Anyone so concerned with presenting as masculine at every possible turn is immediately sus as being closeted to me. Just eat the damn banana like a human. Or like a monkey, which is what I do. I peel it from the bottom.
And as a gay person, any time someone says being gay is a choice, it screams to me that they are at least bi and suppressing those urges and impulses.
real men don’t have time to waste peeling bananas. you either smash it on your forehead and eat the nutrients as they slide down, or you eat the whole thing in one bite.
Right? Like there's one category of people that could make a choice. Pretty suspicious that this self-evident thing people can figure out about themselves is somehow a big gray area to that kind of conservative.
In a room full of republicans, proper practice would be to first loudly yell that you hate bananas, then to sneak a banana into the bathroom and deep throat it while crying and then go back into the room and accuse someone else of deepthroating bananas in the bathroom.
Like JD Vance, he may be tricked into thinking he's gay when, in reality, he's totally straight. All straight people accidentally think they're gay sometimes, right?
In home ec class in middle school we watched a food network video about making stuffed hotdogs where they took a straw and cored a hotdog out and then filled it with white, melted cheese from a piping bag. They squeezed too hard and it jetted out the other end and the camera was perfectly positioned to catch the hotdog's thick ropes. Then they played it back in slo motion. The class was very amused.