4 mo. ago • 98%

Be still my beating tastebuds

How low on avocado do you need to be to not be allowed to say that it's guac? 3.5% will certainly do it.

69 comments

Homeopathic guac.

94
- Homeopathamole
  
  23
- Seems more like sociopathic guac.
  
  5
This got me curious so I looked up the nutrition page on Tesco's website... The two main ingredients are water and tomatoes lol

INGREDIENTS: Water, Tomato, Rapeseed Oil, Onion, Modified Maize Starch, Avocado (3.5%), Soured Cream (Milk) (3%), Lime Juice from Concentrate, Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Whey Powder (Milk), Sugar, Garlic Purée, Jalapeño Chilli (1%), Coriander Leaf, Dried Egg Yolk, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Salt, Colours (Lutein, Copper Complexes of Chlorophyllins), Stabilisers (Xanthan Gum), Dried Red Pepper, Glucose Syrup, Preservative (Potassium Sorbate), Antioxidant (Ascorbic Acid).

84
- Just like mother used to make.
  
  65
  
  Gather around children and enjoy some of mamas Tesco Guacamole inspired topping
  
  12
- at least they're up front about their bullshit. unlike "american cheese" that has "pasteurized processed cheese product" in fine print. or "ice cream" with "frozen dairy product" in fine print. when i worked at starbucks we had to call it a "chocolatey chip" frappuccino instead of "chocolate chip," because the ingredients didn't fit the legal definition of chocolate
  
  i'm also impressed they called it "rapeseed oil" instead of canola oil. though maybe there are new rules about that
  
  edit: ok, "canola oil" is a stupid americas thing--i withdraw my impressedness
  
  36
  
  Honestly not sure why people get so upset about American cheese. It's just cheese with an emulsifier in it that softens it. Best burger cheese by far.
  
  21
  
  Hasn't it always been called rapeseed in the UK?
  
  As I understand it, canola oil as a term is used predominantly only in the US and Canada, with canola itself being a portmanteau of Can -adian and Oil
  
  18
  
  Here in the USA something that says "guacamole inspired" would for sure have zero percent avocado lol
  
  11
  
  Canola is a North American thing. AFAIK the British are familiar with the term "rapeseed" and don't need the rebranding.
  
  10
  
  I think that's the difference between UK law and US law
  
  4
  
  In Swiss, Milk alternatives like oat milk, aren't allowed to contain "milk" in the name, because they're not milk.
  
  2
  
  "american cheese” that has “pasteurized processed cheese product” in fine print. or “ice cream” with “frozen dairy product” in fine print
  
  Maybe this is just because I live in Wisconsin where the dairy and alcohol lobbies are both extremely strong, but most not-icecream is labeled as a "frozen desert" and those terrible plastic Impersonations of cheese also aren't labeled as cheese at all.
  
  Granted the graphic design does a ton of the heavy lifting. On the "frozen desert" it shows a scoop of ice cream in decidedly ice cream like packaging and says the flavor really huge, then in much smaller print below that "frozen desert" and I think Kraft Singles just shows a picture of cheese and the branding without actually specifying what the product is
  
  2
  
  Actually Canola is a stupid Canadian thing thought up so they could sell it to stupid Americans.
  
  1
- So it's green ketchup!
  
  9
  
  Sugar is not nearly high enough on that ingredient list to be ketchup, but it'd be nice if it wasn't there at all. I mean it already has cornstarch. And why they include a miniscule amount of glucose syrup on top of their sugar is beyond me. Must be because it's in the ingredients of some other processed food that they're using to make this one.
  
  1
- Lets play spot the hidden corn syrup.
  
  Modified Maize Starch
  
  There it is!
  
  7
  
  Is that what it means? Ha, I always assumed that was a thickener or something.
  
  1
- That actually doesnt sound too bad. Though I'm surprised with the artificial colors that this is what went with.
  
  3
- Except it has sour cream another dairy products in it. Those don't belong in guacamole under any circumstance. Even tomato is iffy and shouldn't really be in there.
  
  0
Memories of Guacamole™

51
- I'm sure that's a farrow and ball paint colour.
  
  6
- Can’t find the one where they added a fourth panel
  
  4
  
  2
  
  Whoah, I remember all the catchy "not butter" related margarine names. I guess "I can't believe it's not butter" must have consumed them all before today in some act of greasy cannibalism.
  
  2
“I can’t believe it’s not Guac”

38
Finally, millenials' financial troubles are over!

24
"I can't believe we're legally not allowed to call it guacamole"

20
Reminds me of "fruit drink with natural flavors." Not actually juice, just juice adjacent.

15
🤮

11
- Which are you not into? "Creamy" or "zesty"?
  
  9
  
  "Inspired"
  
  12
I saw "tortilla chips with avocado", it had %0.04 dried avocado powder in it. So lower than that?

10
- Anytime they say its "with" its like homeopathic level
  
  4
Be inspired.

10
- Topping
  
  9
I mean I drink oatmilk, and I think it'd be perfectly reasonable to say "milk-inspired drink," but yeah... looking at the ingredients I'd stick to guac or plain avocados, unless cash is real tight.

10
The worst part of this is the lack of hyphen

8
- "Yeah I dunno, Jake...I was just this very moment enjoying this bomb-ass salsa when it hit me...this epiphany just washed over me...I think I want to be a power bottom."
  
  pauses putting guac covered tortilla chip in mouth "...o...ohmigawd...you're not gonna believe this, Mike..."
  
  2
At least it's good for people who are allergic.

8
- Allergic to what? It's still got avocado in it, just not a whole lot
  
  5
  
  oh well, if it has everything real guac has, that wauld be useless. some people can't eat guac because of the lemon, but i doubt they removed that.
  
  2
Imitation tree fruit emulsion

5
/shrug. Albeit with low expectations, I'd try it.

2
Food™

2
How inspiring is guacamole?

2
- It inspires me everyday.
  
  If guacamole didn’t exist, I wouldn’t want to get out of bed
  
  2
Not sure even British. Saw Tesco on an aboringdystopia post.

Yes.

2
Guac La Croix

2
Props to them, though, for keeping equal text size for the title so it's not as easily mistaken for actually guacamole.

Edit: or rather pretty close in size

2
Is this like the whole wasabi thing where cheapskates use horseradish instead?

-4
- Almost everyone outside of Japan uses horseradish, not just cheapskates. There isn't very much real wasabi.
  
  15
- Not sure why you're being downvoted. Real wasabi IS expensive and hard to source.
  
  1
- *everyone
  
  1

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