1y ago

Pentagon to MAGA world: You need to calm down over Taylor Swift

www.politico.com Pentagon to MAGA world: You need to calm down over Taylor Swift

“The absurdity of it all boggles the mind,” said one senior administration official.

National security officials are used to shaking off absurd conspiracy theories, but the latest rumor that’s gripped MAGA world just hits different.

The claims by Fox News and far-right influencers that pop star Taylor Swift is part of a Pentagon “psychological operation” to get President Joe Biden reelected, and somehow rig the Super Bowl to benefit Kansas City Chiefs tight end (and Swift’s boyfriend) Travis Kelce, has been met with forehead slaps in the national security world.

“The absurdity of it all boggles the mind,” said one senior administration official, granted anonymity because they were not authorized to comment publicly on the matter. “It feels like one of those ‘tell me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist, without telling me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist’ memes.”

225 comments

MAGA crowd, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
- That Billy Madison quote applies well here.
  
  It should be set to music and become anthemic for them (or us i guess 🤣)
  If we're being super loose with it (and "we" are) you could literally use the opening theme for Billy Madison and it could sort of work out lol
  How amazing would it be if they could get Biden or Dems in one chamber to say this to their repub terrorists?
  
  That Billy Madison quote applies well to pretty much anything conservatives say.
- One might even say,
- You could've just said incorrect...

These people just can’t handle anything, just anything, not being exactly as they like it, and if it isn’t, it has to be some sort of conspiracy.
- That’s my dad. Trump is a god to him, and anything negative said about him is a liberal plot to stop him from his patriotic duty. The cognitive dissonance that man shows is baffling!
  
  My stepfather is like that. I even tried to use his own logic to help him see most of these conspiracies are dumb; "you said yourself that the gov't is incompetent. So how can they pull off a conspiracy at this scale if they can't run the country?" - stuff like that.
  It doesn't matter, he's fully drank the Kool-Aid, so I just keep him at arm's distance now.
  
  Thank goodness my Dad never went down that path, but honestly if he did I might just punch him straight in the face.
  
  That’s so sad
- Guys the best quarterback in the league made it to the superbowl again, it's a conspiracy against us. No other way to explain this.
  
  Also some of them say, "the 49ers need to win to save the country"...but like the big conspiracy is that Taylor is supposed to make a half-time endorsement of Joe Biden.... So like, how would either team eventually winning the game have any impact on the half-time show?
- And now that there's a denial, from a "senior administration official," it's proof-positive of a vast conspiracy. "Why would they deny something that's not real?"
  
  xD
  Why would they deny something that's not real, indeed.
  God damn.
- At this point it almost seems like more than that. It's like they need to manufacture some outrage to keep everyone angry about something.
- The signs are there

Remember, a lot of young conservative men were convinced Taylor Swift was a white nationalist who posted with them on 4chan.
When she started telling people to go vote (she didnt even say for a specific party, but just telling people to vote is enough to convince them you're a democrat) they took that as Taylor Swift betraying them.
So much of what conservatives engage with is completely made up and exists only inside their own heads.
- These are some of the same rocket surgeons that believe(d) that Hillary was using a pizza parlor with no basement to run an international pedo ring out of the basement of the pizza parlor.
  Not really known for their application of reason and logic.
- I mean, those same young conservative men are convinced that Taylor Swift and Lorde both have nudes posted on 4chan, because of the “tits or gtfo” rule.
  Note that the speculation has existed since Swift and Lorde were both like 16.
- High voter turnout typically means Democrat victory, as the only people who make sure to vote EVERY election is the paranoid "Keepin' up with the Jonesses" suburban America types

This feels like one of those things /b/ started as a joke, and a few echo chambers took it seriously, and the media assumed or "assumed" it was far more widespread than it was. At least, I hope so
- At work I have a regular that comes into the office and she spouts conspiracies like these and started talking about Taylor Swift vaccines and the deep state in the last week or so, so there are definitely a few true believers.
  
  Taylot Swift vaccines
  These will never work. She's just too infectious.
  
  Oh no doubt, no matter how insane sounding there will be believers. It's almost always related to undiagnosed or unmedicated mental disorders with delusions as a symptom. It's really sad that we don't prioritize mental health more in this country.
- The entire alt right movement was exactly that. It was a joke on b that did this.
  Like I used to think that enders game was stupid when it came to the weird internet forum starting a movement and influencing politics but that has literally happened in real life lol
  
  Except that in Ender's Game they used weird internet forums to actually improve public discourse and awareness.
  
