If only everyone wishing to be older already knew this part
If only everyone wishing to be older already knew this part
Eh, I was tired and sad all the time as a kid too. At least now I have autonomy and don't have to live with crazy people.
84Also, chips make you fat now.
72And they give you a headache if you eat them at the wrong time
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It is my #2 priority as a dad that I impart upon them that they not rush into being an adult.
33When I was a kid, I really wanted to grow up quickly. I was autistic and did well in school, but I didn't understand the other kids socially. My parents wanted me to move up a year. The school principal didn't want that, she wanted me to stay with the kids my age so I could learn to relate to them. But I got moved up anyway, and I immediately started doing better. The older kids were more logical, because of their developed brains, and I understood them better. The older my peer group gets, the better I understand other people. Being a grownup is awesome!
But during my adolescent years, I started suffering from depression. Then I realised I was trans. I transitioned, and became a happier person than I'd ever been as a kid. I was only able to transition because I had more knowledge about how the world works, and I was in charge of my own medical affairs. Being a grownup is awesome!
Some kids just aren't meant to be kids. Or at least, they aren't meant to be treated the way our society treats kids. Children have little knowledge, no money, and no freedom. In many ways they are the most oppressed class of our society, as Bahamian-American immigrant and political scientist, Foreign, recently said. If a kid doesn't like being a kid, I'm inclined to take their judgement at face value. Being a kid does suck if you can't get your needs met and your level of ability is beyond your peers.
Imagine having to relive middle school. Yeah, that's what every day in the life of a child is like. Fuck that.
22Yup... dealt with a lot of similar stuff as a kid...
2Yeah, what I've found is that school personalities just transition into adult life. The bullies are middle managers, etc. Adults are every bit as childish as they were in school. It's just a different kind of playground.
1This sounds like my life. I excelled a lot in school, didn't really care much about having a lot of friends. I got moved up a year. Then I realized I was trans, transitioned, and am now doing great!
Also, hot take, but middle school was great. I still remember that "geography reliiiigion acheeeeivements politics economics social structuuure" song.
This is it for anyone interested
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For as long as I could remember I couldn't wait to "grow up".
I still haven't grown up.
But seriously thanks and good job dad, I know I have wished I had someone to explain and remind me how special childhood was when I was a child.
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Don’t sleep on getting enough rest (if you can, obviously)
Sleep is your superpower | 21,818,283 views | Matt Walker | TED2019
21Scumbag body wakes up at quarter after 5 for no reason >:(
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You guys are sad all the time???
17I alternate between being sad, being resentful, and giggling at memes.
14I wouldn’t say sad all the time but rarely happy. Fluctuate between sad and meh
13I mainly fluctuate between sad, angry, frustrated, and feeling defeated. I try to ignore everything... When I'm successful in ignoring things, that's my happy time.
Between work stress, financial stress, all the other stress, etc.... I don't get to be happy often. I usually settle for "not unhappy" or similar. I've become quite numb over the years and it takes a lot to motivate me to feel at all. Life just sucks too hard.
Such is being middle class.
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I know, I know okay that there are many people in bad situations or going through acute events that are terrible, and people with physiological depression but for many other people this negative malaise is self-inflicted. So many people who could be happy are focusing on and amplifying all negative parts of life, doomscrolling online, and then not taking the initiative to socialize or do things that would make them happy. This is reinforced by a culture where it is in vogue to play up your misery, and it turns into a game of one upsmanship.
The average person reading this can actually be happy, have friends, and do things instead of wallowing in a mental cage. I'm begging and pleading with people to make an effort to break out of this.
16Right, being sad all the time is not a normal part of being an adult. If you are, then make some time to find stuff that makes you happy. I recommend sex, drugs, and rock & roll.
5I wouldn't call trying to make plans with friends and meet new people then end up being ghosted or ditched as not taking initiative to socialize but alrighty. It's exhausting, and for nothing to come out of it for months on end makes it seem pointless.
5If you are being ghosted for months, it is time for a new approach.
3I think what the poster is trying to say is that for most people perspective is a choice and can be changed by making small adjustments to your life. You can also make huge adjustments but most people won't tolerate changing too fast.
The idea is that instead of the road to your goal being difficult and full of deception, its maybe that the goal itself is unreasonable or incorrect.
There's a lot of talk about how to achieve ones goals, whatever they are, but not much talk towards setting realistic goals for yourself and being realistic with what you expect to get out of achieving those goals.
Edit to add: more to your point about trying to make friends, its possible that its because the goal doesnt make sense. In my experience, adults dont have time to make friends just for the sake of friendship. It would be more realistic to set a goal of attending some sort of social event or sport consistently for a year where you would be around people enough to develop friendships without any risk.
