"Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

I used to hate asparagus, but turns out it's because my mom and grandma would always boil it.

Pro-tip: don't do that, it's awful.

The real reason is that unhealthy food contains ingredients that were rarer for our ancestors to obtain. Dense caloric food meant surviving a winter, but our winter never comes.

My mom after feeding me canned green beans for years watching me wolf down green beans at my house

"You hated veggies when you were a kid."

...sure, mom

No! Salt kills you, cooking kills vitamins and when you think you do everything right, then your vegetables don't have good enough quality and don't have enough nutritients. Eating healthy means to suffer, deal with it!!! /s

White people conquered the whole world looking for spices and then decided they didn't want to use any of them

Because you are designed to seek out salt and sugar as a survival trait; then decided to mass produce it and put it into everything. Now your tastebuds have been ruined, even the standard apple/banana has been genetically modified to have more sugar

"Oh my God!"

Who is God's God?

"Oh my God!" - God

I think God is, by definition, an atheist, though, since God must not believe in a higher power.

I'm lazy so here's lazy delicious veggie tip:

Get a rice cooker. Get rice and FROZEN pre-processed (chopped) veggies. These are still very inexpensive, require no preparation, last forever in the freezer, and are actually FRESHER than "fresh" veggies, since they are picked when ripe and then flash frozen rather than picked prematurely and sprayed with a ripening agent. Your rice cooker should come with a veggie tray so you can cook the rice and veggies simultaneously. Drop them in there and fire it up. Get yourself some "simmering sauce" and heat it up in a pan for ~15 minutes and baby you got a stew goin'.

God saying "oh my god"

Never forget, wars were fought for spice. people died to not have to consume bland food.

and yet you pass the spice aisle every grocery visit, shame.

;)

I still don't understand why the cooking skill of my parents sucked this bad. I started cooking on my own when I moved out and even after just a bit of practise and good recipes you can cook tasty meals. How do you go on 50 years failing this, I don't understand. If I see another bowl of dry rice, canned peas and ready marinated chicken from some discounter I'm going to throw up.

So the question is...

Who was he referring to when he said "oh my god"?

I just spent Thanksgiving with my family, and was reminded how much my parents love boiling things. Fucking disgusting, no spices either? Fuck bland potatoes. It takes almost no effort to just toss a bunch of fucking spices on them and then put them in the oven.

Anybody trying to tell me that sauteed veggies taste as good as a hamburger has lost from the beginning.

Also don't boil your vegetables. I was raised in boiled broccoli and sprouts, and steaming baskets changed my life!

Seriously though I’m amazed at how many people don’t understand basic cooking and how easy and necessary it is to take interest in self health and basic nourishment. But then get shocked when their organs start to shut down before 50. Like “omg they are trying to kill us all with salt and sugar in fast food” shouldn’t be a shock anymore. It’s capitalism. That’s how it works. They don’t care about your body.

Steam broccoli and cauliflower together in a microwave or steamer of your choice with butter and whatever seasonings you like. Toss in a wok with ripping hot olive oil until golden brown on the edges. Make sure to be rough with the broccoli and cauliflower, you want it to be crushed a bit. Shit slaps and it so easy. Idk if it's healthy anymore after all the butter and oil but whatever. you can adjust the butter levels as needed but make sure there's enough oil in the wok

Sauté it in what, God?

...

Sauté it in what?

All these air fryer, broiler, sautéing, and other methods...

Y'all forgot about microwaves. Microwaves and veggies are amazing. Broccoli, carrots, etc. Microwave until a fork still has a little resistance. Add a spot of sour cream or honey and dill... Or something. Tada. So fast. So yummy.

Image Transcription:

A four-panel Mr. Lovenstein comic titled "THIS COMIC MADE POSSIBLE THANKS TO EELS OF WOOD"

The first panel shows an angry pink humanoid standing on a green circle, holding a bunch of asparagus spears and speaking to a yellow-skinned, bearded humanoid barely in the panel. The pink humanoid is saying "HEY GOD, WHY DID YOU MAKE HEALTHY FOOD TASTE BAD?"

The second panel shows the yellow-skinned, bearded humanoid in more detail. It has a halo and is wearing a white robe. It's rolling its eyes angrily as it responds "OH MY GOD! DO I HAVE TO SHOW YOU EVERYTHING?"

The third panel shows the still-angry yellow-skinned humanoid cooking the asparagus spears in a frying pan over the open flame of a gas stove as the pink humanoid watches on amazed. The yellow humanoid is saying "SAUTÉ 'EM AND DON'T FORGET THE SEASONING! STIR AND TASTE AS YOU COOK!"

The final panel shows a close-up of the pink humanoid holding a half-eaten asparagus spear with its mouth full and eyes wide in awe as it says "IT'S... DELICIOUS!" A response from off-screen replies "OF COURSE IT IS!"

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Why not link the actual artist's website so they can get some revenue? Plus, there's usually a hidden panel for his comics.

Oh, god's one of those assholes.

Ok but why sugar taste so good

Correction: Why is tasty unhealthy food so much easier than tasty healthy food?

Raw veggies taste great, we're just used to tasting nothing but salt and sugar in our food these days we think veg tastes bad.

Cuddle fish and asparagus...or vanilla paste?

https://mrlovenstein.com/comic/1155

Here's a direct link to the artist's page.

Finally, a comic by Mr Lovenstein with positive message!

This comic is old

Frying anything makes it taste better. Deep frying makes almost anything edible delicious.

Permanently Deleted

I've had properly sauteed and spiced asparagus and it still tastes awful to me. I'm just very sensitive to the bitter compounds in it.

This is what the Bible should have been about.

Cook nearly any veggie in shallots, cream, whisked in egg, top with Parmesan, broil until brown.

Veggie gratin that isn't the most healthy but is better than nothing, and brilliant served as a side to steak. I recommend mushrooms, spinach or zucchini.

Maybe I’m just not prepping them right, but for me the problem I have with a lot of veggies is the texture.

Ok God, then why didn't you make them already seasoned?! God has shitty taste!

Vegetables taste bad?

My brother in Christ, you're addicted to junk food

https://youtu.be/ioH53m2cod4?si=4yHlRUfi1MkIN-7h

I feel like this is relevant...

put some salt on the veggies an hour before eating.

salad literally means brined vegetables.

nutritionist hate this one trick.

"oh my god!" -God

I just discovered a cookbook called Six Seasons: A New Way with Vegetables by Joshua McFadden while looking up cookbooks to get me to eat more veggies. It's in the mail, so I can't vouch for the recipes yet. Apparently it's very highly rated though and I'm excited for some tasty veggies.

Nope. You can't fix bitter vegetables. Hell, you can barely smother them enough to hide the taste. I'd rather die "young" from eating delicious trash.