  Right? I remember when the_Donald started on reddit, I thought it was hilarious and just people making fun of Trump and behaving like over the top cultists. And in the beginning it obviously was only just a joke. And then it got real and people really thought what was written there was the truth. People for banned and an echo chamber formed.
  Was it the same on /b/? Did anyone experience the same as me back then? I really wanna know if all of this came from dumb internet humour...
- You took the words right out of my neurolink embedded keyboard...
  This really is one of the most amusing panics they've had in recent years.
  
  Until someone shoots up a concert again
- There have always been sports fans who think that when their team loses, it's because the ref is on the take. Now you have legalized sports gambling everywhere, with non-stop ads, and official NFL partnerships. Combine that with dozens of hyper slo-mo cameras covering every angle when a ref misses a call, and the conspiracy that the NFL is rigged has become more common the last two years.
  Without getting into how absolutely stupid that is, it's only a few more leaps in logic to get to where they seem to be: they keep showing Swift during games, because her fans tune in to see her, ergo, they'll want her to be on screen during the biggest have of the year! The NFL wants the Chiefs to go to the super bowl. (I bartend, and I've had non-maga people saying this to me.) Add in the paranoia that comes with facism, and boom, a new MAGA grand conspiracy is born.
  
  There have always been sports fans who think that when their team loses, it’s because the ref is on the take.
  It doesn't help that this has actually happened though like with the NBA in the late 90s/early aughts.
  
  Listen, I'm a lifelong football player, coach and fan. If you're trying to tell me the game isn't rigged for the Chiefs to be in the Superbowl I'm telling you you're the conspiracy Nutter!
  Signed Your biggest Baltimore Ravens fan.
- Trump's massive inferiority complex and narcissism is also driving it
- I feel like this is how a lot of stuff starts these days. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a "psy op" (possibly created by actual children).

"They add that she's not, in fact, part of a psychological operation to sway voters to Joe Biden."
MAGA - "Yeah, but that's just what they WOULD SAY! THIS PROVES IT!!!"
- This is completely sarcastic but it's so, so, SO dumb that this is in fact the sentiments of the ppl on the new the_donald website. Smh

The Qtards should be treated like Al Qaeda or ISIL operating in the United States. All their communications should be monitored. They should be infiltrated and any time one of them make threats or start making plans to do anything illegal, as many as possible are arrested, locked up and embroiled in the justice system as much as possible - prison time, time in court, etc.
- There are more incidents of them killing innocents over dumb conspiracies. Like that son and his dad being beheaded.
  
  ?
- Some of them very likely are foreign intelligence operatives attempting to influence locally.
- Or just declare them as the Clear And Present Danger that they are and treat them exactly how union labor was treated by the military and East Indian Fruit Company
- Just count any retweet, thumbs up etc to the threats and you'll round up thousands at a time I bet.
  
  The FBI doesn't have jurisdiction in Russia tho
- Why not just give them the Al Qaeda or ISIL treatment and send a drone to blow up their house?
  
  Some would say "what about innocent bystanders in the house?" but the chances of others in the household not being exactly the same are miniscule

I love that the Pentagon is referring to dank memes.
Reality really is stranger than fiction.
- I'd bet the Pentagon has a huge presence on all fringe forums and memeboards.
- Just think of all the tax dollars wasted paying law enforcement to surf 4chan... It's funny because you know that's a real job...
  
  I don't think it's a waste of money. There's plenty of pedophiles sharing CSAM on 4chan and probably a terrorist or two as well.
- I mean, people who grew up on the internet can get up in high-ranking positions too, especially as we all get older.

America wtf
- Fuck if I know dude. I thought we had hit a low with bush. Then we went and elected a black man and holy ever living fuck did that break right-wing people. Just absolutely broke their fragile little minds and here we are.
  
  You guys need to elect a black man with a heavy inner-city accent who enacts serious change so you can break them all the way once and for all.
- So glad I'm not American. I can view all this like a reality TV show.
  
  Yeah but... ummm...you're on the OTHER end of all our guns. No one is safe from our craziness.
  
  As a half Brit half American, Britain really hasn't been really pulling many Ws recently either
  
  Until it reaches you in the form of a global economy collapse.
  Of course, China could be the savior, but would that really be a win?
  
  I honestly envy you.
  
  Except if the Cheeto Benito starts some shit somewhere in the world due to his excellent diplomatic skills god forbid he gets elected again, pretty sure we are all in the shitter.
  
  until we drag the whole western world into a real fucking shit show. lets not forget how close tony blair and george w bush were when it came to handling iraq
  
  Yeah, except most reality TV is 99% made-up bullshit that just impacts nothing outside the “participants” and water cooler gossip.
  Except Love on the Spectrum. Thats just wholesome AF.
- 40 years of crippled public education and a media landscape owned by the wealthy elites that use it to push anything to distract us from the fact that our greatest enemy are billionaires.
- Are you even surprised by us anymore

When we look back on this era what are we going to say drove them to this? Like, we explain the Salem witch trials by saying that there was ergot in the water which likely had them hallucinating.
What is it now? Is TikTok this much of a problem? Is there ergot in the water? What the hell is happening...
- Maybe lead and micro-plastics? But that's just a guess.
  
