Sinatra's Night Terrors isn't that bad actually

Am I cynical or do these always seem like weird ploys to get your personal information?

That's exactly what they are! PEOPLE, STOP SHARING THE ANSWERS TO YOUR SECURITY QUESTIONS!!!
- Who's security question is their maternal grandmother's first name? Surely anyone that knows you personally has pretty open access to that information.
- No security question ever asked my grandmother's name. Grandfather yes, but not grandmother.
- Sure no problem. My password is "secret"
  Wait what?
The next one will have you use your childhood friends first name with your fathers first car make and model
Your name after the robot uprising is your mother's maiden name and the 3 digits on the back of your credit card
- Greene 420
  Heheh
That's why I always slightly obfuscate the info. I gave my grandmother's initials not her actual name. No real use in giving up what is effectively 3 random letters.

STELLA CAN'T BREATHE

holy shit that kinda slaps

Stella Tracheitis doesn't ring quite as well though.

I Don't Remember Alzheimer's

Yo are you planning on actually using that because I will totally claim it otherwise. It genuinely gives vibes of like those long sentence-esque 2000s emo titles that were common at the time

Emma Hemorrhoid

Donna Depression has quite a ring to it.

That's a great drag name!

"We're Mary's Dislocated Shoulder, and this is our new song, 'Unbalanced Sheep'!"

Tbh, Mary's dislocated shoulder is absolutely the best one yet, and I would pay money to see them play.

Dolores' Epidural

This is better than Margaret's Colonoscopy. No one wants to listen to my band.

Linda's Annual Checkup?

I wish I could've said Linda's Prostate Exam

Karen Seizure

Karen Anxiety

What is a titty pill?

Estrogen
Edit: well HRT
- fr tho Arlene Estrogen DOES sound like a compelling emo band name

Man collecting them account recovery responses

SØ Suicidal

Dawn Epilepsy

that actually sounds awesome

Hillegonda's pink eyes.

Using my grandmother's initials I get "EMO Spinal Fracture"

A little on the nose there.

Pregnant Mary. I could see it.

Rose Sciatica

I’m more curious about grandma’s titty pills honestly.

Yeah, Pearl Suicidal Tendencies!

I could make a song outta that.

That's just the mashup of two 90's bands. Their best song must be Jeremy's Alone.

Maxine Vasectomy

Elsie Vasectomy. Cousins?

Miner Palmar Laceration.

Patsy anal fissure

Vern gastrointestinal blockage

We are brutal slamming death metal

Nina's HIV Test?

Well, what were your results?

Eunice's Rabies Shot

Sounds pretty good, actually.

Nana's Vasectomy

I love it!

Yvette Dead Tooth

That's actually really fucking metal. I love it.

Waltraud Vaccination

Brunhildes flu shot

Joy gaping wound

Sarah's CPAP Follow-Up

Betty Chest Infection

My grandmother's name was Mary

Last hospital visit was for a dislocated knee.

Taking some liberties I have:

Mary's Dislocation

Penelope pollicus contusion

Vera Snotty Baby.

Ginny Gout

Fuck yeah

Mine's Corry Gout, can I be your cover band?

Zoya Miopericarditis!

Louise Labral-Tear-and-Femoroacetabular-Impingement

It has a nice ring to it

Roberta Herpes

How the fuck did you get herpes so bad you needed a doctor?
- Fair question!
  I rarely get outbreaks at my advanced age, but I stupidly shared chapstick with someone and got a massive outbreak on my face... Went to to the doctor for some prescription ointment

Margaret bleeding in the bathroom floor

Not bad actually.

Ethel Stabbed in the arm with a compass by a meth head

Ethel Stab-Wound sounds better.
I got stabbed in the wrist in high school with a pen. The bone stopped it. What was more frightening is where my wrist was protecting - my chest/heart.
I often wonder if Chris realised how close he came to stabbing me to death in the 90s.
He was reffered to psychiatrists and social workers when he was discovered to have a "Death List" of people he planned to kill in the school.

Ann Something Weird With My Foot

Shirley Uveitis

Constance Neutropenic Fever

Well, I suppose it could be worse.

Carrie broken leg

Yo I also have a broken leg!

Maria Vasectomy

Diana Flu Shot

Ruby Hypocalcemia. Sounds a bit pretentious.

Dorothy's STI Panel

Geraldine Granuloma

Mari electrocardiogram

Rachel's Sciatica.

I like it.

Katherine's Tinnitus

Idk, Fairy Depression is alright.

Zammit Depression

Anastasia's Kidney Stones.

Maybe i should go with the fancy medical term? Anastasia's Nephrolithiasis. Could work for black metal too.

Bonnie Back-Ache

We're "I have no clue's anxiety attacks" and we're elated to play for you tonight!

Ella Psoriatic Arthritis.

I've never heard of that. Sounds like bone eczema. :(
- Psoriasis is an autoimmune disease where the immunse system overreactes to a cellular injury, causing a snowball effect as healthy cells are destroyed and further inflame the area. That can be skin, causing plaques, or it can be cartilage or bone in the joints. It's similar to rheumatoid arthritis.

Wanda Broken Leg

You people know your grandmother's first name? I genuinely don't know what it was.

Steve

Carmen Cold

Wilhelmina's shingles

Joan's Hearing Voices

Davis Strep Throat

Betty's COVID-related pneumonia with a side of bronchitis

Yeah it really rolls right off the tongue.

Lulu chronic depression

Seems like a way to gather data on people and break into their financial apps.

because everyone has their medication in their password
- Your Mothers Maiden Name, your first Car, and the Last Four Digits of your Social Security Number describes how you die:

People are so eager to share that you could probably just ask them for their passwords now. No need for all this phishing. Every good site blocks your password with asterisks anyways. Look, mine is *******************.