how do you slice it??

Everyone who’s dealt with kids knows you have to bisect the giraffe equally from nose to tail so everyone gets 2 legs, or somebody will cry that it’s unfair.

Everyone who deals with scientists knows they assume a perfectly spherical, frictionless, giraffe.
I let one cut and the other gets to pick first.
- This is the way. And from experience, it will result in sub-nanometer size differences.
Kids are total commies.
Make sure to get the same number of spots too.
- I think you mean Solomon.

Even if you think height divided by two, why even describe it that way? Giraffes are tall, but not so unfathomably tall that something half its size is incomprehensible. That’s 7-9ish feet. You couldn’t say the size of Andre the Giant?

The Youth Today don't know who that is. Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is? We may never know.
- Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is?
  Just today, I learned a handy way of visualizing the size of a giraffe. If you took that asteroid that struck off the coast of Iceland, and made a copy of it and put the two of them together, that's about the size of a giraffe.
Alex Horn wrote it.
- Sorry, I don’t get the reference and the Wikipedia page didn’t help!
People usually measure asteroids by mass (but then, those people are already abnormal, so who knows?), if so, it's something around the size of a cow.
Or maybe they could use metric...
- A big rock, maybe this is the appropriate time to use stone

This is why real scientists use the only reasonable real world measurement - a perfectly spherical cow in a vacuum.

Hmm. Thought they used bananas.
- Maybe in a shop vac.

obviously the scientists meant a spherical giraffe in a vacuum

Personally I thought it was obvious that they were talking about the outer half

Dear gods

How far will these Americans go to not use the metric system... ffs

Sadly they’re not American. Containment has been breached.
Daily Mail are the sort who think adopting the metric system let all the foreigners into Britain and led to the downfall of empire. Probably in that order.
Your bigotry has blinded you so much you couldn’t even see the two biggest, boldest words in the picture.
- Oh no; I saw it was the DM... I just assumed that the writer must have been American.
  You are SO correct, as I should have realized by the giraffe unit of measure.
  I'm at a loss as to the Venn diagram where giraffe and imperial would overlap....

americans be using anything but the metric system

Daily Mail is British
- But they're the sort of British that yearns for the good old days, when we still had shillings and inches and diphtheria and jumpers for goalposts and no womens' rights and all that great British stuff.
- British people old enough to have supported the original nazis be using anything but the metric system
I was thinking this must be metric because only Europeans with their noses firmly in the air would get it.
Its time to retire the metric system in favor of something base 12. Base 10 is for children who need to count on their fingers, base 12 is easier to divide into quarters or thirds. Babylon was right.
Americans be using metric all our lives.
- Yeah, we measure our soda in liters all the time, but only the 2 litre bottles. Other sizes are in ounces, and milk is in gallons and sometimes pints.

One standard volume giraffe of course, i.e. the volume in m³ an average giraffe would fill (at room temperature and sea level), when passed through a blender. And then half of that

The scientists had to go through many more proportionate animals before discovering that half a giraffe was a near perfect match for the size of the asteroid.
- Nah, there's a list somewhere of typical weights, dimensions, volumes, etc. of common items. They just put in their value and it pops up. They're nerds first, and scientists second. You KNOW this exists somewhere, and they all have it bookmarked.
- As it turns out, the emergence and popularization of Zoos during the Victorian era was largely driven by the work conducted at the Royal Institute for Volumetric Measurements in London.
  Similarly the expansion of the British empire was mostly driven by the need to find ever larger exotic animals in order to establish comparative volumetric weights for the ever larger ships and constructions of that era.
  "25.678 standard volume foxes", was starting to become a bit unwieldy when describing a cargo vessel's size.

Also, most people dont even have a good grasp on how big giraffes are anyways!

I once went to a zoo that had an elevated platform extending into the giraffe's habitat so that you could stand face to face with them. Their heads are as big as a normal human, like 5 feet from crown to chin!

This is what Big Giraffe doesn't want you to know
- Ah yes the Newfoundland garden giraffe, often times overlooked due to the Canadian House Hippo.
Wow!

Reads Daily Mail clickbait, proceeds to blame "scientists"

So like the size of a horse?