  Lead in the water, micro plastics in the food, Reagan in the air.
  
  Plausible. It seems apparent that this is something that's been introduced into basically all humans water supply in the last 50 years. I'm sure it's been getting worse and worse as time has gone on, and it could be that we are at a critical mass where it is starting to affect behaviors en masse.
- Possibly how all the different crises like inequality, climate, capitalism, pollution all converged. People sought quick solutions and some leaders gave them solutions that were ready, quick and wrong. Blaming others went to cult like heights. Until it all collapsed.
  
  All of these things contribute to it, yes, but I do think that there is a level of absurdity to what we are witnessing that is not adequately explained simply by coercion. Perhaps I'm wrong.
- we explain the Salem witch trials by saying that there was ergot in the water which likely had them hallucinating
  Witch trials were ways for powerful people to get rid of those who challenged the established system. These conspiracies are the same as they've always been.
  Fox News leaders aren't pushing these stories because they're high. It's because they're billionaires who don't want to lose their power and control. Just like in the time of witch trials, these powerful people are spreading fear, doubt, and confusion in order to distract the masses from giving too much attention to meddling people making troublesome arguments against the current system.
- Tiktok? If you find someone who isn't a swifty on Tiktok, they probably won't survive long.
  This nonsense comes from Fox and truth social.
  
  Didn't Andrew Tate rise on TikTok?

shaking off
Heh
- Imagine how they were rolling around the newsroom off of that zinger
  
  I've worked in the newsroom. And yeah, they do love a pun more than is healthy..

I am surrounded by dipshits in this country...

I’ve always known maga people are dumber than shit, but now they’re just running the world’s worst D&D session online and on Fox.
- This looks like a job for a gazebo.

I'm gripped by a strong urge to start anonymously sending some Taylor Swift / KC Chiefs merchandise to family members and acquaintances who have been guzzling the red-hat Flavor Aid for the last decade. It's probably not the most productive use of time and money but this whole thing is just goddamn ridiculous.
- There's probably a Taylor Swift email notification service for upcoming concerts and such that you could sign them up for.
  Free, and guaranteed to stir up the Trumpanzees in your life without putting a target on your own back.
  
  Anonymous remailers exist, I'd just have to ship it to them in a package they could open and reseal before sending it on. There are some other rules involved as well, turns out there's some risk of those being used for less than savory purposes.

Dark Brandon gives their supersolders the hardest battles.
Agencies has so many stories and gossips of coups, secret weapons and psychological experiments like MK-ULTRA, and they used Taylor telling people to vote as their psy-op?
Big scary government that can hear every your word and can even say them for you, can track and kill you at any time - uses a pop-star to make a point?
Who buys that bullshit? Is it, again, the weak but strong enemy? That's a story even Onion wouldn't publish.
- Wait for it. Win or lose, once they realize how embarrassing this episode should be, it'll become something that none of them actually believed and besides, it was all started by some lefty trying to make fun of them. The real conspiracy turns out to be (in hindsight with the benefit of selective memory and heavy retconning) a push to drive up merchandise sales. They'll make a reference to globalists, lizard people and something about "controlling the media" without a specific J-word for plausible deniability.
  
  You can't say jewelery without a J-word, don't you? They are stupid rich and are out to get you. Hide your kids, hide your wife, as they'd come to you to take them, and dance Hava Nagila over your cold dead body. Stupid leftists think I'm insane now, but who'd they ask to help, when jewish reptiloids would take their children and farm them for adenochrome? Not me, I'd shoot them on sight as any other trespasser. God bless America.
- This way they get to hate a beautiful woman who would never fuck them
- I mean, if agencies theoretically wanted more dem votes, there are worse ways than getting a mega superstar to ask her fans for them. But if they were in the business of controlling US elections we probably wouldn't have the entirety of the shitshow that is existence right now.

I'm waiting for one of them to call for a protest of the 2024 election because it's rigged, convincing thousands of MAGA to not vote. We're nearly there....
- Be the change you want to see in the world.

Nah fuck em. Let them freak out. Fucking moron shitcunts.
- “Shitcunts”… I may steal this. 😂
  
  Really? You couldn't come up with something like that yourself?

