Swanson, the only conservative the world ever needs.

Aaand here goes a five page discussion about whether if Ron is conservative or not

2
- He's the wet dream ideal of conservative libertarianism, so yeah.
  
  2

"WHAT WAS HE HIDING?"

Well, meatballs, obviously.

32

He knew his wife "wasn't gonna be hungry," and would "share," his meatballs. The man just needed to get full first, so he wasn't starving after.

16
Six of them.

2

His balls apparently

24

Don't tell him they are made of meat, though

5
- Aren’t we all made of meat?
  
  3

This reminds me of how when I was young, my dad would get us an extra order of desert when mom left to use the restroom. It was the best dad move. Ofc I was an anxiety case while trying to eat the ice cream before mom got back, it was that intense anxiety where it felt something was following you. Do you know? No. All you know is that every fiber in your being told you you needed get out of that old warehouse as soon as possible. You keep running, avoiding roots and rocks. You keep second guessing yourself. Where we alone? You look to see if Sam followed you but he's nowhere to be seen. You swear you two looked at eachother with the same chill just moments ago. You call out to him, but you hear nothing. You slow down and turn around but the sun has already set and the trees shroud any sense of direction. You call out again, but regret it instantly.

The weight of something big is coming.

You pick a direction and go in an all out sprint. You don't know where you are going but know whatever has been tracking you is behind you. You are now shrieking call for Sam but he is long gone. The ground below you shifts as you come to a steep decline. You stumble but catch yourself, only to find the moss on the ground won't hold you. You slip and roll into a ravine, and as you fall your ankle hits a rock. You don't know if it's broken but at this point you know that whatever is behind you is worse than the pain of each step. You are limping but moving, but now you are losing ground. The bushes burst open behind you and in the shock you fall back down, firmly breaking the leg you tried so hard to ignore. You turn over while you writhe in pain to see what remained of Sam being held by what couldn't be a man but couldn't be a beast. He comes forward smelling the air furiously. You didn't want to believe it, but Sam was taken and soon you will be too. In your final moments, a face finally comes 2 inches from yours.

You didn't want to believe things could go south so fast. You didn't want to believe Sam was dead. You didn't want to believe you never would sleep in your bed or eat rainbow Sherbet again. You didn't want to believe your eyes when you saw him-

Shia LaBeouf.

Anyway when mom came back dad would always take the heat for us, but he's a funny guy and mom couldn't stay mad for long.

21

Damn, how long did your mom spend in restaurant bathrooms?

12
- She was stealing 5 gallons of pink soap.
  
  8

You just dont understand, some people need to do recon missions before comitting to the charge.

15

She's gonna complain about the bill.

14

But it'll probably show 3 orders of meatballs, and she saw him get 3 meatballs. He just has to keep her from looking too closely

2
That’s why he says “I think I’ll try the meatballs.” You just solved the mystery. Now he has plausible deniability. I hope they have security cameras.

2

Gout, probably

13

Holy shit this thread

Meme : weird event happens at restaurant, only context is that man was hiding his actions for whatever reason"

ITT: FUCKING WIVES AMIRITE

13

Meh.

I was getting a Chinese takeout a while back. A guy came in to pick up his order and sank 4 cans of Carlsberg Special Brew (7.5% ABV) in the 5 minutes it took them to get it ready for him. He wasn't savouring this beer, he was just fucking necking it as fast as possible.

Who knows the struggles other people are going through and the things they do to get through the day without losing it.

13

That's impressive, it's disgusting.

1

WHAT WAS HE HIDING?

The reason for his obesity?

12

Ball is life

11

Inflating the bill so when they get the check he can be like "Holy hell! That's way more expensive than I thought. We might not be able to come here again." And save money by not going out to a restaurant ever again.

10

looks at bill

9 MEATBALLS?

We only had three

9
- 1 "Wife's entree"
  
  3 "Meatballs Order"
  
  3
- IKR? She she wouldn't look at the bill. "I sense a disturbance in the force..."
  
  0