beans 🫘

be me
greek philosopher
love wisdom
realize eating animals is kinda fucked up
go veg
"oh yeah well what about protein dumbass?"
plebs forgot one thing
BEANS
eat beans nonstop
all beans all the time
beans beans beans
everything starts to smell like beans
breath smells like beans
farts smell like beans

pff w/e this is wise af

fap to own wisdom
cum smells like beans

Fellow philosophers, I have just concluded a series of rigorous scientific experiments...

MOTHERFUCKER DIED FOR BEANS
https://philosophynow.org/issues/78/The_Death_of_Pythagoras
Although the death of Pythagoras hinges midway between myth and history, it hung on the weightiness of a mere bean. Whether lima, pinto, or fava was never recorded, but Pythagoras died for that bean. It was a bean which contained within it a new view of the cosmos which would infiltrate the crevices of people’s beliefs, insinuating itself into the world and persisting for more than a millennium.
[...]
There were many rules to follow if you were to be accepted into the Pythagorean Brotherhood. Fail in any of these and you were likely to be cast out from them with great ceremony. A mock funeral would be performed and you would no longer exist in the minds of the Brotherhood. One rule that could never be broken was the edict to refrain from eating beans. This stemmed partially from the Pythagorean precept that each person should strive for tranquillity and peace, savoring the harmony which mirrored the harmony of the heavens, the outer boundaries of the universe. But eat a plateful of beans and see what this brings you! The gurgling and squeezings of your intestines becomes anything but tranquil. Further, one Pythagorean goal was to purify the body and psyche so that one could return to the sun and rise even beyond the sun to the stars and the Milky Way, for which purification beans were counterproductive. But there was a deeper reason for omitting beans from the diet. It was believed that to eat a bean was akin to eating human flesh.
[...]
Suddenly Pythagoras came to a stop. A vast bean field stretched before him. He stood frozen, uncertain what to do. His eyes focused on a single bean dangling inches from his papyrus- covered feet. So true was he to his ideals that, even at the risk of losing his own life, he was unwilling to trample upon even a single bean. Staring down upon that vibrant bean, the sun low in the sky, he imagined it to be blossoming into a divine ripeness before him. And as he stood there, hesitating, contemplating his next move, his pursuers caught up with him. They lifted their weapons, and bringing the knifes down hard, spilled Pythagoras’ blood on the plants – ending his life for the sake of a bean, and for the deep wisdom immersed in that diminutive cosmic object.
- "Im not going into that field of jizz even if it kills me"
- I’d die for a bean yaknowwhatI’msaying
  Pythagoras what a weird dude.
- Patron saint of the lemmyverse
BEANS
eat beans nonstop
all beans all the time
beans beans beans
https://youtu.be/au3-hk-pXsM

I'm sorry, but cum.

You can swear on the internet. And this isn't swearing even, it's just related to sex, you know, something natural

I'm sorry, but cum.
This is what I say when I'm about to finish too soon.
- butt cum
Clean version.
- Tyfys 🙏🫡
- @fossilesque@mander.xyz could you replace the version of this on your collection so next time it's clean of censorship, a clean version to dirty up the internet a little more
It wasn't a censor, OP just got a little too excited
- 🤢🤮🤢
I'm with you. Censorship is killing my sanity. But here's the issue.
We already have content restrictions in place to "protect" under 18s whether they're mature enough or not to see porn or gore. Physical and digital media have PEGI, BBFC, etc. ISPs have parental control - the UK has Content Lock. We have parents with personal preferences for their offspring's access.
National or global censorship is useless. In their insatiable quest for power and money the corporations and governments are trying to turn the internet into a child's internet. If these are the lengths they're willing to go to, if their intentions were honest, it would surely be easier to let the adults have the freedom of adults and build a second internet for children. Maybe age lock that. Instead of killing everything consenting adults made.
This is equivalent to taking a bar, stripping out the slot machine, alcoholic drinks and erotic dancers, adding a ballpit, replacing live sports with cartoons and still checking ID at the door. Except now they want to swap ID for fingerprints.
- There are already multiple search engines only for children. It's only excuses to seize power over people.
- Just imagine the change that could go through social media platforms if, instead of censoring their content, users would just share links to platforms which allow them to freely share without unnecessary censorship.
  On the other hand I'm a bit scared of what the rich assholes would come up with instead if they can't work themselves off at the enshitification of reddit et al..
these days it's not because people are trying to censor the content from the viewer, but they're censoring from the algorithms. they want their content to be seen, and algorithms will demote content when it has profanity. probably not the case on lemmy, but this was a screenshot from somewhere
- This is also why you‘ll see/hear the verb „unalive“ and have people refer to „seggs“.
heh butt
CUM!
Some platforms do not allow swears and ocr can easily read text from images. It may feel like a form of censorship but actually enables the original original poster to circumvent censorship.

