11 mo. ago • 96%

Wild pig-like animals are tearing up an Arizona golf course. The internet is delighted

www.salon.com Wild pig-like animals are tearing up an Arizona golf course. The internet is delighted

Unstoppable javelinas love coyote pee like it’s “bacon bits in their salad.” Here's why golf courses are peeved

78 comments

Golf course in a fkn desert. These pigs are doing humanity a favor.

159
- This was exactly my thought. Most people skimmed over the part of the article that talks about the insane amount of water used annually by these fucking wastes of space. No golf courses should fucking exist, they carve out hundreds of acres of land and wipe out tons of local flora and fauna, all so a bunch of old rich fucks can get drunk every day and hit a stupid fucking ball around.
  
  55
  
  But but but! Golf courses only used 2% of the states daily water! That's nothing!! /s
  
  9
  
  While they use reclaimed water down there the whole thing is still fucking stupid.
  
  8
- They are better ways of having a golf course in the desert. https://www.king5.com/article/entertainment/television/programs/evening/soap-lake-wa-worlds-worst-golf-course/281-99335bc7-977f-4eea-9ac5-b8fca8bd37a7
  
  5
"After doing bumps of Coyote piss" was not a sentence I was expecting to read at 5:30 in the morning.

But here we are.

61
- You gotta key I can borrow?
  
  5
  
  Nah but I got some pee you can have.
  
  3
golf is so fucking stupid

48
- Golf courses in the middle of the desert are even more stupid.
  
  23
- Hot take: It's not a sport! If a morbidly obese 80 year old can do it, it's not a sport...
  
  13
  
  If golf is a sport then so is miniature golf.
  
  8
  
  I mean, a morbidly obese octogenarian could pay rugby... Once... Briefly...
  
  5
  
  It's a glorified game of fetch with oneself. They hit the ball and then they look for it for hours.
  
  3
- Why?
  
  1
Good, I hope they tear it all up. Golf course use an insane amount of water, even when they're located in the desert or a place where droughts are common.

41
So.... I have an idea.

Maybe, if they're a problem everywhere else, people should just trap them and.... release them on the golf course.

36
- It's their natural habitat. Fuck you, Bryce.
  
  -1
  
  What'd I do?
  
  5
At our golf course they actually embrace the animals. Everyone is just stop playing if there's a possibility of hitting a deer, the pig holes are just additional bunkers, they closed a hole because of many nesting birds. If you wanna play in nature, you're just a guest.

30
- thats much different that pigs ripping up the green lol
  
  -16
I live in the general area, and yes, javelinas are a constant problem for everyone. Most peoples' yards are fenced off for that very reason.

If you're wondering what a javelina is, it's what the rest of the world calls a peccary. It looks like a wild boar. Also, don't try to get bacon bits off of it; they've got a scent gland that instantly destroys the flavor of the meat if it's pierced. (Even if the scent gland is left intact, it's a toss up as to whether you'd be able to stomach that meat.)

26
- It’s like an anti-theft ink tag. 😂
  
  33
  
  Stank tag.
  
  12
- The culinary portion of this comment seems seasoned with experience and regret.
  
  16
  
  Nah, just research. "They're pigs, right? Why don't people just cook them and eat them?" A few Google searches made the answer abundantly clear. (Also, javelinas just plain stink. It's a skunk-like odor, and who'd want to eat whatever is making that smell?)
  
  11
- Anyone with the last name "Bisbee" living in AZ should change their name. That town is a shithole.
  
  1
  
  The people who keep the name are proud of it, for some reason. Fuck if 8 know wh6
  
  2
  
  What's shitty about it? It's just an abandoned mining town tourist trap with artsy hippies living there. I mean it's not a place where you'd probably want to raise a family, but the landscape is beautiful and there are a few good restaurants and bars there.
  
  I've always enjoyed my time there on a couple of roadtrips, but maybe you know something I don't.
  
  1
- They're also called javelinas in Texas.
  
