Ass Detection: Peak 24th century technology
Ass Detection: Peak 24th century technology
He's activating the weapons of ass destruction.
17I think this was addressed explicitly on TNG even! IIRC there was an episode where a kid has ptsd thinking he caused his ship to wreck. It comes out that while the ship was shaking he pressed his forearm up against the panel for balance. One of the enterprise crew tells him at the climax he couldn’t have messed anything up because he’s not crew or something
26And the designers of LCARS informed the cast that any button they pressed was the correct button, because the system was smart enough to present a custom smart interface that was intuitive to the crew member using it. Presumably, it’s also smart enough to recognize Riker’s ass.
26The idea that the computer can tell who is interacting with the panel, authenticate them, and distinguish a command from something set/leaning on it makes sense. Riker is trusting that system. They could have made a throwaway joke about Riker breaking a prototype replacement in testing when he leaned on it.
12
They have psychic doors, so ass detection should be a piece of cake.
19When I was in university one of the things I did for the completion of my degree was to invent something. I made a door sensor that used cameras and intention detection to work out if the door needed to open or not.
Simply been near it wouldn't cause it to open, you actually had to be intentionally striding in the correct direction.
It never went anywhere because it's not actually useful technology and even in mass production would probably have cost 10x what a simple infrared sensor would have, it just always bugged me that automatic doors in businesses used to open just because someone was stood near them, and let the cold air in.
5And prescient com badges.
Edit: Im sure the com badges can also recognize Rikers ass.
9
Apparently Johnathan Frakes had hip issues which is why Riker stepped over chairs and he was always leaning on things.
48They'd likely have similar technology with their touchscreens as well do ours. It's not meant to react against any pressure, but only recognizes conductive material.
And Starfleet would make sure NOT to have the ass of their uniforms made of that kind of material for these exact reasons
56And yet a touchscreen that doesn't explode is still beyond all of their technology.
46That's what happens when your computer designers seem to have a microtape loose, and decide that connecting the multi-exawatt power system directly to all the powered systems is a good idea.
Prssumably the same people who build a malevolent AI that takes over the ship every few decades, or makes it so that starships explode if they bonk into anything hard enough.
4Do you want explosion free screens, or screens you can sit on? You can't have it both ways.
16Look, there's a reason you can wire almost any heavy machinery into any random console or wall panel... When you run this much power to every station, exploding panels are gonna happen.
It's either that, or we run our ships like Vulcans, and that's just boring.
15Username checks out.
10
The consoles occasionally exploding into sparks or rocks is on purpose. It gives all the engineers that aren't the chief engineer something to do.
39I believe there was a mention in Lower Decks about having to refill the rocks in the bridge consoles.
EDIT: S5E8 "Upper Decks"
Billups: "My team replaced all the Cordry rocks in the ceiling panels on the bridge."
Ransom: "Ugh, hate those things. They always fall out and hit me on the head when we take damage."
Billups: "Well, their non-centrosymmetry disrupts the charge leptons in the isolinear pathways of the main deflector, which then causes-"9They could do it at the expense of fewer lives at least. I realize it's Bridge Crew and they'll come back, but do they really need to keep climbing the Black Mountain just to give the engineers some busywork?
10
11
Data: “Commander, you just vaporized the Vulcan supply convoy.”
32My phone already knows the difference between handpalm and fingertips, so that's already covered.
Although I once saw a guy shutdown a factory by sitting in the edge of a desk and they mouse that was lying there. He managed to use his behind to click shutdown and press ok on the confirmation screen. Even the most improbable will happen one day.
28I was at a party in a small apartment many years ago. I was leaning against the oven/range with my ass while hanging out in the kitchen. I managed to turn on one of the back burners high enough that it set a box of teabags on fire. We were so damn confused for a little bit.
6
Wait, is that Beverly in an engineering uniform?
6I'm pretty sure that is Patricia Tallman. She appeared on a number of Star Trek shows. She also played Lyta Alexander on Babylon5.
10
