2y ago

Black olive birthday

128 comments

Back when I worked at Burger King in high school, there was me and a stoner running the late shift. I'm running the drive through and the guy wants a Whopper, plain but heavy, heavy, heavy, [...], heavy, heavy pickles. I push the "heavy pickles" button about 7 times. He probably said it 15-20. The stoner starts giggling and says "I'LL GIVE THIS FUCKER JUST WHAT HE ASKED FOR." He proceeds to put, easily, 100 pickle slices on the sandwich. At this point it's a pickle burger with a little meat. It goes out the window and we go about our day.
Manager gets a call about 15 minutes later. Guy calls in and asks to talk to the person who made his sandwich. Manager says "sigh, what did he do this time?" Guy says he's been eating at Burger King for 15 years and this was the first person to make his Whopper the way he wanted.
- I struggle with spices. I make it clear at every Indian/Thai places that they should pretend I am from their country in terms of spice levels. That they literally can not make it to spicy even if they tried. That I want them to gag and cough and cry just being in the same room as my food. And yet all of them fail me.
  
  At Thai places ask for "pet mak mak"
  
  Try Tibetan. It's a kind of spicy I've never experienced before or since. I'm not a huge spiciness fan, but it's totally different from the spiciness of Indian or Thai food, the spiciness of Mexican food or even the spiciness of horseradish. I do know that I took a Mexican friend to a Tibetan restaurant and he bravely ordered the hottest level of spiciness and said he totally regretted it.
- At Beeeee-kay. Have it your way.
  
  You rule!
- The only place that ever puts as many pickles as I want on my burgers is Harvey's.
  As you described, it's a pickle burger with meat.
  You would have made my fucking day, month, year with that burger.
  
  Harvey's is the best. They'll let you do almost anything with your burger lol
  
  I hold hope for you that someone makes you that perfect burger.

Just give me all the ~~bacon and eggs~~ olives you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of ~~bacon and eggs~~ olives." What I said was, "Give me all the ~~bacon and eggs~~ olives you have". Do you understand?
- Got any fried chicken?
  Best damn chicken in the state.
  Bring me four fried chickens, and a Coke.
  You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
  Four fried chickens. And a Coke.
  
  I'll have dry white toast.
  
  Jake never did get his four fried chickens and a coke.

Delicious compliance.
- My favorite kind
- Feliz compliance

As a fellow olive lover, this looks delicious!
- ❤️Olive You ❤️
- Yeah it does. I ordered pineapple and olive this weekend and they gave me like, 6 olives on the whole thing, so I'm very jealous.
  
  Oof. That sucks. I'm so sorry about your pineapple pizza.
  .... Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I hate olives, but this is beautiful
- All kinds?
  
  Yes all both of them
- Me too! I don't know what they're like for everyone else, but I find them intensely bitter.
  Olive oil is awesome, tho
- I love you and this is ugly.

As an olive hater and tomato sauce purist:
that's not even a pizza anymore.
- well it's called a white pie so i guess it never was
- That's fine, it says "pie" anyway...
- As an olive lover, it clearly said "White Pie".
- Tomato sauce purist you say...
  You realize tomatoes are not native to Europe at all? They are native to South America and weren't introduced to Italy until the 1500s. Even if you consider pizza at all to be Italian, the pizzas we know are a far cry from true Italian pizza.
  
  Was there even pre-tomato pizza though?
  
  Bread was invented in Egypt so by your standards "true Italian" pizza can't have that either.
  
  My favorite kinda pizza comes from Detroit. Runner up: Chicago. Italian style pizza isn't even in contention :P
- i love black olives but they ruin a pizza. its all i end up tasting
  
  That's one of my main problems with them, too.

Black olives matter
- BOM
  Sounds catchy.

That's actually pretty sweet.