  1
When they say "wild pig-like animals" I immediately imagine some sort of gang of never before seen tribal pigmen.

23
- ManBearPig. It is half man, half bear, and half pig.
  
  11
  
  Are you being cereal?
  
  4
In a desert state like Arizona, a golf course is an abomination from the word go. Let nature have their way with it: They provided a wet paradise in the desert, and the animals come to make use of it.

22
#TeamJavelina

21
Oh no, the 30-50 feral hogs!

21
- My golf course only takes 5w30 hogs maybe that's their problem
  
  1
- It wouldn't surprise me if someone down there pulled out an assault rifle on the golf course and started blasting.
  
  1
  
  Quick way to land yourself in deep shit 2ith Game and Fish lol. Hunting is pretty well controlled here
  
  1
- They're not feral hogs. Javelina are a different species all together.
  
  1
  
  convergent bizarro new world not-hogs
  
  1
Javelinas... narrow pigs I call em. (They're Peccaries).

Not surprised they're encroaching golf courses. They were all over the desert suburbs years ago.

18
- I thought javelinas were pigs you could throw
  
  14
  
  You can if you're brave enough. Just watch out for the stink nipple.
  
  7
- As opposed to long pigs.
  
  5
Piss on your local golf course today!

17
Can confirm: Am delighted.

15
that's really unfortunate. if only the private country clubs could afford to repair the golf greens in the desert.

14
Back in my day you'd be lucky to see a javelina. Now you just want to kill em. Must be fuckin' nice!

10
- We ought to leave this world behind
  
  4
  
  If my wife were here, she'd tell you that there's a special place in heaven for animal lovers.
  
  4
- They are mean, especially if the piglets are around. I've been charged by them. Its pretty common for dogs around here to get maimed by them. You can smell them from like 200 feet away, too.
  
  2
  
  Sound a lot like boar lol
  
  2
I read that as wild pug-like animals at first. Sounded cute.

6
A large pig-like animal, most likely a pig, has wandered onto the golf course in search of food.

4
- Not just any pig. It's a skunk pig.
  
  4
  
  The odious Stank Hog.
  
  5
I can see why.

2
"Wild pig-like animals"

Soooooo.... Hogs?

"javelinas"

Oh. No. searches but boy do they sure look like it.

If only those poor desperate club members had ar-15s with 30-round magazines, then they could stop all these feral hogs from killing their ~~children~~ putting green!

2
- Javelinas are native, unlike feral hogs. https://www.nps.gov/bibe/learn/nature/javelina.htm
  
  17
  
  Javelina hides were shipped east and to Europe for gloves and hairbrushes in the late 1800's and early 1900's.
  javelina have been considered a sporting game animal in Texas
  
  Seems like there might be some cross-over options here. Come for a round of 18, pull out the 5.56 iron for dinner and a souvenir set of club covers.
  Joking aside, maybe don't put massive fields of greenery in a water stressed environment. Local herbivores might just show up and eat said greenery.
  
  7
  
  Didn't suggest they weren't.
  
  1
- Based on their choice of words, I was honestly hoping for a cryptid. Like these..
  
  6
  
  Thanks. I hate it.
  
  3
  
  Happy Halloween 🎃
  
  2
- Convergent evolution is a helluva drug
  
  2
I believe Mr. Cowdy Showdy has a lot to say about boars and the vast conspiracy behind said boars. Boars, Orcas and the Truth About 9/11

0
- Javelina aren't the same as wild boars
  
  3
It's Arizona, surely they could partner with a local gun club and solve the problem in a weekend?

Or are they protected animals in Arizona?

-1
- This is the most American response I've ever seen
  
  5
- 1, hunting is controlled. You need tags, which there's a lottery for. This golf course is without a doubt working with Game and Fish, but seeing as javelina have been making problems all over the place, hell my little town has a squadron that runs rampant through town every fall, they've got other matters to handle.
  
  Oh, and everyone who makes out the southwest to be like the Sahara are full of it. The golf courses ain't great, but the ones in Sedona are far from problems
  
  4

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