Right-wing Christian podcaster claims that airport body scanners can turn you gay
Right-wing Christian podcaster claims that airport body scanners can turn you gay
Right-wing Christian podcaster caught in homosexual tryst in 3... 2... 1...
He just couldn't maintain the dissociative barrier that he used to hypnotize himself into pretending he was straight anymore once he saw that cute twink flight attendant. Now all those repressed feelings are drowning him and he's desperate to blame literally anything outside his own biology for the strong feelings of attraction toward men assaulting his senses from every direction.
This is crazy specific, and I'm here to jerk off to it.
There are plenty of people out there who believe gay people choose to be gay. Nevermind that straight people didn't choose to be straight and can't just will themselves into being attracted to people of the same sex.
It's such a a simple concept and yet I have to admit there was a point in my life where this had not occured to me until a friend of mine, who was gay, politely pointed it out. It made me seriously reconsider much of what I was taught about human sexuality.
I think most humans are at least somewhat bisexual. I think for some homophobes (and transphobes), it’s “I have these feelings too, I’m just superior because I’m suppressing it” - at least internally.
“Spiritual warfare” is “I thought about what sucking that guy’s dick would be like for a few seconds, and was able to ‘win’ by not submitting.”
After glancing at the picture of this person, I can honestly say that even stripped of this damning, projection laden context, I would have guessed the person pictured was gay.
Such a weird cope. "It's not me that's gay, it's the xrays, and the self checkouts, and the drive home from work, and the 5g, and..."
He's referring to ProVision. It doesn't use xrays. It does see through your clothing. Thats why you can opt out.
I think when you think all sorts of everyday experiences can "turn you gay", you might possibly be gay? And what do the scanners do to gay people? Turn them straight, or somehow more gay?
Like, I've tried all sorts of things in my life, including same-sex sex, and am still straight - like even if I were actively trying to change my sexuality it doesn't. Sometimes to my despair, as I get older, it would be easier to not have such a strong preference.
Sometimes to my despair, as I get older, it would be easier to not have such a strong preference.
Being bi only doubles your likes, your odds stay roughly the same
It's interesting that you even felt the need to try it though. I know I'm not attracted to men, I can just tell. I feel no need to test it.
But I am a lady, and women are beautiful, and we are more physically affectionate with each other. I think at least a large minority try? It wasn't traumatic, just felt nothing like sex. Performance only, no excitement, no nothing. Though I guess it might be like that with a guy I wasn't into, as well.
Can confirm. I was super straight until I locked eyes with that tall dark and handsome TSA agent on the other side of the machine. Sounds like this dude has a similar story.
Mate, you had to go through the scanner first …sorry to tell you, you’re still straight. Thoughts and prayers.
You dont have to go through the scanners. You say no, and they let you skip it. But the tall dark handsome man will grope you
He's using that as an excuse to have gay sex on when he travels. When you get scanned on the way home it turns you back straight. Or makes you gay^2 more research needs to be done.
First time through the machine makes you gay, second time gives you the voice.
Going through a second time cancels out the gay polarity. Just make sure you always go through an even number of times and you'll always land back where you started.
That is most definitely not how to reverse the gay polarity.
When you think of this projection - it adds up!
Like it started as an excuse why he had a gay fling. He pieces together how he ended up balls deep in a twink and cornered on the TSA scanning him being the route cause.
"Sorry honey I walked trough a scanner and suddenly found myself with his dick in my mouth."
It's like how negative times negative is positive again. Two times gay machine cancels out .
Yea! Always opt out of the scanner and get groped by a male TSA agent instead. That's definitely the less gay option!
Dont worry, they tell you they'll use the back of their hand.
Unless those stupid bomb sniffing machines false-positive and say they detected explosive residue on you. Then they take you into a back room and tell you they're gonna grope you with the front of their hand, this time...
...he sucked dick at airport toilet, didn't he?
Why do you think some of us go to the airport a few hours early? You thought it was anxiety?
Its the best way to get your multitool not stolen from you...
He doesn't want to go into the gay machine so he prefers to get patted down by other men.
A few times, have to be certain the Devil didn't take over and force him to carry contraband.
