Job application hell

You know without that circle I would never have known where to read

In the age of deepfakes, no way I'd make that video and submit it with all the other personal details I'd be putting into the application forms. That's a recipe for ID theft.

I hate this so much.

If you want to do a video interview, sure. But I'm not going to willingly give you a recording of myself without clear use terms.

How long are these files retained? Is this video subject to data privacy laws? Since they're requesting it be uploaded elsewhere, how many 3rd parties am I involving myself with by the end of this interview process?

Not to mention, we live in the era of deepfakes for voice and video. Do I have any gaurentee that this won't be used to train some AI model somewhere?

This level of hoop-jumping pre-employment should be made illegal on par with hazing laws. Not everyone can afford to be picky about potential employment.

Assuming this in America, I love how illegal this request is.

NoBoDy WaNtS tO wOrK aNyMoRe

Almost certainly the video will be fed into a platform that determines “worker quality via microexpressions”. I know because I’ve worked closely with the software provider before. It’s obviously all pseudoscientific bullshit, but employers love that kind of stuff.

On top of the protected class bypass a required video provides, we all know where that fucked up question is going in our American corpo language.

"I just see a lifetime of adversity as an opportunity to work even harder for my economic betters, herp derp!"

Upload something where the first 5 seconds is someone apparently doing that, then instantly cut into hardcore porn with extra loud noise

This is to keep people from actually applying, right?

What's the data retention policy? How will this be used, and by whom? What is their data retention policy? Will this be used to train AI? Etc etc etc.

Regardless of the answers provided Hard Pass.

Normalize Saying No

Unless this is for some kind of public speaking position, I would instantly drop the application and not apply to the company again

What’s that? A website is asking for public randos to upload meatspin and any other videos found from the internet to their servers for review where HR will need to watch them. I give this form 3 months to live if you share the url

Here's a video capture of scrolling down my resume and cover letter very slowly.

This is almost guaranteed to be used to deny minorities a position.

Post to pornhub, copy, paste.

Obvious Rickroll opportunity.

I just failed a job 'interview' because I kept freezing up on the video. I hate this shit so fucking much. This people should rot in hell. Not kidding, these companies are evil and probably do have that child sex ring the Q freaks talk about. I want to fucking die now.

Gee why are we not getting any new applications? Damn millennials don’t want to work!

So even if I could understand filtering out the lazy folks from those who are willing to jump through this particular video submission hoop, why the fuck do they waste people's time with such a ridiculously nebulous prompt? I honestly don't know how I would answer such a vague question for more than 30 seconds.

They really should name the company.

It's not a person, it's a company behaving badly.

There's a very good way of gauging how much of a dystopian shithole our world has become, and that's by simply watching quiz shows on daytime TV.

Compare Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to The Chase. In its original run, WWTBAM had two milestones for answering 5 (£1,000) and 10 (£32,000) questions correct respectively. This meant that failing after one of these checkpoints guaranteed you that prize. The Chase on the other hand is a series of quick-fire pub quiz rounds with some notoriously difficult questions where you're up against a professional quizzer and have to survive multiple rounds, before all the remaining contestants have to beat the 'Chaser' in a two-minute quick-fire round of pub quiz questions. Fail at any point? "You get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!"

The Chase is legitimately a much harder show where it is exponentially harder to actually win a cash prize as a contestant and that is one of the main reasons I fucking hate that show.

Where am I going with this? With the way the economy, automation, AI, scarcity, human population growth, etc is going, we are one day going to reach a point where we'll have to compete in game shows just to get a fucking job! If recruiters are making you record 2 to 5 minute video responses on a fucking job application, then we're already part-way there.

Paste in the link for Rick Astley. You know the one.

I don't think I've applied for a job in 20 years and I want to keep it that way. This current job search market is so demoralizing. All my jobs have been through networking

HR: why didn't you do the video part?

Me: I don't have a camera

HR: What about your phone?

Me: I don't have one of those either.

HR: I literally just watched you use the calendar!

Me: No you didn't. Are you okay? You seem to be imagining things.

HR: You're literally recording a video of me right now!

Me: I think you mean I'm Livestreaming you right now. But I'm not doing that either. You're definitely imagining it.

*2 -3 minutes of me saying "SHIT!" over and over*

"Nevermind, I don't work with people who use idiotic interview processes. I can only imagine how dysfunctional and adversarial your company is, based on this idiocy".

2-5 minutes of skibidi toilet

"Thank you for uploading your video submission. Our AI system will review your video shortly."

Which of these two shapes best describes your personality and work ethic? Write a 3 paragraph explaining why.

It's just gonna be me staring into the camera for 5 minutes.

Just record a video of yourself scream crying while making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and singing the national anthem.

100% recording this under a bridge in the middle of the night with animal eyes showing up in the camera lense.

google the person reviewing this, talk about them by name, then get 5 or 6 people to do the same. wear a mask, have a voice filter and hold a medieval mace during the video.

"Hi, I don't respect human society because it's observably lacking in compassion. Not only for non-human animals, but even for human animals. You guys are pathetic and I'm not interested in being part of your self-fellating club."

How I'd stretch that out into 2 minutes I don't know.

"Are you a fuck up? Please expound, in detail."

The nice thing about developing a skill is that it really puts the inter in an interview. The employer has to be polite and answer questions. They feel bad about wasting your time because you will walk away if they do that too much.

Wouldn’t recommend life. I suggest asking for a refund.

just sends 3 minutes of my apartment with no sound

Just find something wild on tiktok and paste it

Could still be worse. They can still mandate that you post it on a paid service. That they own.

Me recording my voice to random video gameplay.

My call

Luckily somebody circled it for us, I'm not sure I would've known what was being pointed out to use otherwise.

I hated these. They were all from the sketchy companies, too. None of the good ones I actually wanted to work for did this.

Huh. Guess it’s time to fire up the AI script deepfake generators and put ‘em to use.

definition of: taking the piss

Since this screenshot of a post never disclosed what the subject of the video needs to be and simply mandates a speech 2-5 minutes long, one could record their voice over a stock film of something random