A real human bean?

And a real hero

Life
No authentic writings of Pythagoras have survived,[2][3] and almost nothing is known for certain about his life.

Cool.

Cool cool cool.

We share 70% of our DNA with an onion, some people more

We found Shrek.
They're the ones that make you cry easily

He also believed your soul carries on after death and enters a new body, possibly even an animal's.

The story that he was killed because he refused to run away through a field of beans is probably fake. There's a trope of ancient philosophers getting ironic deaths:

Archimedes being killed because he was absorbed in his geometry (he told the attacking soldier "don't disturb my circles!")
Diogenes was notorious for rejecting social norms and acting dog-like. "Cynic" comes from the Greek word for "dog". He died of food poisoning after eating raw octopus, showing you can't really live like a dog.

Typical teen: "What?? No mom, I just crushed some beans earlier, I swear!"

I have a kid I sometimes call "Little Bean" as a term of endearment.

This is not what I meant.

Well, Pythagoras wasn't so wrong either, all living beeings on Earth are descendants of the first single-celled life that formed at the beginning of the Earth, also beans and humans.

That organism came from space, we're all aliens.

I fear that this is where Lemmy and Pythagoras part ways irrevocably.

Fuck triangles. We're all into circles now. Hot bean pi for everyone!

Pythagoras it's human being, not human bean!!! Silly goose!

I mean, have you see a fetus? At some point, it looks like a bean.

I honestly love that we've all agreed to misattribute this relationship of triangles to Pythagoreas, because it's meant future generations keep learning about Greece's greatest crackhead.

'Ecce homo, qui est faba'

Huh, I was watching a YouTube video about the Sabians in Türkiye the other day and how they were Pythagorians who didn’t eat beans

https://youtu.be/L00Fyu_5GXk

He also died because when he was being chased, he refused to run through a bean field, trampling on the beans.

He used to also lecture by dressing like a girl, and sitting behind a curtain so that only his shadow would appear on the curtain. I love stories of ancient trans people. Yes they also believed in silly things sometimes, but they were just as intelligent and creative as we are. They were human in every way that we are today.

He's a pseudomythical figure and you should treat stories about him about the same way you treat a story about Moses and the like
Especially because Greek "historians" just straight up loved lying to make a good story
- I kind of believe it. I think before monotheism people were much more free and diverse in their thinking. They were more just natural to their own beliefs and human nature. The greeks and Egyptians loved culture. They loved to see about how other humans were living in the world. The most celebrated people in Athens for example were often travellers because everyone wanted to hear their stories from far off lands.
  In modern times the culture is extremely strict. Everything from your beliefs to your clothing to who you are supposed to love, is heavily policed by the culture. I think this is the main reason you can hardly find a person anymore that has any original ideas or can think rationally, or see the bigger picture. Our DNA is degenerating.

mmmm, primordial bean soup.

I'm still eating it though even if it is my (step) nXgrandmother.

It’s a shame he never had the pleasure of Bradford Pear trees in the spring. 🤢 🤮

Isn't Pythagoras also the guy who believed that farts were the soul leaving the body?

And that beans were therefore toxic and related to death.

Oh shit guys it's bean season again

bean

What kind of bean? Don't most varieties we eat today come from the Americas?

From Wikipedia "Bean":
cultivated since the seventh millennium BCE in Thailand, and since the second millennium BCE in Europe and in Peru.
So from Asia, and in Europe 4 kiloyears ago
The nine kiloyear Thai date suggests beans were among the first domesticated plants in afroeurasia

The little discussed Pythagorean Wild Conjecture.

Chat, is this true?

Possibly. It could be or it could've been invented to make some point long after Pythagoras' life

Some days...reality just beats drugs.