For the love of God why is the right so fucking obsessed with people's sexuality? Leave people the fuck alone...
I keep thinking this about anyone that brings it up. It seems sexuality is their whole identity so that's how they must see everyone else too. I can't imagine mine or other's sexuality being so consistently at the forefront of my mind. Of all the things, why that? If they can't keep it out of their mind, at least keep it in their head so others don't have to deal with it.
If I had a nickel every time a conservative blamed X for homosexuality, only for them to end up in a gay scandal...
Finally a conspiracy theory that's fun. Unfortunately, I keep going through the airport body scanners, but for some reason I'm not feeling gay
They don't put the gayification beam on at all times, otherwise it would be too obvious.
Try going through with a cute moustache, maybe thats the right combo
Are you thinking about big hard dicks when you do it? I feel like to be turned gay by the body scanner you gotta be thinking about giant throbbing cocks.
Punish me senpai scanner
Fuck you. You know those are optional, right?
When you let them violate you, you're a scab against all of us.
Somehow this comic accurately describes our reality:
I never thought the Deep State was a State that fucks you Deeper
Ask him how he knows.
This is the question.
How improbable is it that he could have made a connection to airport scanners if somebody else told him they were having confusing feelings.
Wait, since the homophobes are in power, can we use this?
Turns out defunding science turns you gay, guys..
Low taxes on rich people make them gay.
And a CUCK
Thats crazy because rich people keep telling me low tax on them funds growth and helps everyone.
I mean, why would rich people lie?
Hating someone for the color of their skin is the gayest thing you could do.
Ok, this is obviously stupid, but if we can turn the power of the nutjobs against airport scanners and biometrics and such, I say bring on the crazy.
Here was me hoping he'd be swearing off flying altogether.
The ends justify the stupid 🫱🫲
To be fair, every time he goes through one he has gay sex in the airport washroom. I mean, it is EVERY time for him. Quite the correlation for quite a lot of cum in his mouth.
It turned him gay after one scan! That is why, when his wife called the hotel room, a random guy answered the phone. He explained to her that her husband is now gay because of the airport scanner and he would be turned back once he scanned again. "They work like switches, he said to her, and then added, "and boy was your husband turned on!” He went in to explain it always makes her husband gay when travels.
We need to encourage this belief that way we can keep those plague rats contained
... and adds, "so if anyone catches me sucking dick in the airport bathroom, that would be why."
seems like they are running out of funny things to say
I'm unfamiliar with this particular issue... looked it up ahh, more government sanctioned abuse on our most vulnerable minorities in the false banner of protection.
This guy gives off strong “youth counselor” vibes.
I think he NEEDS that to be the case.
"I just really need for this to keep happening"
I think you responded to the wrong comment.
It happened to him & he felt the need to warn everyone. 🤣🤣🤣
Stop it! Stop giving stupid people attention. Seriosly. They feed their stupidity with attention. Just ignore, dont't share and they will dissapear.
As stupid as this is, I see mostly positive consequences coming from this: either they'll oppose TSA, or they'll refuse to fly. Both sound like a win to me.
But TSA is also big into molesting people and touching them inappropriately.
Which makes it a big win for conservatives.
In case anyone is wondering why they say stupid shit like this, it's because they need to be able to convince a whole lot of stupid people that being gay can be "cured", just as it can be caused. And the cure? Religion.
It's all a big scam.
I figured it was so that when it's discovered that they've been boning other dudes (or kids unfortunately) they can blame TSA scanners or some other shit. Surely it can't just be that they're monstrous assholes.
"Refuse airport bodyscan searches!"
"Because they're a means of privacy invasion and demostrates the TSA's pointless existence yet dangerous power?"
"No, becuase they'll turn you into a sausage-loving twink!"
Then why was I gay before I ever flew? Seriously when I was young and my peers were getting crushes on girls, I was getting crushes on boys. Seems I always liked boys and was never interested in girls.
your mom probably walked through one while pregnant /s
Well, if you're a frog, it was the water.
Just because airport scanners turn you gay, that doesn't mean there aren't other ways to be gay.
Your mom went by an airport while pregnant, and just the proximity is enough sometimes
Dude, you were gay already and just hadn't admitted it to yourself.
