Pilot dies after plane carrying nearly 200kg of SpaceX-branded cocaine crashes in remote Brazil
Pilot dies after plane carrying 180kg of SpaceX-branded cocaine crashes in Brazil
cross-posted from: https://lemmings.world/post/34031000
I thought I was clicking through to a satire site. Da fuq is this.
It can be one of three scenarios IMO:
A: Elon is being particularly dumb and actually produced and distributed drugs with his logo.
B: The Trump Regime created and planted these drugs to manufacture a reason to prosecute Elon.
C: Some drug distributor is a huge fan of SpaceX, or wants to deflect investigation away from their other operations.
...the world being the way it is, all three seems pretty damn plausible to me. 😕
I assumed it was elons personal stache for parties and shit
D: They're branding their coke the same way that MDMA pill pressers will stamp real logos on their product to market it (without permission, of course). They usually don't do this with coke, but it's not unheard of.
It's D
I remember this from Pablo Francisco's Mitsubishi Ecstasy story hehe
Probably C. Elon would be more into ketamine than cocaine.
It's a week's supply for his basic bitch business major execs
I figure it's a bit more like option C, with a bit of knockoff mentality going on. You know how you can find pictures online of super cheap knockoff merch from like China or some African countries? That's what I'm thinking is going on here.
Plane full of drugs crashes. Police are still investigating if it was involved in drug trafficking... what?
Musk switching away from Ketamine?
The cocaine is going to straighten him out and making him more normal.
I love how they have to note it was "fake space x packaging." I don't believe that for a second. This was probably elons weekend stash and he is going to be quite upset.
SpaceX W H A T
MDMA pills are often branded with various logos from all sorts of companies and IPs (without permission, of course), so I imagine it was something similar to that.
Orange teslas were great. Not seen them in about 6 six years though.
Oh phew
The plane was registered to Zambia
checks out. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Africa%E2%80%93Zambia_relations
This would actually make a lot of things start to make a lot more sense compared to any non cocaine related explanations. If it is real, it's definitely not just Elon.
Kash Patel? Stephen Miller?
oh no, Elon's weekly supply!!
Foreshadowing for the next launch.
Phew, at least the SpaceX branded ketamine got through.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do they know it's a fake spaceX packaging? Seems legit to me.
Well there goes Elon's Doordash. Definitely not getting that $10 tip now.
This is ridiculous.
Elon never tips.
Not entirely true, he'll tip if you carry his baby to term. Sometimes he'll even tip in horses.
Federal police are still investigating whether the aircraft was involved in drug trafficking
Um....
finally an article that's oniony beyond the headline
It was headed to a Coca-Cola factory. They are adding it back along with real cane sugar.
Just Teddy still funding those wars in South America.
I remember when a business jet packed to the gills with cocaine crashed and when they investigated, it turned out to be owned by a CIA shell company and previously used to shuttle people to Guantanamo for torture after an extraordinary rendition
There's a Tom Cruise movie of historical value.
Wow, the CIA sure is serious about fueling their parties INVESTIGATING DRUG LORDS
Oh my god still? Cocaine isn't cool anymore. Fent is more profitable to move. What the hell? Was The Deserter right?
Cocaine production in latin America has never been higher, it's dropped the price by huge amounts and now they are looking outside the USA to sell since the USA decided to kill their own economy.
You don't have to move fent. You can make it locally. The fent is usually mixed with other drugs, a little bit of cocaine could be laced with a whole lot of fent and then sold as pure cocaine to maximize profit.
I'm sorry?
Guess Elon's weekly shipment will be late. Probably scrambling to replace it off the streets like some kind of nose-mounted vacuum cleaner.
I wonder if it's a joke label or not
Some drug traffickers use existing brands to "market" themselves.
Here's some Afghan heroin seized and destroyed by the international coalition on the Arabian Sea in 2021:
i need to clean my glasses i thought i finally found the secret ingredient in my beaver brand mustard
Any other company and I'd probably go yeah, the dealers did that, but I wholeheartedly believe Tesla has a cocaine manufacturing department.
I was about to say, who would ever brand their cocaine, whether it was actually SpaceX or some random cartel? I would get the "brand identification" argument at the end user stage, but marking your bulk shipment of drugs just seems dumb.
Id ride in a bently, I wouldnt ride in a spacex or tesler
I only get that Johnny Chimpo branded stuff. It's Afghanistanimation!
It's real. I used to buy Nike brand ecstasy all the time.
If you have a Nike store in your town, I recommend you go in and ask for the triple stacks.
The Reverend Horton Heat prophesise!
Well, I was workin' on my farm 'bout 1982
Pullin' up some corn and a little carrot, too
When two low-flying aeroplanes, 'bout a hundred feet high
Dropped a bunch of bales of somethin', some hit me in the eye
So I cut a bale open, and man, was I surprised
Bunch of large sized baggies with big white rocks inside
So I took a little sample to my crazy brother Joe
He sniffed it up and kicked his heels, said, "Horton, that's some blow"
**Bales of cocaine fallin' from low-flyin' plane
I don't know who done dropped 'em, but I thank 'em just the same
Bales of cocaine, fallin' like the pourin' rain
My life changed completely by the low-flyin' planes**
So I loaded up them bales in my pick-em-up truck
Headed west for Dallas, where I would try my luck
I didn't have a notion if I could sell 'em there
30 minutes later, I was a millionaire
Musk ain't getting shit done anytime soon
Let's hope so!
Musk
he needs cocaine to counteract the effects of his ketamine binges.
He will be even worse when he is coming down!
That’s this cursed timeline’s equivalent of Mitsubishi MDMA pills
Fuck yeah my guy! You brought back memories...
How much of the product was in the pilot's system?
in other news: are mitsubishi and tesla involved in global ecstasy sales?
I personally have a theory that they are indeed supplying pill manufacturers with high quality presses.
Most high quality pills (not talking about contents) I have seen beeing confiscated in night clubs are branded with car or fashion brands.
So maybe they are targeting people when they have a high happy hormone output.
Like: woah that mitsubishi is making me feel soooo great and suff.
Oh god the new Tesla's are so strong.
Sounds like something marketing departments would get off on.