I Even Gave My Life To Jesus In Their Parking Lot

How do you give your life to Christ in a parking lot?

Is it supposed to read like he got banged in the ass for some crackers or am I just fucked in the head?

What a pathetic fucking culture.

Super pathetic.

What exactly are they pissed about? Yeah, the new design looks like ass, but what's woke or even political about that?

It's the original logo
The CEO is a woman! WITH GLASSES!!!
It's a day ending in Y, and they needed their daily outrage, so they can get their Dopamine fix.
Woke is anything you don’t like.

"Anything that I don't like is woke" word has lost meaning.

What, like he got crucified in their parking lot?

I hope so

This is such a stupid "controversy." I highly doubt that a company that has built itself on being old style southern has gone "woke," they just adjusted their logo - like EVERY OTHER corporation in America.

Look at the big Pylon outside of your local shopping center, the one with all the store logos listed on it. Nearly all of them are basically the same - their name inside of a rectangle. The only differences are the variables like the font, the font color, the background color, borders, drop shadows, etc. And that's it, just the company name in some font, in some color, on a background color. Things like hand-written fonts (Coca-Cola, Ford), odd shapes (Chevrolet), mascots (the Cracker Barrel Geezer), etc., are all out these days.

In fact, Cracker Barrel's new logo goes a little outside the norm with the odd shape.

This is just a corporation doing what corporations do. Why is this any of MAGA's business?

No woke? Back to picking cotton then. But just for this guy!

So now American corporations have to get permission from MAGA to change their logo?

I'm about to expand my business from a tourist city to a big HCOL city, and I want to rebrand it in the new city, with a new name and logo. Do I need to apply for MAGA permission first? Does Don Jr have to sign off first?

now that I've been forced to hear about this shit halfway around the globe, can someone tell me what's the significance of the bean-like shape of the original's background?

it echoes the shape of a baby in the womb or some shit, probably (retroactively decided by the general public)
- seems like it has been referred to as kidney bean so that's what I'm gonna go with, not that it matters much anymore. at least until they inevitably bring it back

I mean does anyone else remember the story about Cracker Barrel refusing to seat black families, or is that just me?

I mean aside from it basically being in the name and having never seen a non pink person there... ever, there's these
2004... https://sanfordheisler.com/case/discrimination-harassment/cracker-barrel-race-discrimination-class-action/
https://aaregistry.org/story/restaurant-chain-admits-racism/
2025... https://aflegal.org/press-release/america-first-legal-calls-for-federal-and-state-investigations-into-cracker-barrel-over-unlawful-and-discriminatory-employment-practices/
But like I said it's in the name dude. If you don't look like a cracker they'll put you over a barrel.
i don't remember it, but i believe it.
https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna5955056
I remember. So was Denny's
- in the 90s there was a Denny's near me. When you were just in the door, in front of the counter, if you looked up, there was a swastika drawn on one of the ceiling tiles. It was, reportedly, there for like 4 months. Thing is, you basically would have to work there, or do this in a way the employees would definitely see. So they were cool with it.

I'm not an American and I've only seen this logo a couple of time but I'll be completely honest - this remodel fucking sucks.

I despise minimalism and these transitions from oldschool cool to these post-modernist corporate garbage. And that's definitely one.

What is “woke” about this branding exactly? Are square minimalist logos more empathetic to minorities somehow? They seriously just use woke to describe anything they don’t like. Woke is to conservatives as bogus was to 90s surfer dude stereotypes.
- They are getting rid of the old school Americana vibe they had.
There's nothing good about the new logo... but there is so much wrong with the old logo. This is a vast improvement, but it sure as fuck isn't going to get me into a Cracker Barrel.
"Utter woke nonsense" - Some boomer
I feel very opposite and really appreciate the minimalist in this case. I don't always, but I just don't think the old logo was aesthetically pleasing at all.
what that's why everyone is bitching about it? like THAT?? how is that "going woke"? i guess woke is when you sans-serif.
- Its woke because they took the cracker off. They are erasing crackers
- I mean it still has serifs its just losing the old guy, the barrel, the outline and the flourish on the K
  Honestly, I can see why an old guy with his hand in a barrel might be off putting for a restaurant theme
- I never said it's going woke, don't throw me into that box.
Logo matches the food now, it's perfect.
If they had removed the old timer and the barrel but left the asymmetrical shape behind the text just as it was, then they might have been on to something.
- I really like the geezer with his drum to be frank!
I hate it as well, my theory is that it's done for better readability on small screens such as phones.
- I think a lot of minimalism is coming from the point of accessibility in general. Shit used to be too convoluted.