The average horse is about half the height and weight of the average giraffe. Giraffes are just a really bad unit of measurement, males weight about 400kg more than females and there is a wide height difference over their global population, they are technically four different species we just all call giraffe 🦒

I was just going to say, what kind of weird ass size comparison is that. It’s almost as egregious as saying “half the size of two apples”.
- The Smurfs were 3 apples tall.

I love it when I can understand your memes!

Ask questions when you do not. :)
- Oh I wouldn’t begin to know what to even ask. I’m a music major lol. But if I think of something, I’ll pipe up.

And is it half the volume, mass or a dimension? Because I've never tried neither blending or carrying a giraffe before (I never got invited to those parties in uni) so I have no grasp on volume or mass.

Surely a giraffe is nearly uniform density making the distinction between volume and mass irrelevant
- Assume a spherical giraffe.
- Even if it is not if you are just looking at the toal volume or mass it makes no difference when you halve it.
Just the left half

The Daily Mail readership will not fathom your question. It is a rag for those who would follow MAGA but want to appear intelligent without have either the natural talent or putting in any work to increase knowledge. Baseline racism is a requirement

In other words, a large boulder the size of a small boulder

I’m surprised they didn’t use immigrants as the unit.

The anatomical answer is sagitally down the midline.

I don't get why Americans are doing their best to avoid the metric system. It's always weird discriptions. Like dishwashers, or in this case, half a giraffe. Just use bananas if (cubic) meters are too complex.

Isn't daily mail in the UK?
- You mean wannabe US? (never truly accepted metric system, even discussed to change back to imperial)
  Edit: fair point though. My bad.
People enjoy when things are compared in this way, it’s really not that shocking.
- Other people (me) hate it.
- It's more of a journalist thing. They take the words out of your mouth to reach their own conclusion fast and deliver an answer that'll fit inside the allocated screen time.
  "When you heard that people use things instead of measurements to explain the size of other things, exactly how shocking was it to you?"
  They describe these random things to avoid people talking about giraffes for hours.
It's not like we don't have imperial units to use. It's just easier to visualize an object you're familiar with than 20ft/6m or whatever other unit. Giraffes is a strange choice though.
- Friends of mine are expecting a child. They have an app to compare the current size of the baby. It has the weirdest choices:
  Wedding cake (they are always the same size? Depends on the budget right? So if you're rich your child is bigger than when you're poor, when it's the wedding cake size?)
  flat box of chocolates (always the same size? Flat child?)
  small popcorn bucket
  small pinguin (there are so many differently sized small pinguïns)
  cotton candy (last one I had was huge, I feel sorry for the woman with a child that size in their womb)
  maki
  jackfruit
  rhubarb (so it's a stick shaped child?)
  kitten (a grows the most as a kitten. They are kitten for the first year. It's like saying the size of your baby is the size of a baby.)
  I have no clue what these sizes are exactly. I do know what 10cm or 20cm is.

It's not the scientists, it's a single journalist who is popping out these headlines. Some of those caught attention.

I once saw a snake half the size of a garden hose.

They could have just used inanimate objects not requiring bisection; basketballs, refrigerators, cars, busses, buildings, etc. Why bring sn abattoir into the mix?

Bilaterally as is the way.

Probably along the primary axis

You divide the giraffe vertically down the center 🤦‍♂️

Coronal or Sagittal?

The thing that's bothering me is that they ended a question with a period. Why, random person on the Internet, why?

Indeed, why would they do that.
- I don’t know?

How much is it in bananas?

Bifurcated down between the eyes

What's with the spherical comments in a vacuum?

One of the first things they will teach you in engineering design is to start by simplifying the model. So if you're trying to figure out something like the surface area is a fish you assume it's a cylinder then the math is easy. Same thing with assuming the object is in a vacuum. If you do that you ignore wind resistance and it makes the math easier. You can come back later and take the wind resistance into account.

Laterally.

Should've used bananas for scale.

Halved with a vertical cut.

Easy. Just imagine only the spots part.

Solomon’s giraffe…

Catie can STFU because she doesn't know what a question mark looks like.