MAGA world to Pentagon: la la la la la la la la la neener neener neeeeeener la la la la

I didn't realize how much Fox News was involved with this. I guess Fox is back in with the MAGA crowd?
What they're doing is very dangerous.
- Uh... what? Fox News is the biggest right-wing propaganda platform in the world and it (still) exists to influence opinion. They've hosted him and his sycophants and election-denyers, etc multiple times. They might have briefly looked into how to insulate themselves after paying out almost a billion dollars for lies, but they're still all-in for Trump and the MAGA crowd, believe it...
  
  Well, I'm not American and I don't watch Fox News, so I didn't realize that they were the ones pushing this Taylor Swift conspiracy narrative. Also, it feels like it wasn't that long ago that I heard MAGA was going to boycott Fox.

May I have your attention, please

"tight end"? No way thats a fucking position!?
- Wait until you hear that there's also a "wide receiver".
  
  Gimme dat wide receiver
  
  They must be the guys with a bumhole wide enough to slot the ball in!
- yeah they should have proper sports names like googley, Dibbly dobbly, slog sweep and jaffa
- Pitcher
  Catcher
  Hooker
  Back door slider
  Clean and jerk
  Five hole
  Pole position
  Double team
  It's not just American football that has the funny sexual innuendos
  
  oo er misus 😤
- Yeah

I'm sure that'll put it all to rest

Sadly they'll take the "Suspiciously specific denial" (How they'd see it) as confrimation

The Pentagon is right here.

Of all the violence, media manipulation, lies, a LITERAL coup attempt, and what the pentagon decides to crack down in is Fox slandering A FUCKING POP STAR?!
This world is insane, it has been for a while now.
edit: to stem the hate. I have nothing against Taylor Swift, good on her for telling people to vote. I don't get her music but then I'm not her target demographic.

The Pentagon knows it can't handle the wrath of angry Swifties.

And here we again run into the fundamental problem with the alternative facts crowd:
Whats being said here is factually true, and not really controversial...
...Unless youre a Q Brained MAGAtard.
When you look at it from their point if view?
This is more evidence they are correct.
These people are violent, anti democratic, basically cannot be reasoned with, and there are a /lot/ of them.
This situation does not have a comfortable solution.

Does anyone actually know real people who believe any of this shit or is this just bots/media pushing a narrative
- Haven't called my dad in a while but I'll give him a ring today. He's usually 100% on board with the mainstream maga garbage. I'll update my comment after.
  
  Haha how'd that go
- Oh there are absolutely people who 100% believe this. This kind of shit is all I hear about whenever I talk to a lot of my family.
- Yeah, and unfortunately I'm related to them. The maternal side of my family has pretty much split in two and aren't talking to the other half nowadays because of shit like this.
- I work with a couple people that I think may believe this. I haven't specifically talked to them about this, but they believe they other conspiracy theory, so it would make sense. One is a flat Earther is that helps paint a picture.
- i do

Tey could have just left it at "you need to calm down"

I remember remarking over the last couple months how Swift's rise to superstar this past year could have a real impact on Voter turnout. I was hoping she'd pop into the political sphere and boy, Republicans just made sure she will lol.
Edit: Okay, calm down. Sure absolutely she's been a superstar for years, but nobody can deny she jumped to whatever the next level is called this past year. She went from another highly successful pop star a la Lady Gaga or Katie Perry to literally the most successful of all time to the point where she inundates my feeds (pre-recent politics news) where no other pop star does.
- She's been a superstar a whole lot longer than this past year.
  She became a billionaire in the past year. You know how hard that is to do as an artist? She's been at this a minute. Like 2 decades of superstar minutes.
  
  Sure absolutely, but nobody can deny she jumped to whatever the next level is called this past year. She went from another highly successful pop star a la Lady Gaga or Katie Perry to literally the most successful of all time to the point where she inundates my feeds (pre-recent politics news) where no other pop star does.
  
  Oh please... Taylor Swift is an "artist" as much as I'm a world class chess grandmaster.
  Apparently billionaires should not exist... Except for Taylor Swift.
- "This past year"? Did you live under a rock? She has been a superstar for a long time now.
  
  In a way I have, and this proves my point:
  Sure absolutely, but nobody can deny she jumped to whatever the next level is called this past year. She went from another highly successful pop star a la Lady Gaga or Katie Perry to literally the most successful of all time to the point where she inundates my feeds (pre-recent politics news) where no other pop star does.

No, no, keep it up, get arrested for trying to do something and lose your voting rights

But that's exactly what they would say if it were a psy-op, isn't it?
I'm joking and I wish that were obvious, but nowadays it probably isn't.
Seriously tho, can we go back to conspiracy theories about bigfoot? It's equally bullshit, but the worst case scenario with bigfoot conspiracy theories is that people do some more hiking to try to spot him.

only a week to go. was hoping it was today. conspiracy roulette

225 comments