The real positive to take away from this is Cracker Barrel is dogshit food, and there's so many other equivalent dogshit chain restaurants usually located in the dogshit vicinity of a Cracker Barrel, that you can still eat dogshit, and not have to go inside a new, modern, dogshit Cracker Barrel.

... Just go to Applebee's or Chili's. It's the same dogshit.

Can we also offer another option called “respecting yourself” and ordering a pizza instead?
whoa whoa whoa stop right there chilis today is freaking awesome

As a European, I don't know what Cracker Barrel is, and I couldn't care less.

Go with that.
sorry sir, but on an american thread, your sposed to say 'could care less"
Most Americans don't care either honestly.
- NO American cares about this, even the ones who are whining about it. They don't give a rat's ass, it's just an opportunity to be performative about...something.
I ate there once and it was horrible. It takes a ape isl kind of incompetence to be bad at breakfast.
- *special
  This was far more difficult than it should've been.
- Are you ok?
The old man goes to one once in Frasier.

Another chapter in "Everything i do not like is woke"

The new design is minimalistic slop, for sure. But why would i give a fuck about a companies logo. Honestly we should not even be reacting to this bait.

It’s not just the logo, they’re remodeling the inside to be more “modern”. The kitschy americana vibe was the only reason people go there.

The classic White Trash aesthetic doesn't play like it used to.
According to people I know who worked in the kitchen there, the correct reason to go to cracker barrel is actually their biscuits and gravy.
The cheapest way for them to make 'em is from scratch. Everything else is premade bags and mixes, but the biscuits and gravy are made fresh a few times a day.
It sure as fuck it wasn't the food!

This isn't "woke", this is the corporate trend of oversimplifing logos no matter how much people liked the old ones.

I'm confused. The new logo is great, or it's shit, I don't care. But what does it have to do with wokeness? Did the old man sitting by the barrel start sucking dick on the billboard? Has he transitioned? Does the new logo secretly spell out black lives matter in invisible ink? It's just the name in a sort of blob? How is this political? What am I missing here?

But what does it have to do with wokeness?
See this handy guide for the way these dipshits think.
- Austin A-series - small foreign engine. Definitely woke.
- At this point it's just that a thing changed from "back in my day."
They took the orange man off their logo. This is obviously a statement against Trump and therefore woke.
Snowflakes getting their feelings hurt because pictures change
Perhaps he feels the original logo depicted a white cishet male, and thus the new one is erasure.
- Come-on everybody knows that barrel is full of dildos pickled in anal lube.
Woke doesn't mean anything specific more, it just means "thing I don't like." So when somebody says they want to end wokeness, they mean they want to remove everything they don't personally approve of.
- I've been messing with the idea of stealing this from them. Just call everything I don't like woke 🤷🏾‍♂️
  Racism is woke now. Misogyny is woke. Conservative Christianity is woke. Trump is woke. Just give them the whole word and confuse the hell out of everyone.

I have no idea if this actually matters but, as a former printer, the new logo is easier and cheaper to produce. The print plates will be cheaper and the lack of thin lines mean it will be more durable too. The wide open spaces mean that the alignment between the brown and orange doesn't need to be perfect anynore (less waste).

It might be a terrible design for a logo (I don't know, not my area) but it's a good design for printing.

I mean yeah, but as a consumer I don't want to look at a bunch of bland logos with no detail everywhere I go. It's boring. I don't care how hard they are to print. People have been printing complicated shit for decades. Figure it out. (Not you figure it out, them figure it out).

This is like, the first time I agree with the Right on something.

Not that it's woke, but that the rebrand is terrible.