Our olives will blot out the sun!
- Then we will eat in the shade 😌

That actually looks really tasty. Lol
I love it that there's a container with some extra olives too (i'm assuming)

I went to Olive Garden restaurant once with a friend of mine, and during dinner he made the claim that Olive Garden consumes 20% of the world's black olive supply. I couldn't convince him of how ludicrous this was even despite pointing out the measly two slices of black olive in our shared salad bowl.
- That's hilarious.
- "it's in the name, bro!"
- It's a shitty garden that causes a net decrease in the world's supply of their crop.
  Just another way Olive Garden is terrible.

in what country do pizzas cost $30? edit: damn your pizzas are either huge or expensive, here in finland a standard pizza costs about 12€ and with 25€ you get heavenly pizza made with the best ingredients baked in a wood fired oven. And i thought food here was expensive
- The same place where you can get that many olives on a pizza without paying extra, I guess.
- That's like standard price in many parts of the us for a large/XL real pizza, not like pizza hut :(
- Vegan Cheese expensive AF.
- Canada for one, a large pepperoni at my local pizza place is $28. Most of the loaded type pizzas are $35-$40 for a large.
- I live in nyc. You can get large plain pie for $18 from most places. Toppings are usually about $4 each.
  But there are expensive places. At work we ordered some pies for an in-office event last week. The guy picked a fancy place where all the pies were at least $30.
  
  Not delivered these days… if you use an app anyway.
- The US lol (I live here, can confirm)
- I went to a place on the Oregon coast not that long ago that was selling large pizzas for $43. There was nothing special about the pizza, it was not in a particularly touristy area, I don't know what they were thinking.
- That's what I thought. Imagine paying 30 bucks for a pizza in (I assume) the US and then be expected to give a six dollar tip. Brutal. I'd never order in.

I love black olives on my pizza. I'd eat the hell out of this!
- same, i dig it

Things like this restore my faith in humanity.

This looks delicious!

Much salt. ಠ_ಠ
- Eh pizza from these types of restaurants already isn't that healthy to begin with and your body can more than tank the effects of an occasional special treat like this.
  Just remember to drink a lot of water.
  
  It's salty before the 10 lbs of olives, this is gonna be like licking a salt block, regardless of the health consequences.
  Speaking of, wasn't there an article on lemmy the other day saying the studies on salt and blood pressure are not actually that conclusive?
  Uh.... Asking for a friend
- thks for your comment, sir

Olivem. Olivem all. 🥹

Delicious compliance. Also happy birthday if this is you

Is that what I need to say to get enough black olives, they always add like 2 to each slice
- I worked at subway forever ago and they trained us to put like 3 olive slices at a time per 6inch. If they asked for more we were specifically told to keep doing 3 at a time because most people feel too awkward to keep asking repeatedly. I always felt like such an asshole sprinkling them on while they stared at me in disbelief at my stinginess...
  
  Hey i just sent this to my brother saying "me at subway"
  Thanks for sharing this because now i know it's not that they aren't understanding me but that this is standard operating procedure for the workers. Ill try to have fun with it and try to make it less painful for them in the future.
  Thanks!

It's a strange thing for a person to love that much, but it'd also very sweet.
- Nah, it's salty.

Green olive pizza is best pizza.
- With jalapeno and bacon? Fuck yeah.
  
  Yum... Save me a couple slices
- Only if you add anchovies.

The whole glass? Yes, the whole glass.

I love that it's just one element of a list

Sounds like a manual similar to the ChatGPT hacks. Just repeat olive an infinite number of times.

Needs anchovies to up the saltiness.

https://lemmy.world/c/pizzacrimes
- Nah, it's a lonely birthday order. Those have immunity before the pizza criminal courts. As have "I was just cheated on" and "my pet died orders. Ohy and "fuck this sounds disgusting but I'm pregnant so this ain't even the weirdest shit I've eaten in the last week " orders
  
  Hey, a crime is still a crime even if one is granted immunity from pizza prosecution.
  
  I believe the exception is towards ordering to satisfy strong emotions. There are exceptions to the exception, but yeah. Pizza ordered to assist with the processing of significant feels is generally exempt from litigation.
- Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn't work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !pizzacrimes@lemmy.world

Now it is inedible
- Boo.
  Let the lonely birthday person eat in peace.

128 comments