What's the most annoying non-violent curse to put onto someone?
What's the most annoying non-violent curse to put onto someone?
May you have to deal with people like yourself for eternity.
53ReplyThat's a clever curse, because if you're a good and thoughtful person you have nothing to worry about
Although if you struggle with mental health it may be.. a bit rough
22ReplyFor real!
I have autism, and I swear, dealing with other neurodivergant people is a true pain in the rear. It really puts it into perspective just how frustrating I probably am when my condition makes me into the world most dense and forgetful person in the room. I know I hate it when other people act the way I sometimes do subconsciously.
4Reply
May you have to deal with people like yourself for eternity nonstop.
so no pause or sleep.
3ReplyMaybe, we don't know how violent the guy is.
4Replybut what şf I am eepy? Do I deal with sleepy people tjat can't sleep and I can't sleep either?
1Reply
Your socks will never feel dry again.
27ReplyHey! I wanted to say this. 😡
8ReplyTo me? 😦
9Reply
Just one sock. And it switches when you start to get used to it, like a plugged nostril.
5Reply
May you have the life that you deserve
24ReplyOuch
8Reply
May you start every sentence with "Like,"
20ReplyLike whyd you have to do that? Like its so annoying!
8ReplyScoob!
2Reply
May one shoelace be permanently tighter than the other just enough to be annoying.
18ReplyHow does that work for shoes without laces?
3ReplyThey get incurable cancer
6Reply
Wow, you are a particular kind of cruel.
3Reply
Make them use Microsoft products.
18ReplyMay you never find the short edge of your blanket at night.
17Reply🖕
7Reply
May the other side of your pillow be always warm.
16ReplyMay your children be just like you.
Unforgivable. Should have just killed me.
16ReplyMay your Tupperware and zip locks never fully close, click, snap or seal.
May mosquitos find your skin the rarest of delicacies while rendering others around you uninteresting to feed from.
May your front teeth be magnetic to food particles that are extra adhesive so you almost always have food stuck between your teeth.
May your tires always look deflated to others despite being full so you are constantly pointed at on the freeway and stoplights by other drivers.
May you compulsively jig any time you hear any music for a minimum for 30 seconds.
May you be unable to type so you are forced to handwrite everything. May you work for the IRS who accommodates your technological disability.
May people never find anything you say funny but they always give you halfhearted courtesy laughs.
May any TV channel or streaming station have no content other than Con Air on loop.
May you always get birthday cards, invitations and presents at least a month off from your real day.
May all your furniture squeak incessantly.
15ReplyMay you receive the respect you deserve.
15ReplyMay your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!
13ReplyYou are a monster.
2Reply
Every 24 hours, at noon, small rock appears in one of the shoes they are wearing.
They will grow a 5 inch translucent hair from the top of one ear every time they drink coffee.
15 minutes after they ride a bicycle they will have violent diarrhea with 5 minutes of warning signs.
Alcohol has no effect on them.
Every time they turn the steering wheel of their car further than 5°, their turn signal indicates the direction that the wheel turns.
They can hear what their dog or cat is thinking over any distance, but it is only a stream of consciousness because the animal is incapable of understanding that their thoughts are being heard.
13ReplyAlcohol has no effect on them.
You're going to have to try again for this one.
- a teetotaler
5Reply
May your butthole itch after every shower
13ReplyMay you have to take a donkey dump 10 minutes after every shower.
14ReplyOh shit I've been living under this one.
4Reply
May you step in dog shit every day and be oblivious until it's pointed out by someone else.
12ReplyYou always feel like you have to sneeze
12ReplyYou woke up every morning with a mosquito bite on your nether region.
12ReplyGood God! He said non-violent, man!
8Reply
May your day be as pleasant as you are.
12ReplyOne that makes your sense of hearing lag behind your sense of sight by a second.
11ReplyAh, the pulseaudio bluetooth curse. Counterspell: pipewire
13Reply
May you live in interesting times.
10ReplyThat can get violent very easily. "Guess what, you'll be in the middle of the most interesting war in history because it was the one that caused the most bloodied carnage and most suffering, ever."
2Reply
May all your condiment packets fail to tear open neatly.
May your internet connection be inconsistent and plagued by outages.
May all your farts be wet and untrustworthy.
10ReplyAll of their drawers are missing the thing that keeps them from pulling all the way out so they end up yanking the drawer all the way out every time
10ReplyMine never had those anyway. It's not at all bad once you expect it.
3Reply
Every liquid product that you try use (glue, shampoo, toothpaste, etc) will be clogged with the dried product requiring a small pick to clear the clog before use.
10ReplyNSFW: The latest Oglaf is relevant: https://www.oglaf.com/flypaper/
9ReplyMay your socks be forever wet
9ReplyMay all animals you try to pet run away from you in fear.
9ReplyEvery bedsheet you ever buy will get terrible pilling within a month (even the expensive ones!)
8ReplySo cruel! I like it.
3ReplyOh not the pilling!!
2Reply
You fart uncontrollably for 30 seconds whenever you see someone you find attractive
8ReplyMay flies regularly fly past you next to your ear.
8ReplyI kinda like the only-mildly-violent ones, like "I hope you step on a Lego!"
8ReplyMay your taint be rubbed raw every time you exercise, no matter how well manicured it may be.
8ReplyTo bite your cheek in the same place over and over just as it starts to heal
7ReplyMay you get the hiccups every time you need to be calm or confident.
6ReplyMay every shirt you wear have an itchy tag you can't remove.
6ReplyMay your toilet seat be forever frozen.
5ReplyOr oddly hot... like someone's only just finished a 15 minute blow out
6ReplyYou son of a bitch.
I'm in.
4Reply
May your toilet paper forever tear lengthwise.
2Reply
I hope you step on a lego block
5ReplyThat is violent...very violent
8Reply
You will always feel a hair on your tongue!
You will always feel like something small is crawling on you!
5ReplyMay the floaty things always stay at the edge of your vision.
5ReplyGet a tax bill
4ReplyYou shit yourself every time someone says something dumb on the internet
4ReplyThat actually would kill someone from violent diarrhea. Lol
7Reply
Randomly appearing pebble in their shoes
4ReplyAn arch cramp for 2 minutes every day at a random time.
2ReplyYou mean this spasm pain in the foot? Damn, they are annoying!
4Replyor a jaw cramp.
Ideally while you need to explain something important
2ReplyOoof. Or that thing in your chin just under your tongue.
1Reply
May your PC crash every time you're almost done with your work.
May you always be too hot with the blanket on and too cold with the blanket off.
May a lightbulb in your house go bad every month.
May everything you put on your wall be slightly crooked.
May every bed you sleep on be either too soft or too firm to be comfortable.
May the garbage bag always rip when you go to take out the trash.
May your left headphone always be slightly quieter than your right one.
May sh!tstains be left on your toilet every time you flush.
May all the toilet paper you use in public bathrooms be 1 ply.
May you always stutter right before making a very strong point in an argument.
2ReplyJust be annoyingly cute and nice to them. Like, exrremely.
2ReplyAnd what to do with all unicorn blood that's soon to spoil? Just gift it to them? I don't think they'd feel it's a nice gesture it is.
2Reply
You will never take a shit again..
-1ReplyMy grandfather died that way. I wish I was joking. This one is definitely violent.
1Reply
I hope you die alone and without kids.
-2Reply