Wtf does « gave my life to Christ » means in that situation? Did mf get baptized in the parking lot??

He fucked the dishwasher behind the dumpster
i think he gave a life altering blowjob in that parking lot
- To Jesus?
Swallowed for the lord.
Got engaged to a guy in the parking lot. That's my made up story and I'm sticking to it.
Can someone seriously answer this question. I'm losing my mind over here. WTF does it mean?
Got shot by someone named Josh
Maybe it rained a lot and dumpsters were water tight back in his day.
~~Only Baptists baptize~~, and it's literally dunking your whole body into water. We had a huge tub behind the pulpit, it was about three feet deep and 12'x8'. I can't imagine that happening in a Cracker Barrel parking lot, unless it's one of those pool-in-a-pickup-truck-bed situations.
"Giving your life to Christ" is basically what it sounds like. An often emotional moment in which you make a personal commitment to the Biblical idea of Christ and his teachings. Think of it like an epiphany.
Edit: my bad guys, I got the terminology wrong about which sect of bigots have wet tshirt contests.
- Only Baptists baptize
  No, absolutely not. Baptism is arguably the most important sacrament for all christian churches! Where I'm from, the catholique baptism is typically done for babies by gently pouring water on their forehead. Ofc it's less spectacular than the "full immersion" baptism by the Baptists (also used by the pentcotalists as well btw).
  But anyway, none of that make sense to be done in a parking lot. Reading the other comments, I like the idea that the dude got suddenly touched by grace after eating a gross fish meal at Cracker Barrel!
- Only Baptists baptize
  Uh, can you clarify what you mean by this?
- I was baptised in the Church of England.
- Baptisms aren't just a Baptist thing, though they generally put more weight behind it than most other denominations that do it. At least from what I've seen.
  I was Pentecostal growing up, and a few times a year- generally around Christmas and Easter- they'd do an open baptism and anyone who wanted could get dunked. I went to one church without that big tub behind the pulpit you're talking about- they'd do it in the river nearby. Cold as hell in the winter.
  Basically every brand of Christianity that I'm aware of has some form of baptism, though the exact way it's done varies a lot.
  Matthew 28:19 is, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit"

That wasn’t Jesus in the parking lot, man.

Sure it was. But it’s spelled Jesús, and he was just an immigrant trying to make a better life for him and his family back home in Mexico.

The new one

He was right. Jesus would never tolerate this. Time to flip some barrels.
- It's on like Donkey Kong!
Tbf the old logo is much better
- It's following the modern trend of flat clean lines. I'm getting rather sick of it TBH
- It's better in some ways, worse in others. It's shit for a thumbnail, for example. The old one stand out more, but the new one is more readable and fits into any format.
- Yeah, I think so too. I don't see why they had to change the font, at least the C had character. Now it's the most boring plain forgettable font imaginable and black at that. It's like they didn't even try.
Lmao they got rid of the cracker and the barrel
- The barrel is still there. The background is a barrel.
What? How is this any « woke » even for the MAGA lunatics ??
[edit]: Apparently the company had a diversity / non-discrimination campaign in recent years. It explains.
- Anything they dont like is "woke"
- They had a DEI/nondiscrimination campaign because of several high profile stories where restaurants were accused of racism (black diners being asked to move away from seats visible from the entrance, at least one black person being told "we don't serve your kind" or words to that effect.)
Ugh I can just SMELL the WOKENESS. If I look at this ANY LONGER I might be AWOKENED
I mean, it's less visually noisy, but that's it?
This dude's willing to go to arms over this?
- It makes the size of the logo versus the text look like nothing but wasted space. Hell, versus the text portion, it looks like MORE extra space is used than the old logo, ony with zero charm or familiarity to show for it.
  If they wanted to re-brand as a truck-stop, merge with Love's, don't just rip-off their color-scheme minus the Heart.

I remember getting on my knees for Jesus in the cracker barrel parking lot.

Life made so much more sense once his warm love filled me.

_{To each their own.}

The new logo is definitely worse, I'll give them that.

Just typical corporate mediocrity.