Also I think these days people looking to meet strangers to make friends are almost indistinguishable from scammers and fraudsters at first, so that could be part of the issue with the relationships you've tried to pursue if that applies at all.
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This is reinforced by a culture where it is in vogue to play up your misery, and it turns into a game of one upsmanship.
I think part of this is that people who post about how happy they are look like they're bragging.
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Used to be sad and tired as well.
Ditched unhealthy food. Started running. Started losing weight. Started being active.
I used to sleep 8 to 11 hrs. Anything less and I'd be a wreck. Now I sleep 6hrs a night, even on the weekends and I'm good to go at 6am. It drives my GF nuts.
For me it was literally that "easy".
14I’m sad and tired. I did what you did (not a runner, I prefer lifting, but the point is the same. Eat well and work the body), and physically I’m in the best health of my life but this world is shit and it makes me sad and tired. For me, it is not that simple. No amount of exercise and healthy diet makes me less sad or tired.
6Yeah I'm in a similar boat. Also quit drugs and alcohol, which were probably an even bigger downer.
But when I get down, I do think like well at least I don't feel like trash in my body in top of everything. I don't know where you're at, but I hope you realise what a joy it is to just walk around without pain.
As for the external realities, I'm sorry to solutionize at you, but have you tried doing something positive in your community? It won't solve our big problems, but might give you a little hope of resilience at the local level.
Total aside: you might also want to get your blood tested.
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I find breaking the momentum (good or bad) is the hard part.
Since last year I adopted a "work all week, play all weekend" strategy; I basically work my 8 to 4, then immediately start working around the house, in projects, in hobbies, anything. I set myself a 7 pm warning to start wrapping up so I don't leave a mess behind, shower and chill until it's time for bed.
On weekends it's all fun stuff unless we need to do some special project around the house that could not be done during the week (usually some gardening stuff).
On the exercise front, I run 3 to 5 KM 3 times a week and literally play with some dumbbells also 3 times a week (usually during boring "listen only" meetings)
I have never accomplished more and felt progress than before. Now that the rhythm is going, I get restless if I can't do stuff (say due to weather or other commitments). Just yesterday my wife told me not to do as planned because we are undergoing a heat wave and it was "horrible" outside, yet I couldn't contain myself and decided to do what I could... I ended up completing the task of removing an old shurb we wanted to get rid of and I slept great with a sense of accomplishment and a bit of "good pain" from all the exercise
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Whoever invents a pill to stop physical aging at 25 will be increadibly rich
12I hear one was invented years ago. I think it was called a cyanide pill or something like that.
11Well, you are not wrong....
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Or found dead in an apartment, having committed suicide via several shots to the head
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1 and 2 may be causing 3 and 4 but I'm no doctor and all 5 apply to me so who am I to judge
4I have celiac and it's amazing how big of a deal being low in one (or more) vitamins can be. I have gotten deficient often enough that I can almost recognize each type of tiredness from my most common deficiencies. Being tired from anemia/low iron is definitely different than being tired from a vitamin b deficiency, for instance. And being simultaneously deficient in vitamins that work together - like calcium and magnesium, or vitamins a, d, e, and k - also feels different than being deficient in just 1 of these vitamins.
When people tell me they crave a lot of certain foods, that's a sign that their body wants whatever vitamin is in that food. If your body hasn't tried a lot of other healthier foods, it won't have learned their nutritional content and won't crave it. Potatoes (in potato chips) contain small amounts of metals like copper, zinc, lithium, iron. Corn similarly has vitamins, I do not eat much corn so idk what all it has in it.
However, just because you're getting a tiny bit of zinc from a whole bag, doesn't make the chips good for you. They come with other nutrients including sodium which are excessive and should be balanced with a good potassium intake (like a bottle of coconut water). Your body isn't meant to process huge loads of wasteful food, and that comes at a price. Eating more efficiently with more nutrient dense foods is best (especially dark leafy greens which contain chlorophyll which can actually make ATP in your blood stream for basically "free" - free energy).
Last, we all have different genetics. Not all of us need the exact same diet or vitamins. Some of us literally need extra vitamin A (do you have genes from either the north or south pole, such as Russian or Native American? You might want to take slightly extra vitamin A along with other fat soluble vitamins like vitamin D). And every vitamin is like this, some being more serious than others. Some people can't eat much tyramine without developing possible life threatening brain bleeds and high blood pressure. Olives contain tyramine as does certain types of red wine - many cultures eat these in volume and have no problem but some people just can't.
"You are what you eat" ended up being real wisdom
4I should start taking multivitamins again...
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Some kids have 3 and 4.
4Wait til you get married, have kids, and have a mortgage... oooweeee adulting is so much fun!
NOT.
1If you suck at being an adult, then yes.
-16Sounds like a "fuck you, got mine" boomer mentality. The rest of us have empathy.
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