Hmmm... Every gay person I know has drank water. He should probably stop drinking water just to be safe.
Orrrr drink a ton of it!
So now that the airport scanner made you gay, what are you going to do with your new gayness?
Continue sucking dick in the airport bathroom stalls, but now he can sleep with a clear conscience because it's the scanners fault.
They do? Great! Let's get rid of them.
Christianity is the silliest of all the religions.
And that’s saying something.
There are some really silly ones
Yet Christianity is the silliest.
Sexy ass blonde man in a loin cloth showing off his shredded abs… plastering this image everywhere.
Worshiping this sexy man.
And then being like “gay is bad mkay”
Silly.
My religion is based on there being no universal truths, and cookies being the embodiment of all that is pure and good in creation.
And Christianity is still the silliest by a wide margain.
Well, looks like I better book a flight.
I do feel a little more flamboyant every time I take a flight.
Can confirm, ran the numbers and in just over 3 years Atlanta turned every american gay. That's why for such a long time now, every american is gay, always. It's those body scanner!
It always amazes me what stupid excuses they search when they find themselves or someone close "not in compliance". Once they find out that they are e.g. gay, it is never "because God created them so". It's always "(something I don't like or understand) turned them so".
It is never something that even has the possibility to course personality changes. It's always something weird.
So he’s been doing a lot of flying huh?
So just HOW gay can an airport scanner make you? Merely fabulous? Or are we talking midriff-baring t-shirt and nut-hugger shorts Fire Island gay?
We need a gif where someone walks in pale and balding in a suit, and they walk out in a ripped in a mankini
1st time, you just start calling people silly goose. 2nd time makes you gay as a handbag full of rainbows. 3rd time? You're Mr. Slave now.
Let me guess, he was caught in the airport mens toilet on his knees and came up with this?
I'm down with getting rid of the jobs program that is the TSA and getting all those people on a UBI
Same. Of all the shitty things DOGE is doing to destroy a functioning government, chopping TSA isn't a problem for me.
Unfortunately they're increasing the military budget. Expect for profit drunken mercinaries with ARs and PTSD to be working the security checkpoints soon
Or at least move them to a job in which they're actually useful. Have they ever actually managed to catch anybody smuggling contraband?
Yes. They took my peanut butter. They said it was contraband.
Ever? Yes.
How much? Well, a few years ago they did a test and they found something like 2 out of 70 guns, something like that.
Mrs. Simpson made me gay
If this got rid of those scanners, I wouldn't complain.
Well if it gets them banned..
I'm watching this going from this is freaking hilarious --> this is freaking ugly as fuck --> fuck this world as my thinking went deeper.
Holy fuck! How many times did he go through it?!
Far-IR radiation is male, so sending it through your dick makes you gay.
I've been through many airport body scanners and I like men, so I guess it's true. ¯(ツ)/¯
Probably the only good thing DOGE has done is slash TSA funding.
Dude, either shave the mustache or grow the rest of the beard.
As it stands now it's just a billboard for the Cruise Patrol.
there is no path forward until every christian in this country fears for their life.
They just turn me angry.
I mean, as much as the next thing. We don't really know what would turn people gay.
Ummm, nothing. It's a biological trait upon birth. Christians are so funny when they say it's a choice. So if you feel it's a choice, pastor, or Brother, then guess what? You have a biological attraction to men. But no, they'd rather continue the lie that the Bible condemns homosexuality, not pedophilia, as that means they are really in trouble.
I think there's a scandal on the horizon for this guy.
lmao
Hey! After I got scanned, I started sucking dick in the airport bathroom too.
After my scan, my stance got really wide all of a sudden
After I got scanned, I let everyone on the plane board me early. What a journey!
They scanned me, so I frisked them
The Scan that Gay'd Me
I might get nuked for this, but I feel like we're arguing for or against the best way for Republicans to violate our rights. Neither of these options are okay, and the TSA is a fucking poorly funded play.
So are you saying to encourage the stupid people to think that the scanners will make you gay so they'll get frisked instead? Interesting way to think about it.
"Nah, nah, that will make me gay. You there, feel me up instead."