And someone probably got paid thousands for that new logo.
- Probably more than thousands. I bet there were focus groups involved too.

Conservatives crying buckets of tears over a corporation's new logo is my kink.

The heraldry of corporate feudalism is no laughing matter for capitalist serfs.

weird way to brag about getting a blowjob in the parking lot but whatever i guess

New logo blows. Cracker Barrel food is a quarter step above pig slop.

fin

During lockdown my team was "mandatory local support" so we got take out lunch paid for 2 days a week day. Friday was cracker barrel day since it was close and filled us up enough for an "average Friday workload". Mainly lazy days not wanting to get out of chairs due to "CB gut". Cracker barrel will forever be "cinder block gut" to me now.

But ehh, another dumb rebranding freakout that doesnt matter. You are still buying slop to go in your belly.

Edit: Cracker Barrel was my shit when my family would do road trips. On one we drove past the state capital and my dad said "hey look at it!". There was a cracker barrel roadsign on the highway and I screamed out "let's get cracker barrel!"

All these black people thinking Trump will help their careers 😂

Do we know if this is a real person or an AI "black person"?
Edit: He's right, he's a trumper.
- Neither. It's a white conservative piece of shit pretending to be a minority. It's been around far longer than "AI".
- Yes

Cool story, bro. Where are the Epstein files?

I mean.. was there anything else to understand there?

Southerner here:

Cracker Barrel is literally the worst restaurant I have ever been to. By far.

It was years ago, and I got fried fish and mashed potatoes, and it was so bad I couldn’t eat it. I am not picky: I have never skipped a plated meal at a restaurant, or even at home unless I’m deathly ill. But it was like a tv freezer dinner someone had dipped in water.

…And this is bizarre, as you have no idea how much food is part of the culture down here. Maybe it’s because my family in the south is suburban, not rural, but I have no earthly idea how that chain would get idolized.

I went to cracker barrel semi-regularly growing up. Imo, it is pretty good. Certainly better than fast food or, like, a Chili's. Maybe their food quality has diminished in the decade since I last ate at one. But iirc, they had good pancakes, mashed potatoes, and mac and cheese. The hash brown casserole and country fried steak were the reasons to enter the building, plus the gravy. Plus you could play checkers while you waited for your table.
I had the fish one time and also found it to be not great.
- Maybe fish wasn’t their strong suit? Hmmm.
  And man, Steak and Shake or Raising Canes or Rosas are great. Way better than the biggest chain restaurants TBH.
I went to one couple of years ago. Order a chicken fried steak dinner. Fucking thing was tiny, and only got one scoop mash potatoes. It was shit to. Glad I wasn't paying, and have no plans on returning.
Their pancakes and hashbrowns slapped when I was a kid. Has it just gotten worse or do I have rose tented glasses because of how old I was at the time?

When I think of fixtures, I think of Cracker Barrel, too! Because I spent about 2.5 days staring at my bathroom fixtures expelling demonic essences from my bowels after contracting food born illness from a meal I ate there.

What kind of food do they have? Other than barrels full of crackers
- Southern comfort foods such as the Chicken-fried Steak
- It's like decent cafeteria food.
- The one time I went like a decade or two ago they had barrels full of candy in their gift shops though. So at least there are barrels.
- Looks like American/Southern food: https://www.crackerbarrel.com/menu
- It's kind of a southern homestyle restaurant. So, like, you can get fancy grits and country fried steak and biscuits and gravy.

The new one makes the size of the logo versus the text look like nothing but wasted space. Hell, versus the text portion, it looks like MORE extra space is used than the old logo, ony with zero charm or familiarity to show for it.

If they wanted to re-brand as a truck-stop, merge with Love's, don't just rip-off their color-scheme minus the Heart.

I don't mind it, CB's food ain't great either, though.

Oh is that what they're calling giving a wristy these days?

They are so upset by the dumbest, most asinine things... Meanwhile, not a word can be spared for America's concentration camps.

its because they're all perpetually online in a twitter bubble

MCBGA just rolls off the tongue.

It’s not the tongue it rolls out of.

Traitor.

Not all skinfolk are kinfolk if thats what your gettin at